I did not know that. My mother has a lot of back problems, and apparently a few years back, this caused some severe pain in her groin, so now, we’re looking at that as a source. Of course, I’m currently so fed up with doctors, that going in for a SEVENTH diagnosis just isn’t on my “Fun things to do today list.” If you know some more information, please, let me know.
I have the same problem with one of my toes. The others are fine except for a tendency to tear easily. I’ve had a podiatrist remove the nails from both big toes but that didn’t help, partly because every Wednesday I had to go to swimming. You see, the summer I had my nails removed was the same year I was a volunteer counselor.
Stupid Navy Doctor Tricks
I had to see the podiatrists while in Great Lakes because of my ingrown nails, blisters, and finally for pain so bad that I couldn’t walk. I still have no idea what caused the pain but it still returns on occasion. All I know is that I couldn’t keep up with formation so I dropped out to return to division. Another recruit saw me limping and flagged down a passing car, which turned out to be driven by the two podiatrists. They had me go for X-rays but evidently couldn’t find the source of the problem so they accused me of faking, saying that I had specifially waited for them to come by and saying that my foot was broken in order to be seen. What a bunch of bull, I didn’t even know somebody was coming because my back was toward them!
I also saw the psychiatrists at Great Lakes twice. Those two idiots must have gotten their diplomas out of Cracker Jack boxes or something! The first time I had a session with them, they had me take a test. One of the questions on the test was “Do you tell lies?” I thought this was a stupid question so I said “No.” Yes, I lied. They had me draw a person and tried to use to say that there’s a thin person in my trying to get out. Excuse me? Did it ever occour to you morons that I don’t know how to draw fat people? Maybe I should have drawn a stick figure? I tried to tell them about my attempted suicide. They thought I was lying. I tried to tell them about attacking my PITA brother with a metal pipe. Again, they thought I was lying. I have since been diagnosed with a form of Major Depression and prior to seeing these two dumbasses I had been diagnosed with an adjustment disorder which I didn’t know about at the time. If I had, they probably would have thought I was lying about that too.
Stupid Dentist Trick**
About five years ago, I chipped an eyetooth while trying to open a small jar. After a few weeks in pain, I decided I had better see a dentist about it. You know what he did? He tried to fill the thing! He had to drill below the gumline in order to do so. Now I have a chipped eyetooth with a filling that still gives me trouble from time to time. I had to change my health provider in January so maybe this time I can get a dentist who can fix what my last one screwed up.
Yes, this is going to be a bit of a hijack.
My brother was really sick for a week or so vomiting all over the place and generally not feeling so hot. The doctors ordered some tests for him, and the letter came back from the hospital about a week and a half later. That is exactly what he had… “campylobacter pylori” or some such. I know it started with “campylobacter” though… my mom still can’t pronounce it!
Aguecheek, I regularly pass by W. 71st and Granville all the time on the bus; it’s a nice neighborhood, I think.
Just thought I’d check in - I’m another one who was prescribed Sulfa and broke out like a mofo. Told my parents only to have BOTH of them say “Hey! I’m allergic to Sulfa!”
Yeah, thanks for the info, guys.
Colin
Stupid school nurse trick:
When I was in 6th grade, I walked into a wall. (stop laughing) I smacked my hand pretty good. My little finger and part of my hand immediately swelled up like a giant purple knockwurst. I showed it to the teacher, and he hollered “Aaargh! Go to the nurse!”
So I went to the nurse, and showed it to her. She looked at it, and told me that it would be “okay by dinnertime.” Then she gave me one of those stupid blue cold packs. She gave those fricking things out for everything! Hit in the eye with a baseball? Here’s a cold-pack. Twisted ankle. Here’s a cold-pack. Severed limb? Here’s a cold pack. Venereal disease? Have a cold pack.
Anyway, my teacher couldn’t believe that she just gave me a cold-pack for my sausage finger, so he sent me back. And she sent me back to class. I went home. When my mother saw it, she screamed and rushed me to the ER.
Of course it was broken in two places (on the joints). So, they splinted me up and made me go to the orthopedist because it was a complicated break. (It healed up just fine)
I went back to the school nurse to tell her of her mis-diagnosis, and she just shrugged her shoulders and tried to give me a cold-pack.
My wife is diabetic, and several years ago lost the toes on her left foot to an infection which grew from a small blister to a purple swelling covering the entire end of her foot in the space of one morning.
Because of this we are understandably paranoid about blisters and sores on her feet. Last year she had a sore which was not healing, despite repeated use of various prescribed antibiotics. Her podiatrist was unable to come up with any explanation for this, even after having the foot x-rayed. On what turned out to be her last visit to him, he was examining her feet and when she asked him how the sore was doing he responded, “It seems to be healing nicely.” She looked down and said, “Doctor, the sore is on my right foot, not my left.”
He was looking at the wrong foot.
We found another podiatrist. He took one look at her foot, felt it carefully and said that she had a bone spur that needed to be removed as soon as possible. Day surgery was scheduled for two weeks later, and she hasn’t had any trouble with her foot since.
I was seriously considering a malpractice suit against her first podiatrist but decided it wasn’t worth the hassle.
Oy, don’t get me started on moron doctors. I’ve met a few, but the one that sticks with me forever is the idiot GP my parents used to take me to.
This thing is minor, I guess: When I was in grade 6 (I was 10 at the time), I got feverish and had spots all over my face and body. The spots were itchy and it was well-known that there was a chicken pox outbreak at my school. So we call in Dr Idiot. He looks at me and tells me I have teenage pimples, then leaves. Did I mention I was 10 and not even approaching puberty yet? Well guess what, it was chicken pox, and I have the scars to prove it!!
Ok, here’s the not-so-minor thing. I was 15 or so, grade 11. My eyes started feeling itchy and kinda burning. At first I didn’t think too much of it, but after leaving it a week or so (by this point, I was not inclined to go see Dr Idiot for anything less than a severed limb, and even then, not always), my eyes had become very sensitive to light, red, weepy, all in all kinda painful and disgusting. He looks at my eyes and declares I have conjunctivitis and gives me goop to stuff into my eyes.
A week goes by and things have gotten much worse. I go back to him (WHY???) and he examines my eyes again and, in the process, dislodges an eyelash which must’ve found its way onto my eyeball. He finds the rogue eyelash, declares it to be the culprit and sends me on my way.
Surprise, surprise, the eyes get worse. I got to a point I couldn’t open my eyes because they were so sensitive to light. My mother (finally) asks him for a referral to an opthalmologist, which he kicks and screams about but she (yay!) put her foot down and insisted. So we got an appointment for the same day (to this day, I don’t know how she wangled that, this guy has a six-month waiting list normally). He took one look at me and went straight into emergency mode.
My right eye was the better of the two, but the left eye was having major troubles. I ended up getting a cortisone injection in my left eye to reduce the swelling. Now, to those of you who’ve never had an injection in your eye, let me tell you these fun but true facts: the anaesthetic does NOTHING to reduce your visual acuity - you can see the needle coming straight at you. No, you cannot blink. No, you cannot look away. No, you cannot move a damn muscle. Yes, you can feel the stuff inflating your eyeball as it’s injected in. No, this does not comfort you in any way. Did I mention I have an irrational fear of needles? Well, I do. This did not help matters.
Anyway. The opth. dude reckoned if I’d left it another day I would’ve been blinded in my left eye. My right eye was not far off. “Iritis” he says, which is just a generic word for “something’s wrong with your eye but we really don’t know quite what”. I was on steroids for 12 months to sort that mess out. Meanwhile, they had no idea what was bringing this problem on, blood test after blood test revealed nothing (apart from highlighting the fact that I have a problem with needles).
Fast forward a few years, I notice a new lump in my face. I say “new” because there was one that made itself known when I was around 11 or so, on my jawline (it’s about an inch long now). No, you sickos, it’s not like the hunchback of notredame or anything - you can’t see it; it’s under the skin. Anyway, this new lump is under my right ear. I go to the doc (not Dr Idiot) and he says, gee I don’t know what it is, if it grows any, come back. It didn’t grow (much), so I thought not much else of it.
Fast forward a few more years, I start getting spots in my vision (they’re called floaters). Oh yay, thinks I, yet another eye problem, just what I need. Get referral to opth-dude (the original opth-dude’s son, as it happens). By some miracle, get a same-day appointment. He looks at it and goes hmmmmmmm, this is very unusual. Do you have any lumps? Why yes, I have two in my face. Hmm, he says, I think you have sarcoidosis (http://www.lungnet.org.au/sarcoidosis-health.html). Ok, so what’s that? Oh, it’s an immune disease, we don’t know what causes it, or really how to cure it, we can treat it symptomatically though. Oh goody. Meanwhile, there’s no point trying to treat the floaters, they’ll come and go. If I get shortness of breath, X-rays will confirm if there are growths in my lungs and we can nuke it with steroids.
Now, I know it’s a little-known, somewhat rare disease… but geesh, it took almost 10 years from when it originally presented itself to reaching something approximating a diagnosis. The opth-dudes I have a lot of respect for; they saved my sight and can at least tell me why I’m having problems. As for Dr Idiot - he can be glad I don’t sue his incompetent, arrogant arse. He almost cost me my sight :mad:
Anyway - there’s my (long) doctor sob story.
Max 
Okay, I’ve got one that always has confounded me, so I’m hoping that someone in the medical profession can maybe shed a little light.
True, embarassing story!
I was a freshman in college and had strep throat. I went to the infirmary at the university since I had a very high fever, I just felt awful. The female doctor examined my throat and then asked me to remove my pants for an anal exam. In my feverish state, I tried to get her to explain to me why this was necessary, but she never could tell me why she wanted to do it.
me: “but, I have strep throat”
her: “I’m going to have to write down you refused the anal exam.”
me: “okay.”
Does this make sense to anyone? I’ve always been completely perplexed by the entire experience (and a little embarassed).
Quote" The female doctor examined my throat and then asked me to remove my pants for an anal exam. " End Quote
Ummm, that sounds very WEIRD to me. Considering I have had about every ear, nose throat and sinus infection known to western medicine, and I have never ever had an anal exam to “verify” anything.
If that happens when you are univeristy you can report it to some sort of ombudsperson’s office, and I would.
(If only to hear some sort of justification for looking at the problem from the wrong end)
Stupid dentist story, but still a “doctor” in the remotest technical sense of the word…
I had jaw surgery which involved permanently removing a couple of molars, and I needed to go to a dentist for the cosmetic repair (permanent implant).
First visit…after telling him about my need for an implant (and after all of the pre-consultations between my surgeon’s office and the dentist’s), the guy said “Hmm. lets take a look” and proceeded to give me nothing more than a tooth cleaning, then sent me home.
Second visit…after my surgeon yelled at the dentist, I arrive ready to get fitted and installed with my implant. Dentist says, “I’m sorry, all of the parts were backordered, you’ll have to come back in 4 weeks. We can clean your teeth while your here…” Cancel my damn appt and call me beforehand you quack!
Third visit…I arrive to “Hmmm, I’m sorry, but we ordered the wrong model number for your implant, it’ll be 4 more weeks. As long as your here, lets clean your teeth…”
Fourth visit…“We’re finally ready for you, sorry about all that…let’s take a look…” Much shuffling in and out of the room and muttering with assistants “Umm…we mismatched your tooth color, we have to grind up a new implant tooth. Can you come back next week? Meanwhile, my asst will be in for your cleaning…”
Fifth visit…This is honestly true. The guy opens up a UPS stamped box, pulls out a baggy filled with little parts, arranges them on the table, then unfolds the instructions and starts to read them right there in front of me! I was reading over his shoulder and noticed he was pre-assembling all of the little screws and collars and washers out of order, and I had to correct him and step him through the instructions! Keee-rist! After ME showing HIM how to put the implant in, I finally escaped with my new tooth. Mercifully I didn’t have to sit through another cleaning.
The denoument to all of this…2 years later my implant wiggled loose and fell out. I went to try and get it re-installed only to have my (thankfully) new dentist reveal to me that shortly after my original visits, the vendor that makes the implant had gone out of business and no longer makes the parts.
Here I sit, $5000 dollars and 3 years of visits later, with an empty teflon/titanium socket in my jaw.
Boy my teeth sparkle though!
Please excuse my shoddy misuse of “your” vs “you’re”, when typing fast their the first thing to go…
Thanks for the medical professional response, Juliefoolie.
This bizarre event actually happened back in the fall of 87, it was always a mystery to me. The high fever and surrealness of the situation gave it a very dreamlike quality and I always wondered if were just being particularly stubborn about a common medical practice.
Until the beauty of the Straight Dope, I never had anyone to ask!
Having had four kids who at various times during their childhoods needed some medical expertise, I have a plethora of stupid doctor stories.
Like the one when I took kid to hospital with a suspected broken arm (he was dancing and a wardrobe fell on top of him!). He was examined by the paediatrician and the paediatric registrar, X-rayed, and they pronounced a clean break near the elbow. He was duly plastered up (much to his delight) and sent home to recover. Three days later I got a call from the radiographer who was concerned about the X-rays. Turns out that the ‘fracture’ was in fact a ‘growth plate’ (a gap in the bone to allow for future development!!)
Or the one after my 14 year old daughter had a serious car accident when her pelvis was smashed into little bits. She had spent a couple of months in hospital and rehab, following surgery to pin the bones back together with external fixateurs. At the end of her ‘recovery’ she complained about severe pain in her leg (mainly around the pin sites) but the medico’s decided she was being a hypochondriac. They prescribed relaxation exercises and counselling for the pain, and totally refused to make any further enquiries.
Well, to cut a very long story short, they readmitted her into hospital for ‘observation’, and at the end agreed to do some tests (this is after 6 DAYS mind you). She had an ultrasound of the hip, and when the scanner was pressed against her thigh, it ERUPTED with a gallon of green pus. Ya should’ve seen the face of the technician when THAT happened!! Yep, she had septic arthritis, osteomyelitis and needed to have four more operations in the next five days to clean out the muck, and on IV antibiotics for six weeks. She’s twenty now, and still has repercussions from that fuck-up!!
Or when I went to my local GP to enquire about an appetite stimulant (I was really skinny and wanted to put on weight) and he said that he could only suggest amphetamines, but that they were illegal. I had to explain to HIM that amphetamines are generally regarded as appetite SUPPRESSANTS.
I could go on, but I won’t.
I was being a typical stupid young teenager, jumping a three wheeler over a dirt ridge. There was a fence not too far after the ridge, though, and when I tried to turn to avoid hitting it, I rolled the 3-wheeler. The bar on the left that you put your foot on impacted my ankle, which hurt like hell.
I rolled it back upright, picked the bits of grass off it (I wasn’t supposed to be doing this), restarted it, and rode it to where it was supposed to be. I hopped to the house and called my mom.
We went to the emergency room, where they made me wait for the standard forever. They x-rayed it, said it was fine, and sent me home.
Three weeks later, when I still couldn’t put any weight on it at all, we went back. We managed to find a competent doctor who pressed my ankle in a couple places, asked me if it hurt, and pronounced it borken. It was broken at the growth plate, so the dark line of the break wasn’t easily visible on the dark line of the growth plate, but that didn’t mean the previous doctors were any less incompetent.
It turned out that the guy who put the cast on was a moron too. Somehow he managed to make it so that when the cast finally came off, it left a heavily bruised, impacted area about 4 inches wide and 2 inches tall on the back of my leg; about half an inch indented from the normal level of the skin. Took months for it to heal.
At least no one tried to give me an anal exam, though…
Well, let’s see…For two decages now I have had two potentially deadly chronic diseases, and for a decade I have had a third chronic disease that probably will shorten my life, plus several chronic conditions that although are not life threatening, require periodic medical intervention. So I have probably seen more doctors than all of y’all put together. I have so many stupid doctor tricks I couldn’t possibly name even a fraction of them here. So, I’m going to turn the tables and list the intelligent, highly competent phsycians I have had the pleasure of dealing with in the last twenty or so years:
There, I think that’s all of them.
Incidentally, Sexy Writer, dentists, podiatrists, chirpractors, veterinarians, psychologists, etc. are in fact doctors; but, they are not physicians.
Shortly after I got married, I noticed that occaisonally when I squeezed my niples, a few small drops of greenish fluid comes out. As I did not have medical insurance, I looked up what could cause it and found that it was likely just a bit of milk. Not much to worry about. It was probably triggered by my new hubbies favorite past time.
Several months after, I had a painful lump in my left breast. It was huge, about the size of my entire index finger and very tender. I scheduled a trip to the gynecologist. I was quite sure this was new because I was fastidious about regular self breast exams. When I got there the nurse gave me a square of cloth not big enough to cover my breasts and told me to take my bra and shirt off and I could shield myself with the cloth. She leaves, I take a look at the tiny cloth and set it down and removed my shirt and bra. The doc walks in and is aghast. She snaps at me to cover myself. I had a very I hold the cloth in front of one breast and explain about the lump. I mention the discharge in response to one of the questions that she asked, obviously from memorized. She seemed to have a script memorized. I tell her that is not what I am worried about. She feels my breast , with a frown of disgust like it was a large lump of fecal matter. She tells me that I have no lump in my breast and no discharge. She says that I should however have my breast reduced for cosmetic reasons adn that she is more than willing to fill out any paper workd to make sure insurance pays for it. I tell her that I don’t need my breasts removed, I just want to know about the lump. She says that I am obsecssed with my breasts and should have them reduced. She tries to persuade me by saying that I would probably go down at least 2 dress sizes. I leave in disgust. Three days later the lump bursts. It was an abcess. Fortunately it healed well.
My own stupid doctor trick had devastating consequences.
I delivered my first baby at a military hospital. Mistake number one: The people at the hospital lied to me. As a civilian, I could’ve chosen to seek care in the civilian community, which I should’ve done.
During the pregnancy, I got prenatal care from just about every doctor at the OB clinic. I never got the same information twice about anything. I mean, I know stuff changes, but c’mon. One month, I’ve gained the right amount of weight, and the previous month, I’ve gained too much?
The actual delivery was a clusterf*ck. There were numerous mistakes made. I was passed off from shift to shift and left alone without being checked for several hours at a stretch. Finally, after at least 2 hours of being in second-stage (i.e., pushable) labor, I was examined, told I was in second-stage labor, and was able to start pushing. In the delivery room, the intern was instructed to use a vacuum-extraction machine. Fine, it’s accepted practice, but my delivery fell so far outside the guidelines that the manufacturer’s rep wanted to schedule additional training for this hospital, she was so horrified.
It turned out that the baby had picked up Group B Strep, a bacteria common in the birth canal, and for whatever reason, this information was not shared with me or the baby’s father. Because we had no clue what was going on, there was no way we could inform the baby’s pediatrician what was going on, not that it mattered, because she wasn’t interested anyway.
Because of the untreated GBS infection, the baby contracted a massive brain infection and died at 39 days old. Several medical malpractice lawyers looked at the records, told us we had an excellent case and refused to take it because it was a military hospital in a military town. And because I had contracted a related infection from the same bacteria, there was some doubt that I’d ever be able to conceive and carry another baby.
Let me just say for the record that I have received excellent care at times from military physicians and physician assistants. I owe my kidneys and possibly my life to a very astute physician assistant who caught a kidney infection when a doctor wanted to discharge me for back problems. However, I’ve also learned that the military can be a haven for those who can’t find employment in the civilian sector, for whatever reason.
So, for those who may whine that all I talk about is my pregnancy, consider what I’ve been through already.
Robin
I think your doc was the one with the breast fixation.
Another stupid doctor story…and possible TMI
I have endometriosis. It’s a lovely chronic condition where the material that normally forms in the uterus during menstruation forms outside the uterus on the other internal organs. It causes a lot of pain.
I had a HMO and the doctor in question was an idiot. His way of treating the endo was to prescribe painkillers. Great, I’m not in pain but I still have this stuff building up.
So one day I cannot pee. Oh, I have to but I can’t. My bladder is cramping and I am in major pain. I end up in the ER having to be catherized. I had a laproscomy to clear the tissue of my bladder that night. It had built up to the point that it was compressing my urethra. Being diabetic, I could have suffered kidney damage.
I left the doctor that day and until I could switch insurance, paid my doctor bills out of pocket.