Stupid Instruction Manual

I’m setting up the DVD portion of my Playstation 2. I’m reading the instruction manual that says:

The instruction manual I am reading instructs me to confirm that I have the instruction manual that I am reading! It’s right here in my frickin’ hand!


Well, either whoever wrote that was an idiot, or rather clever and decided they could have some fun with it. Just think how many people will be looking all over for the instruction manual while it’s in their hand because the booklet says they need it!

Yeah… who writes this stuff.

Feel free to contribute similar stories here…

This sort of documentation is often written to be used in multiple ways. The list of items included in the box could be printed on the outside of the box, on the packing slip, or on the company’s website. It’s easier to have a redundancy than to write separate schtick for each location.

At least it didn’t say “batteries not included” elsewhere in the manual.

Be happy that it is not written in poorly translated Asian language such that an instruction would read:

Into relieved space accomodating for battery with other, be sure polarity is rightly put before cover is make closed with snap.

I always loved those manuals.

Anybody remember the episode of “Cheers” where Woody is trying to play the videotape that contains the instructions on how to hook up the VCR, and the rest of the bar takes bets on how long it will take him to figure the problem out?

On bottom of yogurt pot:

‘Please keep this side down’


I read or heard something the other day about someone suing the manufacturer of her microwave oven because it didn’t say in the manual that she shouldn’t dry her poodle in it.

Forget about the above post. I should have googled first and kept in mind that it was a journalist that had said it (or written it).

Bah, instruction manuals are for wimps…I say jam things together and see the sparks fly! :smiley:

For electrical equipment I rarely used those manuals. I mean, hooking up a DVD player or a 5.1 THX surround sound system is simple. I always use instruction manuals for my video games though.

I quit a job at a (now failing) small networking company when they told me to write the user manual for the new product, and then got mad a me when I wrote it in a manner that didn’t sound like stilted, poorly translated 2nd language English.

“We want the book to sound like our competitors’ manuals!”
“Our competitors’ manuals suck and are really complicated.”
[Blank stare.] “We want the book to sound like our competitors’ manuals!”

The manual was “written” by a newbie out of college (actually, all she did was copile the crappy notes from the non-english speaking engineering team) and I departed 1 week later.

There’s a good reason to have it marked that way on boxes - you can’t see a “This Side Up” marking if it’s upside down. But for yogurt, that’s pretty silly.