Stupid, superficial reasons why you've rejected somebody

In My Humble Opinion
1

And by “rejected,” I mean, “not slept with.”

There’s this girl. She’s punkish. Extremely intelligent. Kind. Funny. Compassionate. Six feet tall. Pretty. Nice nay-nays (even without a bra - she’s punkish, remember?). Great legs. Incredible ass.

A few months ago, we had a drunken make-out session.

I know for a fact that she’s really in to me. As in, her friends told me she’s in to me. Her ex-boyfriend-kinda-hates-my-guts-now she’s in to me.

I went out for a couple of post-homework drinks this evening. I ran in to her. She just got a new tattoo, and was having a couple drinks herself. She was hopped up on endorphins and red wine. Chatty. We talked for a couple of hours. Great conversation. She did the whole use-your-barstool-as-my-footstool-and-casually-press-my-leg-against-yours thing. While we were talking about how we lost our respective virginities.

Did I mention she has nice legs?

I know you’re thinking “Damn the torpedoes, man! Into the breach!”

Here’s the problem: she has dreadlocks. A great, snakey, multi-year-project mound of dreadlocks. Not the neatish kind of dreads that naturally-kiny-haired folk can grow, but the deliberately sloppy-looking kind of dreads that only come from being a fair-and-straight-haired white person with a whole lot of patience and beeswax.

This is, without a doubt, the dumbest reason I have ever had for not having sex and/or a relationship with someone. If she had straight hair, I’d go out with her. If she had short hair, I’d go out with her. If she had a perm or an afro, I’d go out with her. If she shaved her head, I’d at least sleep with her. Whenever I think about sleeping with her and her dreads, I worry about being condemned to serve for eternity aboard the Flying Dutchman.

And I feel like an ass because of it. I mean, I like being her friend. But I know that she wants more. And I’d go for more if it weren’t for her fucking hairstyle.

Gah.

So, in order to make me feel like less of a douche, give me the dumbest reason you have for rejecting somebody who was otherwise great.

Or, feel free to tell me what an idiot I am.

2

You’re an idiot.

Edit: Seriously, man, big fucking deal. Maybe you should ask her why she has dreads. Maybe you’ll learn something.

3

I don’t know–that sounds like a normal reason to me. What can I say? I think washing your hair every day is a prerequisite.

4

Here’s a crazy idea: TALK TO HER.

5

People may say otherwise, but when it comes to sex, humans work on a totally shallow instinctive level. Stupid shallow stuff turns us on, and stupid shallow stuff turns us off.

If you’re not digging the dreads, then you’re not digging the dreads. It would be silly to force yourself to be attracted to her despite that, just for the sake of not being shallow… especially since white-girl dreads are very different from the average haircut in that they’re a conscious choice that requires a fair bit of commitment to create and maintain.

Of course, I once dumped a guy because he got a really really bad haircut. So you may want to take my advice with a grain of salt.

6

There’s no accounting for taste.

However, you’re probably an idiot.

7

No, you’re not an idiot. I’d probably have the same reaction if an otherwise-hot dude had a questionable hairstyle such as a mullet.

I’ve always thought dreadlocks were a turn-off. In college, I used to hang with a “hippie” crowd, and I knew lots of otherwise good-looking guys with dreads. But I was never attracted to any of them, for two reasons: (1) even if the person is otherwise relatively clean and hygienic, dreadlocks have the tendency to have an odor; (2) dreadlocks have a very unpleasant texture - think jute rope. They also don’t look very good either, IMHO.

8

Yeah, you’re an idiot… and you’ll be kicking yourself for not going for the “gold” in years to come.

9

Maybe you’re not an idiot but this is very idiotic.

Over dreadlocks? I’d understand if she had a mustache or some scars but dreads?

If it’s too much of a bonekill then bang the dozen or so other hotties you’d have to have orbiting you to turn down “incredible ass” and “Nice nay nays” over dreadlocks.

10

Way back in 1988 I slept with a guy who had dreadlocks - I woke up with one of them in my mouth.

Trauma doesn’t begin to describe that slow waking up and confusion giving way to horrified realization.

Don’t sleep with her till she shaves her head - and waxes out the roots!

But, having said that, the dreads weren’t the deal-breaker.He was terrible at sex.

11

Scars? Dude, scars happen. They’re generally not a deliberate fashion choice and there’s not a great deal a person can do once one has been acquired. Yes, I have a facial scar, but it doesn’t bother me anymore (it did at first, but I got over it). I never noticed a dearth of suitors and my husband of fifteen years (we met long after I acquired said scar) is okay with it as well. I am, after all, a hottie.

I do recognize that initial physical attraction is a personal and totally superficial thing, but if you are still skeeved out by just a scar after you get to know a person, that is really, really shallow.

12

Dreads can be very hot on a girl. What a shame.

13

Who the hell cares why he isn’t attracted to her? She chooses to have a hairstyle that makes her stand out from the crowd and here’s a reason there’s a commonality for most women’s hairstyles. It’s because they’re considered attractive by the majority. She has to know that some people are looking at her and inwardly rolling their eyes or holding their breath while she prances around with unusual (and possibly stinky) hair.

Now, I can’t stand guys with wimpy girl hands. No man I have ever dated had more slender fingers than I because it grosses me out. Shallow? Yes…and more so than the OP because people don’t have a say in the hands they get. Still a dealbreaker? Yes. Hell, yes. We all have these hangups, whether we’re willing to admit them or not and you’ll probably meet other attractive, intelligent women without dreadlocks.

It makes it hard to say anything because you’re not dating and you don’t really get a say in her hair. You could casually mention how pretty you think she’d look with natural hair, but that doesn’t mean she’ll do a damn thing about it…nor should she be expected to. Now if you had been dating for some time and had built up a comfortable relationship before she got dreads, I can call you a douche, but not for avoiding a relationship with her in the first place.

14

Well, I feel like if it was something like, “I don’t like how her hair looks” it would be one thing. But dreadlocks? Isn’t that kind of like saying, “I like people to wear deodorant” or “I prefer coiffed, washed hair to greasy, unwashed hair”?

15

Tina Fey? Is that you?

Seriously, unless we’re talking cutters, scars are not a choice. Dreads are. The OP may just think it’s about the hair (though making out didn’t seem to be a problem…) – texture, smell, whatever – but it’s likely just as much about sleeping with the type of woman who’d be happy having dreads. At the same time, if she finds out that’s why you didn’t let her get any further with you, she may very well feel the same way – that’s she’s not sexually attracted to a guy who doesn’t like dreads. I doubt you’re the only one she’s come across, and often, that’s what ‘extreme’ style is about – weeding out certain friends or suitors.

FTR, I can’t imagine sleeping with a guy who says ‘nay nays.’

16

We all have our prejudices, particularly when it comes to sexual interest.

I once turned down a very hot girl because she had facial piercings. I’m not talking about a delicate little gemstone in the nose or an eyebrow ring. She had both of those, one in her left (I think) dimple and one in her lip. I don’t like metallic crap in a girl’s face; so I passed.

I’m sure the sex would have been good, but the distraction and eww factors just weren’t worth it to me. When I was single I wasn’t any kind of Casanova, but I did do well enough with girls I was interested that I had no problem being selective.

I’m sure several girls passed on me for multiple reasons, some “valid” some perceptual, and that’s fine with me. If both people don’t fit each others’ standards of attractiveness and desirability, they shouldn’t sleep together.

17

Hot, hot girl.

Starts talking to me. Seems great, I get her a few drinks. We share a cigarette.

She asks me if I want to go up to her room.

I’m thinking yeah, yeah, yeah! I might’ve already had my belt off at this point.

“I just got the new Kottonmouth Kings album, we can listen to it,” she says. Suddenly, despite being very drunk, I realize that I have so many things to do very early tomorrow.

18

Dreads are a deal breaker for me as well.

19

Here’s an English dealbreaker…

:slight_smile:

20

I don’t like how most dreds feel, though I think they look great on some people.

Hell, I once backed way off of a guy who turned out to have a comb-over. He was wearing a hat the whole time we were talking, then took it off.

I’m not averse to guys losing their hair, I just don’t like it when they grow out a small section of whatever they have left, then wrap it around the balding spot like a scarf.