Stupid Corporate Buzzword - 'Learnings'

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

I just hope I can remember this post the next time the issue of who said this in what movie comes up! :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

This bugged me enough that I went searching for…

Mystery quote: ‘‘It doesn’t do anything. That’s the beauty of it.’’
03-25-2007, 08:19 PM
Earl Snake-Hips Tucker
08-10-2007 11:58 AM
by toadspittle
88 5,435 Cafe Society

…and I’m going to start a new thread for discussion of the linked thread and others like it that tend to hang around in our memories long after the last post has gone up.

Join me? (I’ll come back with a link to the new thread once it’s up).

42

Whoever comes up with these corporate buzzwords might want to do some Internet research first, lest those who follow them be compared to a LOLcat.

I eagerly await the next great management book, Who Stole My Bukkit?.

43

The new thread is Just one of those things that the SDMB is good for?

44

I agree with everything you are saying. But the answer to your question is “no one”. Because at the end of the day, “That’s what Mckinsey/Accenture/Deloitte/Bain/etc recommended and they were supposed to be the best” sounds a lot better than “newcomer had this idea” when the Vice President of Whatever is trying to explain how his division is all fucked up.

At the startup where I work, the entire management team (including me) are all ex-management consultants. Out of the ten people in my office, we have two Vice Presidents, a Director of Delivery Services, an Account Manager, an Engagement Manager, a Marketing Manager, and like two analysts doing actual work.

I like using this tool in my Powerpoint decks:

45

This thread needs more non-organic growth to remain viable.

46

Don’t forget that we need to circle back and close the loop.

47

I don’t think this particular constraint has ever been applied to management consulting :slight_smile:

48

The problem with this thread is that we didn’t level-set before we started. Somebody should have been tasked with level-setting.

49

I bow to your awesomeness.

50

Underperforming best-practice requirements for synthesizing turn-key convergence, this thread lacks ability to generate the critical mass necessary transform vertical technologies. Without engineering bleeding-edge action-items, it will not attract enough early adopters to cross the chasm and redefine a leading-edge paradigm.

This can clearly be visually actualized on this 2x2 matrix:

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—[COLOR=“Red”]X -----[/COLOR] ----------
51

People who talk like this for real are from Proxima Centauri, they can’t help it if they have an accent.