Stupid Examples of Misogyny

I grew up in a conservative Mormon family in the 60s and 70s and wouldn’t be able to even begin to start. Mormonism hardly has a monopoly on misogyny as pretty much most conservative religions all seem to be bad, but there were a number that stand out.

In the Mormon temple ceremony, men would covenant directly with God for their salvation, but women needed to promise to obey their husbands. Men would be lifted up from the grave by the power of God, but then women had to be called by their husbands. And yes, this led to really icky situations with abusive men.

This is odd because having lived in Japan for a total of 20 plus years, I would get the opposite reaction, of sales people staring at anyone Asian I would be with, despite me talking to the sales person in fluent Japanese. This was constant, even when buying computers or cars.

Japan does have plenty of misogyny. I remember one of my bosses dismissing something as “women’s work” and telling me to not be concerned about that.

Japan is decades behind the West in women’s rights. There are simply too many things to mention.

This was within the last 5 years but another car sales one - the salesman (yes, man) ‘corrected’ the paperwork of some friends of mine before sending it to Finance because they clearly switched their incomes. I mean, there was no way her income was so much higher than his, right?

I am not saying we should refrain from criticism of Middle Eastern misogyny. I am saying that writing off whole cultures is incredibly ignorant, especially when they’re not that far behind us (“behind” as if women’s rights were on a progressive trajectory worldwide, which is obviously not the case, but just reaching for a metaphor.)

Re: banking, I don’t know what the laws were. I only know anecdotes from California in the 70s, where women did not have the ability to buy real estate on their own. But that might have been bank policy rather than law.

Wait, what? Egads.

(raises hand) yep! I remember THAT part!
(deep authoritative narrator voice) “there’s a million and one excuses for not wearing a safety belt…”

That’s true, but that is probably more prejudice against the disabled than misogyny. Whenever I traveled with my father and his wheelchair, sales people and restaurant servers would usually talk to me about stuff concerning him. I found it distinctly weird. I’m not sure what my father thought of it because he didn’t like to discuss ANYTHING about his disability. I think he was ashamed of it, poor guy.

I never realized that the voiceover is Jack Webb!

A few years back, my gf wanted to remodel our kitchen and her bathroom. She spent months researching what she wanted to do and learning the names of things so she could discuss the remodel with the contractors. I had no interest in the project, so I just ignored all that was going on.

Still, the contractor overseeing the project would approach me with questions. I’d listen politely, then tell him I didn’t have a fucking clue what he was talking about, nor did I care. I actually got kind of rude. I’d direct him to my gf who was right in the other room.

Our friends/neighbors have a farm, a huge apple orchard and a farm market. He runs the farm. She runs the store.

The store buys a lot of stuff from local Amish for repackaging (bulk items) and resale. The Amish men who come to take her orders are very uncomfortable dealing with a woman. It has improved a bit over the decades, but initially they would just ask to speak to her husband. She played along, calling him on his cellphone. He’d come to the market and explain that he had no idea what they were talking about, his wife ran the store.

They have gotten better, but still do not make eye contact.

A non-Amish friend of mine who grew up in Amish country said Amish men value their sons, their cattle and then their wives and daughters, in that order.

I don’t know much about Middle Eastern fashions, but Western women’s shoes certainly are. Men are never expected to wear shoes that put them off balance, or hurt their feet. I have had jobs which required me to wear heels in the office unless I had a doctor’s excuse. Spoiler: Every podiatrist will give any woman a written excuse not to wear heels. They are bad for your feet!

Mind you, as a former ballerina I liked wearing them. But most of my coworkers had to switch shoes for their commute, and as I aged eventually I did too. I can’t think of a single man who ever had to switch shoes unless he was going running.

And yes. In a society where a woman cannot walk the street without a male escort, go to school without a male relative’s permission, or even receive emergency medical treatment without the permission of her husband? Misogyny permeates.

But it’s important to understand that this did not come from Arab culture, but from the Ottomans. It is referred to as the “Patriarchal Bargain.”

I was about 10 years old back in the early seventies when my mom was upset that she couldn’t have a credit card in her name. Never mind that she was a registered nurse and had her own money, my dad had to add mom as a dependent on his credit card who was authorized to use it. That was a big eye-opener for my mom who previously didn’t express an opinion about other examples of misogyny.

As an undergraduate, I minored in anthropology, and many of my courses touched on the Middle East. One of my classes was invited to a mosque, and of the approximate dozen students who went, I was the only man. I was given preferrential treatment the entire evening. When we sat at the mosque for a discussion, I was seated in the front, all by myself practially at the feet of the imam, while the rest of the our group, all women, sat far behind me, I was the only person they proselytized to, and during dinner I was served first. It was interesting.

We were told to dress modestly, jeans were fine for all, but make sure nothing was too revealing. One of the young ladies, a particularly well endowed woman, wore a very tight shirt revealing a generous amount of cleavage. The professor gave her some sort of shawl to wear over it while we were at the mosque. I don’t know if that rises to the level of misogyny, but I have to admit that I thought the shirt was a bit much for a church.

That’s 6-700 years ago. It’s part of Arab culture now.

Huh, when I visited a mosque as part of a college comparative religions class, the genders were separated by side (IIRC, women on the left and men on the right), but I don’t recall any way in which the men were given greater precedence or respect.

Though I imagine that this sort of thing might vary considerably from one congregation to another, or from one imam to another.

There’s a whole, very long thread about this kind of nonsense that, sadly, is well within living memory: “In the dustbin of our cultural history”.

This division has not only applied to Islam. When my maternal grandfather was young the church his family belonged to was very conservative. Men sat on one side, women on the other. This was in the country, they were German Lutherans. My grandfather’s family thought this custom was foolish but they knew if they brought this issue up in meetings there would be a huge brou ha ha. So without asking their men simply started sitting with the women of the family, and when everybody saw the sky didn’t fall that was that, and families sat together.

I saw this custom practiced at a Serbian Orthodox church in Toronto. I don’t know exactly how widespread this is, I can only say in general that this is not a universal custom within the Orthodox Church, and it’s possible that they were actually following a local custom from somewhere in some part of Serbia or Bosnia or what have you. The practice was respected by those present - I think it was justified using the argument that the proximity of the opposite sex should not distract one from one’s prayers.

I know a gentleman who was a Lutheran chaplain for many years, and was a West Point grad, and he was born Serbian Orthodox. I should ask him about this.

This is a video of the church he grew up at, that was burned in 2016.

Women touring a Greek Orthodox Monastery my wife and I visited while in Cyprus required all women with skirts above their knees to wear a purple robe throughout the tour. This was intended to preserve modesty and show respect.

Annd…I had to wear one, too, because my shorts didn’t reach my knees. Of course, I’m 6’2" tall and the robes intended for use by vertically-challenged Greek women hardly reached past my crotch. But it met the rules and the guards at the gate were happy for me to pass through wearing one. So…maybe not misogynism after all.