I once turned down perfectly nice girl (who REALLY liked me) because she had really short hair. Like, 1/2". Shallow? Yes. But dammit, I like girls with soft hair, even if it’s kinda short; at that length, though, cuddling her was like cuddling a stiff-bristled brush. I just couldn’t enjoy it.
Granted, you may still be an idiot, but at least you’re not the only one. I wouldn’t go for a girl with dreads either - again, not soft or cuddly.
You’d might be an idiot if you slept with her already knowing you don’t dig the dreads, and then vanish from her radar after leading her on using the dreads as a reason. I’d catalogue you as an idiot for sleeping with someone just to prove to others (or yourself) that you aren’t superficial.
IMO anything that turns you off from the beginning is a good reason to not get the ball rolling. We select our partners (short term or long term) based on different criteria, but regardless, we are discriminating in our selection - otherwise we would just get it on with the first person we encounter and stick with them for life (and so much for what constitutes our concept of “good taste”).
I have turned down sex and/or relationships for a million reasons (all of them, valid IMO):
Call me shallow but, I don’t approach/get involved/sleep with women who I find an issue with. Best is to leave them to guys who actually like everything they are looking at and listening to.
There are scars and than there are Scars; I’m guessing yours isn’t a scalded mouth or a gouged-out eye.
Dreadlocks can be cut off and the hair treated, they are a fashion choice that can be changed, not a physical feature people have to live with.
Dumping a girl because she prefers the Who to the Stones is superficial. Dumping a girl because she prefers the Kottonmouth Kings to… well… anything, is just plain good judgment.
I did a 180 on this girl whom I first met on a train. At that meeting she was groomed nicely, a real looker. When I came to her house to pick her up, she comes out wearing a well worn blue jeans skirt, t-shirt, and those cheap rubber sole slippers that one wears pool side, I think they’re called flip-flops. Her feet are dirty. I couldn’t wait for dinner to end.
I was ditched at a Halloween party. I was wearing a cheap curly blond wig as part of my “General Custer”/F-Troop costume. I start rapping with this girl. We talk for about an hour straight and she’s making overtures. I was overheating from the costume and took off my hat and wig. I do have blond hair but it is not curly. She practically screams “That’s a wig?”. She’s gone in 2 minutes. Now this wig did not look realistic in any way, shape, or form. I told myself that she had to have been trashed to believe that was real hair. Harpo Marx had more realistic looking hair.
I turned down a guy with asthma.
Very smart guy. Kind. Similar life goals. Physically not terribly attractive, but I don’t always go for physically attractive. Nice eyes. And I really did like the smart.
But the constant wheezing. As his friend it drove me crazy if we went to a movie or something, I can’t imagine sleeping next to it.
I’ve always suspected he thought I turned him down over his looks and thought less of me for it.
Some of these are reasonable. Many of them are ridiculous. You’re shallow and too damn picky.
…and proud. I like, what I like, and I don’t settle for less (meaning, anything different than what I like). I am not saying those women weren’t “good enough” - it is not a put down. It is just a matter of taste. I am sure many women have looked at me and thought a trillion different reasons why I was undateable, unapproachable, or not worthy of sharing a bed.
I’ve heard women say (for example) that they wouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t dance. Is that so terrible? I don’t think so. It is no different than saying you don’t share the same interests, tastes, lifestyles, beliefs, etc. How can anyone criticize other people’s taste in SO’s?
Anybody claiming the contrary I think is either disingenuous, hypocritical, lying through their teeth, or just don’t really care or hold in high regard who they are presently with (which I think takes merit away from your SO).
Nobody could replace my SO, because frankly, I find her to be “perfect” (for me). As I am perfect to her - despite many other women probably finding me to be average or unworthy.
We are all picky in our own ways.
You want stupid and superficial? Here you go.
I was once at a party at a friend’s house at the beach & met this girl, very nice, excellent body, but a total butterface. Like, really unpleasant face- not deformed or anything, but decidedly not attractive. But the girl was really nice. Over the course of the party, I’d be checking out her smokin’ body across the room. She was in short shorts and a bikini top as we had all come right off of the beach to the house.
We kept drifting back to each other & talking, and it was evident that she was extremely interested, and she was progressively getting drunker. She was becoming more touchy-feely, pressing up against me, keeping a hand on me, leaning in to my face much closer than necessary to talk to me.
At one point she invited me to one of the bedrooms downstairs with the explicit intention of letting me use her body for my pleasure. And I turned her down. Why? I was embarrassed at what my friends would think of me for having sex with someone so unattractive.
Here’s the kicker- about a year later my friend started dating her.
I turned down a girl I had been talking to for a couple of months because, once, she struck a pose in just the right light that she looked exactly like my mother, when my mother was twenty.
Done. Over. Never happening, we’re not even friends now. Goodbye.
And another girl I was casually interested in once started bitching about how unfair it was that classes aren’t cancelled for Good Friday. Good Friday? Really? That’s as important to me as Columbus Day.
Dreads would be a no-go for me too.
I have it on the authority of an actual hippie. That settles it.
Hey, if you don’t like dreads, you don’t like dreads. Nothing idiotic about it at all.
For me, it came down to her having an annoying voice. Loud, nasal, and grating. Nice girl, smart and not at all bad-looking, but there was not a doubt in my mind that listening to her call my name over and over in the throes of passion using that voice would have resulted in . . . well, mutual disappointment, if you catch my drift, and I think you do. There’s a reason sexy soundtracks include Barry White and not Barbara Streisand.
He shaved his legs. And no, he wasn’t a swimmer or anything. I just… couldn’t look at him the same way.
This is so wrong on so many levels, obviously your choice to choose who to pair up with , but I would have did the diva thing on the second date, not the first.
Turn in your man card
Declan
Woah there. I never said anything about a “date.” We just happen to run in the same larger social circle.
I got the makeout courtesy of Jameson and my David Bowie Karaoke skills (or lack thereof) while out raising hell with a few Dudes.
The most awkward part has been running in to her girlfriends. They’re all, like, “Hiiiiii, black rabbit.” Total junior high.
I can’t get past this. Even without a bra??? Dude, you prefer breasts in a bra? Bras can be wonderful, but even without a bra?
In response to the OP’s question, the occasion that comes to my mind was what today would be called a FWB that I eventually discontinued the B’s with because her sternum jutted out in an unusual way. She was a wonderful woman, went on to become a fine doctor. Wonderful travel companion, delightful lover, sweet dear friend, but I couldn’t overlook that odd bone shape.
I can’t speak for the OP, but I think you’re misunderstanding. I think what he’s trying to say is that there are many, many bras designed to help all women have nice looking breasts while wearing them. He’s saying that her breasts were even really nice without the help of a bra.
I am a gay man, and one time a guy told me that he thinks I have a nice body but he is really into guys with “washboard abs” and I onlyh have “six pack abs.” But if I ever get to the point where I get “washboard abs” to give him a call.
I am like I work out 5 days a week for for 2 or 3 hours a day to get a SIX PACK and NOW I have to have WASHBOARD abs???
LOL
Dude Dreds can be removed.
and hitting a bald amazon would be hot as hell
almost forgot to post my own,
to young (but legal as opposed to my students with a crush)
to plump
to gaunt
to dumb (see also to young as they are kinda the same category)