Stupid things you've said or done

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

Today, after a particularly taxing day, I approached a public urinal and, in preparation for my business, I unbuttoned… my shirt. All the way down.

I stood there for a moment, vaguely sensing that something was not quite right and trying to work out what to do next.

When I realized my mistake, I recalled a Kids in the Hall sketch and thought, “I pee through my penis.” In consequence of this, I began to guffaw.

So, yeah, that was me - the weirdo who walked up to the urinal, opened his shirt, and stood there laughing inexplicably. Always entertaining.

42

Huh? ISTM obvious that one opening = a hole; e.g. “hole in the ground.” If we’re going to indulge in nitpickery, let’s be thorough.

43

That only applies for something very big (and a hole in the ground breaks the surface of the ground). If that hole were in, say, a wall, you’d call it a dent. You’d also call it a dent, rather than a hole, if it didn’t actually cut into the ground. At least, I would.

44

Topologically there is no hole, it would be a solid sheet of plastic folded in on itself. Even one hole assumes that it was intended to be a solid cylinder (i.e. a solid rod of plastic is bored through to create the straw).

Two holes assumes that it was meant to be a hollow “bag”. Although I’ve never been to a straw manufacturing facility, my guess is that they are extruded in a hollow cylinder; no holes.

45

A while ago I was talking to my Mom about a visit she had recently made to the town I grew up in (which neither of us live in any more). She was telling me about some buildings downtown and how they had changed since we had been there. I listened to her description and agreed with her that “yeah, it must have used to been different”.

It must have used to been different?

WTF is that? That sure isn’t standard English.