Will I ever be able to load the firewood rack without smashing a finger? Tomorrow is my first day of finals. I have 6 hours worth of tests in one day. I smashed a finger on my right hand. I write with my right hand. My fiance thinks I avoid filling the rack because I just don’t like doing it. In reality it’s because I’m a klutz.
What about you?
“I don’t need to hit snooze, I’m awake already. I’m just going to close my eyes for one more minute, then I’ll get out of bed. I definitely won’t fall back asleep.”
I’ve been doing this one forever. I somehow can’t make my sleepy-just-woke-up brain to realize that it never works. Ever.
“Oh, I don’t need a basket, let alone a cart. I’m only picking up a gallon of milk. And… cookies to dunk in it! And we need a pound of coffee, don’t we? And I almost forgot something to grill for dinner, and some peppers to go with it. And chips, and we’ll need salsa. Wait, I’ll make guacamole, too. Man, it’s hard to carry all these thi… oops, there go the avocados. Who knew they could roll between people’s legs all the way to the check-out?”
I’ve been doing this a lot lately. I did it last Thursday and almost arrived an hour late to the last clinical of the semester (after 1 hour it doesn’t count even if you stay for the rest of the day).
I did it on Monday too and showed up about 2 minutes into a very important guest lecture. I normally arrive at school an hour early.
I’m nervous about tomorrow. My first final exam starts at 8:30. This class doesn’t usually meet until 10. I’m so worried I’m going to sleep through it.
I do this every weekday. It’s pathetic, I never learn. I blame it on my seductive bed, “Hey baby, it’s cold outside…just stay five more minutes. Lay back down, I’ll hold you…just don’t shave your legs today, it’ll save you those 5 minutes and no one will know…”
Lose my truck at the grocery store. It’s a giant 4 wheel drive Tundra, should be hard to lose, but there’s a regional conspiracy to park an even larger behemoth between it and the store exit. Either that, or someone’s moving it as a gentle spoof.
Do what I do…
(wake up at 3, then 4, then 5…thinking “Is it 7 yet? I can’t sleep in!”)
… no, wait, don’t.
Get a human backup to yell/call/yank off your covers.
Your method will probably work better for me. My fiance is incredibly unreliable when it comes to getting up in the morning. I’m the one who wakes him up.
I’ve learned my lesson about this with the timer on the stove - always use a timer! Always! I will always get distracted by something and forget what I was cooking.
Yup. I’ve also learned to always take a basket.
The one I can’t seem to stop doing is running/bumping into things. Every doorjamb and table I walk by just leans out and rams right into me!
I go to the mall with my wife and I don’t bring my cell phone. Then I blink and she disappears in a busy store, or we agree to meet at place X at time Y and I can’t find her. This has happened more times than I can count.
That just means it’s time to go visit Cinnabon.
I do the sleepy bargaining too. “Gotta get up. But so sleepy. I shaved yesterday. I don’t need to shave today. That’s 5 minutes. How stinky am I? Um, kinda. Will deodorant and a dollop of febreeze fix it? No. Am I too sleepy and that analysis is probably wrong? Almost certainly yes. Great. No shower. Another fifteen minutes. I need to make a lunch. I haven’t gone out for lunch in like years (read: Monday). I deserve to go out to lunch today. But I will skip breakfast anyway so it balances better karmically. That’s half an hour.”
doze doze doze
“Ok get up. You really should have left 10 minutes ago to get to work when you said you would. I’ll blame traffic.”
I would say being an adult sucks but realistically, I never slept in as a kid as late and as often as I do now. The worst part is even on the weekends if I sleep past 9, I feel lousy as if I’ve stolen some of ‘my time’ from me.
I used to oversleep. Then I got a super loud alarm clock and set it on the other side of the room. When you have to get up to shut it off, well, you’re up (dammit). And probably have to pee. Once in the bathroom you face the fact that the day has begun.
My husband helps me cook now that my hands are messed up. (One affected by a stroke, a pinched ulnar nerve in the other.) Lifting pans is almost impossible and when I try to chop veggies (anything) they squirt away from me. Since I also lost part of my sight with the stroke (this is so “sick” it’s funny :p) AND take blood thinners, stabbing blindly at errant food is not A Good Thing. (Martha Stewart.)
My husband no longer…thinks well. They say it’s not dementia; could be depression. I know this and try to tell him exactly what to do with each thing but almost nightly I think something is just a given while I’m doing something else, and it’s not. One time we ended up roasting root vegetables cut into French fries, basically. (I was prepping the chicken.)
At least he tries. 
cigarettes, barbituates, sleeping straight through alarm clock without hearing it, internet addiction…
Burning my mouth on coffee and pizza.
Drinking too much.
“It’s Tuesday afternoon. I know they pick up the trash on Wednesday morning. I’ll take it out tonight.”
“It’s Tuesday night. I’ll wait and take out the trash early tomorrow morning.”
“It’s early Wednesday morning. I’ll take it out in a couple of hours. They never come this early.”
“It’s later Wednesday morning. Oh shit. There are the trash collectors. Guess I’ll have to keep everything in the garage until next week.”
“It’s next week . . . . .”
Wonder where my phone is.
Call using land line to locate it.
Later that day … Ooo a missed call, I wonder who that’s from …
I successfully woke up on time for school this morning. Even leaving my house at 6:45 though, I still only got here at 8:15 for an 8:30 class!! It should only take me 35 minutes to get from my house to school, NOT 35 minutes to get from the entrance to the highway to the exit I need (It takes me 25 minutes to get to the highway).
Oh yeah…smoking. Did I mention that I’m studying to be a respiratory therapist?
Trust people.
They tell us to have trash on the curb by 7am on trash day. It used to be I could take the trash out around 8am when I was leaving for work, because they didn’t get to our street until around 8:30. But now the city has the cool new garbage trucks with the robot arm to grab your dumpster, and they’re coming by a lot earlier now. There have been a few times that I took the trash out about 7:15 and they had already been by. So now I have to learn to take it out the night before, or get it out there as soon as I wake up.
You’ve just described nearly every trip to the grocery store I make.