You sir, are a fucking idiot. There is NO reason in the normal course of things for a customer to scream abuse/whathave you at ANY employee.
If the employee is expected to maintain certain standards of behavior, why isn’t the customer?
Back when I worked at B&N as a head cashier I was up at the front cash wrap and had to deal with an older man mid-late 50’s who was insisting that we give him cash back on some books he was returning. I explained that we could only give him store credit for several books because they didn’t have a reciept for them. He maintained that he did, but that it was at home and that we could simply check the transaction using the “computer” (he pointed to the register.) I told him several times that it wasn’t a computer but a cash register and that it didn’t keep track of transactions beyond a certain point. He refused to even listen to this and began talking when I was talking simply trying to drown me out!:wally
One of the other cashiers called the manager on duty, a nice guy named Robert who arrived and said, “What can I help you with?”
To which the gentleman said **very ** loudly, “You can start by firing this fucking idiot of an employee. This fuck head has refused to help me in any way.”
Now, I didn’t start crying, I didn’t even get flushed. I stood there and listened to the customer harrangue me and cast aspersions upon my parents and so on until his affairs were finally settled.
Robert then turned to me and seeing that I was fairly upset, said, “You just have to let some things roll off your back.”
Is Robert a friend of yours, Bricker?
You just have to let some things roll off your back.
Kittenblue, that’s horrible. Your daughter has a lot of sympathy-vibes coming her way from me! I hope you’ve encouraged her to file a report on this manager to the upper offices? If not now, when she can quit?
(I, too, had a manager once who would scream at employees within the hearing of customers, a double whammy of unprofessionalism–a model of how not to run a business.)
OTOH, there are good managers out there, as the one I had when working collections who was listening in on one of my calls when a customer’s rep started to harass me (I didn’t call people, I called companies).
She got on the line and said, “Sir, no one is allowed to speak to my employees in that fashion.” Then, she hung up on him.
Anyone else thinking that this guy really just has a problem dealing with/relating to female employees? I mean, male employees aren’t likely to cry when they’re treated badly. Of course, they’re not likely to be yelled at publicly either.
kittenblue, I agree with everyone who has recommended that your daughter go over this schmuck’s head. He’s a pitiful excuse for management.
Thank you all for the kind words and advice. Most of the higher-ups my daughter works with in this national chain seem quite nice…just this one guy seems to be trying for the “Asshole Of The Quarter” award. And fortunately she’s not involved in the selling, preparing or serving of adult beverages…she works the front desk, or back in the game room selling the electronic equivalent of tokens. I know I have to let her fight her own battles at work, but those protective instincts die hard.
I would feel better about all of this if the manager had offered, or required, some training or advice on handling these situations. I know I have benefitted from knowing dialouges to use, and when to call for assistance, and when to end all discussion if a line has been crossed. But none of that is being offered. So I’m trying to train her, like I would one of my employees, on techniques to use (but you know how well daughters like to listen to their mothers…she still can’t use a sewing machine).
When one of my co-workers has a problem with a customer that seems to be escalating, we have an obligation to step in and control the situation. When the customer has been appeased, the situation resolved, we make sure the co-worker is okay, that they are given the opportunity to compose themselves, and then, after agreeing that the customer was over the line, you start the training. “What could you have done differently? What are some things you could have said to calm the customer? Did you see how I used confirmation and restatement to reassure the customer? Could you use some sample dialouge to keep in mind for the next time? Do you understand the policy on returns? How can I help you deal with these situations? Here’s the number and code signal for mall security.” NOT “go home, don’t come in for your shift tomorrow, we’ll talk on Monday, you’re demoted till you can stop getting emotional” Don’t financially punish your employee for an out-of-line customer.
kittenblue, what’s your daughter’s job? All I can tell from the OP is that alcohol was involved. Is she a bartender? A clerk at a liquor store? Cashier at K-Mart and the customers were drunk?
If she works retail and a couple of drunks came in and harrassed her, I can see how she might not expect that kind of treatment. But if she’s a bartender or a server in an establishment where alcohol is served, she should be prepared to have to deal with obnoxious drunks. Jeez, you should have seen the reactions I got the couple of times I had to cut someone off during the three months I tended bar.
But even when threatened with physical violence, cursed in ways that I wrote down to memorize for later use, and having a beer mug thrown at me, I neither cried nor lashed out. If you’re going to deal with the public on a regular basis, you need to find that inner peace, that middle ground, that spike of ice in your emotions that allows you to stare blankly at the asshole while they go off and then say, “I understand why you’re upset, and I’ll do what I can as soon as I can” over and over. If you can’t find that place, don’t go into the service industry.
** SisterCoyote**, maybe we can trade stories. I was working at the B. Dalton in Penn Square in Oklahoma City when Barry Switzer was signing his book. At the time it was the record for number of books sold in one day for all of the B&N holdings. Or I could tell you about the Halloween I had to spend wearing the Lyle, Lyle Crocodile suit handing out candy.
But plenty of reason for you to hurl written invective at me, eh?
Fortunately, your comment has left me with only a slight quivering lower lip, so my job is safe.
Look – I wasn’t defending the customer’s reasoning or justification. But in a customer-service organization, an employer is well within his rights to ask his employees to stay calm and professional in spite of customers’ outrageous behavior.
Of course, there are limits, and the limits are different with each job. Turning our attention back to my police officer example, I hope you’ll all agree that a “customer” - perhaps an unruly and intoxicated restaurant patron being told to leave - may well scream insults at the police officer called to assist… and that if her reaction is to break down and cry, or even need to immediately remove herself from the situation so she can cry privately, then we have a serious job performance problem.
At the other end of the scale, a sixteen-year-old hostessing at a restaurant, on her first day, can most certainly be forgiven if she breaks down and cries if some drunk nutcase screams at her and threatens to assault her.
Between the wide gulf of those two endpoints stretches a vast array of situations.
Police officers are expected to encounter outrageous conduct. Restaurant hostesses are not. Waiters may. Floor managers probably will. I stand by my point: as a general proposition, employers may require their employees to stay calm and professional in the face of outrageous customer conduct. As the conduct gets more outrageous, or as the occupation gets less and less likely to deal with such events, the proposition gets weaker.
First off, the manager was WAY out of line in yelling at her in front of customers. Even in front of other employees that just is not cool. Ever.
Do I think crying is a call for demotion and being supsended? No, not really. But in this case, this was the second time she was cited for this particular response. Was she counseled the first time it happened? Was she instructed the first time that she would be at risk for reprimands if it happened again?
Again, even if all of the above were true, it still does not make the manager right in what he did. I’m with everyone else in thinking SHE (not you) needs to write a letter to HR with all the details and demand it be placed in her records.
Back when I was managing at McD’s, I was fortunate to have a great group of superiors. They always taught me thatno matter what, the employee had our support, assuming they were in the right. One night I had a drunk lady come through drive thru-she had to wait a couple of minutes, took out her frustrations on the cashier. Catie grinned and held it in at first, finally called me over when she couldnt take anymore. When I walked over and asked if there was a problem, she started screaming.
“Your fat fuck of an employee is incompetent. Where did youfind this fucking moron?”
I calmly asked her to quiet down, she refused. “You’re a fucking moron too. This whole place is run by fucking idiots!”
I pulled my keys out of my pocket, opened the register, and took out her money. “Here’s your $6.43 back, have a good night Ma’am.”
“What are you doing?? Give me my fucking food! I paid for it, you have to serve me you stupid bitch!”
“No, I dont. I gave you your money back. I dont have to let you degrade my employees, I’m refusing you service. You’re more than welcome to come back in the morning and talk to my boss. Have a good night.” And I shut the window in her face.
She never called Janet, but she did come back through sober a few nights later and apologize. Score!
Okay, but after saying that, did he fire you? Did he demote you? Is that even a criticism?
I wasn’t there, and I don’t know either of you, so that line may have been read in a way that differs from the way I imagine. But it sounds like he was offering reassurance. Did you want him to jump over the counter and give the customer a klop in the chops?
I was fired from Denny’s because a customer caused a scene. The link is here (thanks, Opal! Oh, and I was GripGirl for a while on the AOL board…I’m not a plagiarist ;).), but in a nutshell, I said something that a customer took wrong. I tried to apologize, but to my misfortune, a corporate drone was there, harassing a cow-orker. I made an appointment to state my case to another corporate bitch. She agreed to see me at a certain time, and when I’d said my piece, she said, “But Rilch, none of this would be a problem if you hadn’t been arguing with a customer. Here’s your last check. And sign this.” (I didn’t.)
Then there’s Lissa’s story from this thread, which both horrifies and enrages me. She also did nothing that should have escalated the situation, and expressed no emotion except polite fear (this customer was seriously scary), but the manager blamed her for every bit of it, and would have fired her had not a security guard reasoned the manager out of doing so.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think you were treated badly; not by the manager.