Although I’ve never actually seen a Doper mention that he or she uses a wheelchair, I can’t imagine that we don’t have any, so I’ll ask my question here. Disclaimer: I know it’s a dumb and pointless question.
I run a lot. When I’m out running and pass a person in a wheelchair, I get this unpleasant feeling that I’m showing off, or teasing. “Ha ha, you can’t do this” sort of thing. I get the notion that I should run somewhere else, change the route when I see a wheelchair and so on. Every clever atom in my brain is telling me that this is stupid and that no sensible person would be bothered by someone just running past, but I cannot shake the feeling, so I’m putting the question to any and all Dopers in wheelchairs.
This doesn’t ever bother you, right? It’s just my brain playing dumb tricks, right?
I used to work in a disabilities service office on a college campus. I knew a lot of wheelchair bound people over that time, mostly with spinal cord injuries.
Other than their disability there is nothing universal about this group of people. Something which some of them mentioned to me included: people being overly helpful, people not giving them space to get by, people making parking and getting in and out of their vehicles hard, and people using the disabled restroom stall when others were available. Sometimes people would stare.
Basically though, there was no single thing that always annoyed all of them, except for the parking thing, and I really don’t remember any of our students complaining much.
No one ever mentioned runners, but I bet if you obviously attempt to avoid running by someone in a chair, that might be annoying.
I can’t really claim to speak authoritatively on the subject, as I use a wheelchair very rarely (basically, when I go somewhere that involves a lot of standing and walking around, like a museum or the airport), but it never occurred to me to resent or be annoyed by people running or otherwise “showing off” their healthy capable legs. The only possible exception would be if someone was doing ballet in front of me, which would make me quite sad as I love to dance, but I still wouldn’t find it annoying or in any way reflecting badly on the dancer.
And **bannerrefugee **is correct, it would rather annoy me to see people trying not to in front of me, because I’m not that overly sensitive or fragile about it. I have had only good experiences for the most part - people are a lot nicer, I find - but sometimes I detect in people’s attitudes a bit of condescension, as though because I’m basically a child’s height I should be treated like one. Wheelchair or not, I’m a capable adult, and adults don’t need to be coddled.
So in a nutshell, I would say go ahead and run. Please don’t think I’m berating you - it’s a kind, thoughtful impulse on your part, just one that, like your brain says, is not necessary. To me, anyway.
Doesn’t bother me in the slightest, and I’m paraplegic. Think of it this way, assuming you aren’t an athlete yourself, do you get depressed when you see an athlete “showing off” by doing things you can’t possibly do?
I don’t use a wheelchair, but my daughter does (or sometimes a scooter, or crutches). I was just on the phone with her and I read her your post.
She goes to school on a campus where a lot of runners use the same paths she uses to get to class. She says it doesn’t ever bother her at all and it’s just your brain playing dumb tricks.
I have a good friend who is in a chair. Here is my favorite Andy story. One night when we were out and about, an older lady came up to us. She was obviously wealthy and more than slightly plump, she looked like she should be carrying a nasty, spoiled yorkie or poodle IYKWIM. She saw Andy and said to him (IDK why) “Young man, you do so well with being physically challenged”. I am pretty sure she THOUGHT she was being all open minded and shit, but she came off condescending as all hell. Andy cocked his head, looked up at her, grinned this huge grin and said “Lady, I’m not physically challenged, I’m a fucking cripple!” She looked like she had just swallowed a lemon, and I promptly fell down laughing so hard I spit out my spleen. Seriously. It’s the only time in my life I have literally laughed so hard I fell down.
Second story
When I was in college, I had a friend who told me she had a friend visiting from out of town. Homecoming was that weekend, would I mind taking her friend to the dance? I said sure. Her friend had CP, she was in a chair. We went to the dance and had a great time (even though she kept running over my feet when we danced). She was a real nice girl. We wound up back at my apartment, and this girl spent the entire night fucking my brains out. We must have done it a dozen times, every half hour or so she was on me again, it got to the point that I wasn’t just shooting blanks, I was writing checks against my fertility for weeks to come. I finally asked her “Not that I’m complaining, but what is it about me that turns you on so much?” She said “Dave, of all the people I’ve ever known, you’re the only one who doesn’t see my wheelchair”.
People in wheelchairs are just people, like everyone else. The chair doesn’t define who they are. You can run, they can’t? So what? My money would be on them in a race downhill.
My mom’s in a chair pretty much full-time now, and none of this bothers her very much. Her one problem is with people who take the handicapped parking spaces.
I used to work with folks who used wheelchairs. They never expressed offense, just a kind of wisful “gee, look at those people taking walking/running/their legs for granted.” Of course, they then acknowledged that they used to do that, too.
In my experience – not a chair user, but disabled – often people who change their behavior around somebody who is disabled because they want to be extra-sure they are being nice come off as jerks, because they aren’t actually treating said person like anybody else, they are treating them differently.
I can’t run for any distance at all. It never in a million years has occurred to me to be offended by somebody who can. Nor am I offended that most people are far taller than me and can reach things I can’t. A little bit jealous? Rarely. It doesn’t make any sense to be offended, though, or I’d be walking around constantly pissed.
