Okay, so this isn’t really fashion, but I’m a total sucker for makeup. Which is stupid, since I don’t wear a whole lot of it. But I like it anyway.
So. I got a new lipstick last week. It was one of those lip-plumper types. I liked the shade, so, even though my mouth is full enough (hardly bee-stung, but not thin-lipped) I bought it anyway. Little did I know the burning sensation that would result.
I slapped some on about a half hour ago - I’m going to an interview in a few minutes. And as soon as I did, I thought, “Hmmm, what’s that tingling?” Then I read the package. “Mild tingling may result.” Mild tingling, my ass! The tingling built and built until my lips felt swollen and on fire. Finally, I managed to get most of it off. But my lips are still burning like holy hell. They’re not too swollen (though God help me if I had left it on any longer or I’d look like Jessica Rabbit), but dammit, it HURTS. Like a moron, I decided to put some lip balm on after I wiped it off as well as I could. Sadly, said lip balm was medicated and the burning has resumed. Given my track record today, this interview will probably result in me getting committed to the hospital instead of working for it.
Between bouts of cackling at my own stupidity, I’m rinsing and wiping my lips to remove the lip balm. Thanks to the swelling, I no longer need lipstick.
Anyone care to share the stupid things they’ve done to look good? I’d love to be in better company other than my own. As you can see, I’m none too smart today.
Whatever you do, do not rub lemon juice on your lips right now!
I mean, not that you usually do, probably, but today is definitely not the day to try it out.
As far as fashion stupidity goes, I have two words for you: leg warmers. Boy, they really cut the chill we used to feel between the lower calves and the ankles!
What you need to soothe them there sore lips is plain ol’ vaseline.
Anybody remember wearing one single glove? Usually of the fingerless variety? No, me neither. Completely blocked it out. (I didn’t actually do that, because even in my teenaged condition it looked pretty stupid to me.)
I bought and wore one of those post-Purple Rain puffy shirts.
Yeah.
Thing is, if you’re 4’2" and 85 pounds or whatever Prince is, you can probably get away with it. I was a junior in high school, 5’10" or so, and probably 160-175 pounds.
There’s a little (stupid) part of me that wants to know the name of the OP’s lip plumper. I love lip plumpers, and even though they tingle a little for me, it’s never been all that painful…
Try Burts Bees for the stinging lips. Hmmmm. I just realized how that sounds, but honestly, it’s really soothing.
Well, there’s junior high in the 70’s, when I wore a car coat that was longer than my mini skirt. And I was probably wearing a white oxford under a sweater vest with that mini skirt. And the huge bellbottom pants–the one pair I made measured 23" around at the bottoms. Took me forever to hem those things.
I had the perm in '81, the one that made me look sort of poodleish. And I wore leg warmers. And I used to wear lacy shoelaces with my white Keds. And I wore neon coloured shirts. And cigarette-leg black satin pants. Not all together, of course. I actually wore a red satin shirt with the black satin pants. And one day I sat down on my royal blue satin sheets while wearing the satin pants and satin shirt, so I could put on my shoes, and ended up flying across the room and landing on my backside while everyone downstairs heard the thump and wondered why I was laughing hysterically.
Well, the upside of never having been all that fashionable is that I don’t have anything much to look back on with regret.
However, there was that time I thought maybe some Nair depilatory would work better than shaving over my knobby knees. Tingling turned quickly to burning, burning turned quickly to attempting to claw my skin off. And that was just knee skin…if I’d put that stuff on some more delicate area I think I’d have needed a skin graft!
This is exactly what I came in here to post. Leg warmers over jeans with LL Bean low cut duck boots. And a Fair Isle sweater. And a perm. Those were the days, eh? Oh, and ribbons woven onto barrettes.