Stupid highway signs

[Quondam_Mechanic]

@thorny_locust

There’s a short stretch on the road along the way to my sister’s where the signs say (can’t think of the route numbers right now)

North Rt XXX
South Rt YYY.

To further confuse matters, on that bit of road you’re actually heading pretty much due west (or east, as the case may be.)

What’s going on, of course, is that Route YYY is crossing Route XXX, but in the process the two run for a couple of miles together along the same road.

– I always wanted to get a picture of that, but I’m usually the only one in the car, and it’s a limited-access highway with traffic so not a good idea to stop and take pictures.
One of the libraries around here used to have a parking lot sign telling you to head around the parking lot in one direction, which was expressed as three arrows chasing each other in a circle. I never got a picture of that one either, and they’ve modified the parking lot; the sign’s no longer there.

Take a look at Cape Code near Provincetown and try to figure which way Route 6 is going…

[MarvinKitFox]

@Sicks_Ate

In my last neighborhood there were signs that said “Speed Hump Ahead.”

So when my wife and I would be out walking or running, if I saw one I’d yell “SPEED HUUUUUMMMMPP!!” and hump her leg like a methed-up schnauzer.

She mostly didn’t think it was funny.

Well of course she was not amused. You were disregarding the sign!

It clearly says “Speed Hump A Head”, and here you are speed-humping a leg.

[MikeF]

I’m with wolfpup on the 4 way stop thing. I’m stopping, regardless of what cross traffic is doing. A quick glance will tell me if the oncoming car also has a stop sign and I can proceed without getting t-boned. Hopefully.

[bizerta]

While visiting a friend on the west coast, we drove over a bridge with the sign, “LA RIVER”. I thought it was French until my host told me it was the Los Angeles River.

[Shoeless]

@cochrane

Signs like that are pretty common near prisons. There are signs like that near the state prison here in Tucson along I-10. Escaping prisoners have been known to carjack people in an attempt to get as far away as possible.

There is a “Do not stop for hitchhikers” sign on I-80 just east of Des Moines IA. And then about a half mile further down the road is a rest area. :smack:

[Spiderman]

@Jackmannii

The following applies to I-75, a road I have traveled all too often in the past year.

On some of the entrance ramps, there are signs listing various vehicles and items which are prohibited on the interstate. One of these is “Animals On Foot”.

It makes me wonder: are wandering cows really smart enough to read the sign and know they’re not supposed to merge onto the highway? Was there ever a plague of simple country folk leading their livestock into high-speed traffic? Maybe some genius hoped that deer would take the hint and stop darting into the road.

Apparently not, & this one merged onto two highways; for which he was immediately convicted & sentenced to the death penalty (by firing squad) & executed, before even getting the opportunity to request counsel. :eek:

@VOW

And here I thought it meant that the cows had to ride bicycles. Oh, wait, bicycles are not permitted on freeways. Get out the Harley, Elsie!

(That sounds suspiciously like a Far Side Cartoon…)

What if it was a HarleyCow?
What if it was a HarleyCow named Bessie?
What if it was a HarleyCow named Bessie owned by a (deceased :() Doper?
What if it was a HarleyCow named Bessie owned by a (deceased :() Doper & possibly for sale? (Ask the Old Wench)
Let’s not forget the No Dancing sign. Of course he’s not going dancing, or even crossing the street to get to the dance, mainly because he has no feet (or hands). :eek:

[Catamount]

@bizerta

While visiting a friend on the west coast, we drove over a bridge with the sign, “LA RIVER”. I thought it was French until my host told me it was the Los Angeles River.

That reminds me of the time my friends and I were driving down a highway in California and passed a sign for the town of Los Baños. We nearly drove off the road, we were laughing so hard.

[Absolute]

I’ve always been a fan of “Gusty winds may exist.”

[Balthisar]

@Senegoid

Those flashing left-turn arrows are a relatively new-ish convention in America, and not very widespread that I know of. I wouldn’t bet that they are widely known by a lot of American drivers. I don’t know of them anywhere in California, but I see them in Nevada.

They replace the flashing red (no arrow). We still have quite a few of those. They mean the same thing with one important difference: you have to come to a complete stop for the flashing red (no arrow); you only have to yield for the arrow.

[Sunspace]

@Catamount

That reminds me of the time my friends and I were driving down a highway in California and passed a sign for the town of Los Baños. We nearly drove off the road, we were laughing so hard.

If it’s the one in the Central Valley, I’ve been through there on the way back from Yosemite. I wondered about the name too. But then I remembered that there is a town called Bath in Prince Edward County, Ontario, on Highway 33; and the last time I went through it, I saw the Bath Water Filtration Plant on the main road.

[carnut]

@WildaBeast

I once saw a sign on a rural Wisconsin road that read “Trucks Hauling”. What else would trucks be doing?

That’s just what they say. What they mean is “Do not follow to closely or harrass the truck to speed up or it will dump it’s load on you”. At least, I think that’s what it means.:dubious:

[Senegoid]

@Sunspace

If it’s the one in the Central Valley, I’ve been through there on the way back from Yosemite. I wondered about the name too. But then I remembered that there is a town called Bath in Prince Edward County, Ontario, on Highway 33; and the last time I went through it, I saw the Bath Water Filtration Plant on the main road.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Los Banos in California. Interesting coincidence there: It’s also on CA State Route 33. I live close enough to there that I go shopping there sometimes.

Note that California officially does not use any accent marks, tildes, or other diacritical marks in any of its signage. You might see it written Los Baños unofficially, but on any official Ca signage it’s just Los Banos. (I’ve never thought to ask any of the locals there how they pronounce it.) The city itself might promote the ñ spelling perhaps.

[dalej42]

@Gatopescado

Somewhere, in the middle of Bum-Fuck Utah, about 40 miles East of the last town I went through was a sign that read “No Services next 25 miles”.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to move that sing 40 west and make it say “No Services next 65 miles”?

I assume there used to be a gas station around that area that had closed. I know I’ve seen some conflicting no services for X miles driving in remote areas out west

[Bullitt]

STREET NOT THROUGH
Those signs are in and around St. Louis.

[Lord_Feldon]

@Balthisar

They replace the flashing red (no arrow). We still have quite a few of those.

I think that was just a weird thing Michigan did. In other places they just replace/supplement the regular green light phase.

[Catamount]

@Senegoid

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Los Banos in California. Interesting coincidence there: It’s also on CA State Route 33. I live close enough to there that I go shopping there sometimes.

Note that California officially does not use any accent marks, tildes, or other diacritical marks in any of its signage. You might see it written Los Baños unofficially, but on any official Ca signage it’s just Los Banos. (I’ve never thought to ask any of the locals there how they pronounce it.) The city itself might promote the ñ spelling perhaps.

I couldn’t remember if there was a tilde or not. I was laughing too hard to notice.

We were on the highway between Santa Barbara and San Diego if that narrows it down. Might have been Rt 33, I’m not sure. I refuse to drive in California so I wasn’t paying attention to the road.

[aruvqan]

I have been going back and forth from my NY house to my CT house for medical fu - I do not want to change my oncology team in midtreatment. I keep seeing signs “Automatic Tolling” obviously for those people who do not have transponders, but I wistfully think about them getting emails demanding wither a goat or a gold piece for going over whichever bridge it is over the Hudson River =) I was very tired the first time I saw the sigh and thought it said trolling =)

And way back the first time I ever drove through Reno with mrAru, it was very late and we were looking for our hotel and I saw a sign that I swear said “Loosest Progressive Sluts” and I was baffled … I figured it had something to do with legal prostitution? So I asked mrAru and we slowed down so I could see it said ‘slots’.

[JRDelirious]

I can imagine some business in Nevada that *would *want to advertise the Loosest Progressive Sluts… “That’s GOLD, Jerry!”

@FairyChatMom

Eons ago on the Baltimore Beltway, there was a sign reading “Future Exit” - but it’s not like there was something there that looked like an exit that wasn’t. Best guess - they had enough money to erect the sign, figuring in the future, they’d correct it? No clue…

Maybe part of the same program that gave y’all the on-ramp-from-midair that stood on I-95 South for a couple of decades. Apparently the original plans to run a whole bunch more Interstates across the region than ended up being needed (in places other than where they DID end up needed) got far enough that quite a few interchanges and overpasses had the future exists designed in to a greater or lesser extent.