Just after the fall time change, I happened to end up sitting in the dining hall with a girl I didn’t know. I mentioned that I was happy about the time change because I’d been somewhat sleep deprived as of late and was glad to have the extra hour.
Her: Actually you lost an hour’s sleep because you lose an hour in the fall. That’s why I don’t like the time change.
Me: No, you set your clock back in the fall so you get an extra hour.
Her: No you don’t! I usually wake up at 11 on the weekend, but I set my clock back last night and when I woke up today it was only 10! So I was up a whole hour earlier than usual!
Me: But if you hadn’t set your clock back it would have been 11 when you got up. You got the same amount of sleep you normally would have.
Her: Okay, whatever makes sense to you in your little world.
OK, the laws of physcis are by definiation the same across the universe (possibly given as a function of position), but I think if we found that if the ratio between force and rate of change of momentum changed I’d say “Hey, the laws of physics aren’t constant” without thinking, and everyone’d know what I meant.
An intellegent friend in a science class: “But if the core of the earth is so dense, why doesn’t it sink to the bottom of the earth?”
Our very own Lorenzo who, in a thread about the biggest busts in sports history, said, “As a matter of principle, I don’t state that anyone has a problem with alcohol or drugs without having personally witnessed it. That’s my preference, not ignorance of the facts.”
This was made in reference to Lorenzos saying that “…not unlike Daryl Strawberry whose career was diminished by his alleged (my emphasis) problems with drugs and John Daly whose career was significantly diminished by his alleged (again, my emphasis) problems with alcohol.”
While it is nice to occasionally visitCandyland, it’s not a really good idea to set up permanent residence there.
(set up shot of the Central Perk)
Chandler: (accidently drops his cup) Darn daylight savings time! Could I be any more mixed up?
Joey: Yeah, stupid sailors.
Monica: Actually, Joey, daylight savings time is for farmers.
Joey: Then what do sailors get?
Ross: Scurvy.
Joey: Ahh.
Phoebe: Fall fowards, spring back. Its’ so annoying.
Rachel: Its’ spring fowards, fall back. You got it backwards.
Phoebe: No, no. When you trip, you fall fowards and if you were to run into a spring you would, you know, spring back.
Chandler: You’ve got to watch out for that Coily.
Monica: No, Phoebe, you set your clock back in the fall so you get an extra hour.
Phoebe: No you don’t! I usually wake up at 11 on the weekend, but I set my clock back last night and when I woke up today it was only 10! So I was up a whole hour earlier than usual!
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, if you hadn’t set your clock back it would have been 11 when you got up. You got the same amount of sleep you normally would have.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever makes sense to you in your little world.
Sadly, my example is me. In 11th grade American history we were doing a re-enactment of the 1912 elections. I was Eugene Debs, the socialist candiate. In my campaign speech I suggested throwing out the captialist system and replacing it with a socialist system that would clean out the corruption. During the Q and A session someone asked me what would prevent my new system from becoming overrun with corruption like the old system. This froze me. That was what happened in the USSR and I couldn’t think of a way around it.
“Um, very thorough background checks,” I said.
“Do you care to elaborate on that?”
“Um, no. Next question.”
Oh, one more. A few days after 9/11 I was on the phone with my best friend. Great person, but she’ll never be mistaken for a genius.
“This is like World War III.”
“Yeah, its’ really…”
“I mean what if the Germans get involved?!”
My grandmother, God love her, is extremely gullible - but once she has lodged onto an idea, she won’t give it up. Her brother told her (and, if I know him, probably believed) plenty of improbable stories, and she believed every one. One of them, which she believes to this day: if you’re going through the tollbooth at the turnpike, and the toll taker does not light up the little sign that tells you what your toll is, it means that they’ve pocketed it. If the light goes on, it’s on the up-and-up. She would request for the toll takers to turn on the light before she would move through the gate. :rolleyes:
And another fundie one: got into it with a 7th Day Adventist. With whose beliefs I have no problem, and I do, in fact, see a certain logic to celebrating the Sabbath on Saturday. However, he categorically refused to accept the reason other Christian sects celebrate on Sunday - in fact, he refused to accept that any religious history up to and including the Reformation had ever happened. According to him, his own sect came about completely spontaneously, with no relation whatsoever to other Christian religions. Odd that he would be worshipping the same deity, then, isn’t it? His idea of compelling argument in favor of his belief (the one that his religion has arisen without ever coming in contact with any others, not about Saturday) - shaking his head repeatedly and saying, “No. No, that didn’t happen.” “Then what did?” “That’s not what happened.” “But history proves it!” “No.” :smack:
Just got a new one, albeit second hand. Another co-worker just returned from Texas, where someone had tried to convince him just how hot it is down there:
“Sometimes it gets up to around 120 (degrees) here, then the humidity is about 120, so it gets to be over 200 degrees!”
Once in a creative writing class in college, I was attempting to craft an explanation of my theory that “all Russian literature was glum, desolate, and depressing.”
This theory was based on my having read two books by Russian authors: “Crime and Punishment” by Dostoyevsky and “Uncle Vanya” by Chekhov. Later I realized that neither book was quite as uniformly depressing as I’d previously thought (in fact, “Uncle Vanya” is pretty funny.)
The conversation in class went something like:
Me: I think Russian literature is depressing because Russia is huge, but it has a uniformly flat, agricultural landscape that’s completely featureless and uninteresting, and goes on for thousands of miles. Easy to see how that could suck the vitality out of any creative person.
Classmate: Actually, Russia is full of all kinds of landscapes: mountains, valleys, plains, forests, deserts. It’s a very interesting and varied place.
This happened last year. I was at a cabin with 4 other college kids (all “smart”–2 engineers, a math major, and a chemsitry major). Both guys were fairly outdoorsy, and somehow we started talking about birds. I forget the exact conversation, but one of them was arguing with me that birds eggs are fertilized after they’re laid. I was stating that this didn’t happen–they’re fertilized, the egg shell forms around them, and then they’re laid. But I dropped it.
I guess he must think that male birds have magical sperm, that can penetrate an egg shell to fertilize the egg, but not break it.
I asked someone once how birds reproduce and that was the answer I got, and I accepted it, because fish and amphibians do it as well. I guess I was wrong, but now I’m wondering exactly HOW do birds…er, do it.
Yesterday I sold insurance to a mechanic, who was pretty friendly.
Then came the wetback comments (although somewhat ironically, he was castigating the banks for taking advantage of people with little financial skills).
Right about the end he told me how AIDS started when the Red Cross combined sheep and chimp viri and and then gave it to “blacks in Africa so they wouldn’t be a world health problem.” That line is so empty of any sense of history or logic that it’s a very good thing that I could focus on the paperwork I was trying to rush through.
WSLer, knock it off. If you have to bash another poster, we have a designated forum for it. You have been behaving like an ass lately. I strongly advise you to shape up, or your remaining time on these boards may be limited.
Now, for my own entry, copied from another thread.
I didn’t technically hear it myself. It was relayed to me by a friend who was present when the words were uttered.
OK, so this friend of mine (we were all still in college) goes on this exchange program for 6 months. She and one of her sorority sisters end up in Tessaloniki, Greece. One day, they decide to take their books to the beach to study there, because the weather is so gorgeous.
They find a nice spot and start reading. After a while, my friend’s sorority sister starts to get a little restless, and gets up.
My Friend: “What’s up? Are you OK?”
Sorority Sister: “Let’s go home. It’s going to rain in a few minutes.”
MF: “Errrr… huh? Why would you think that? There’s a clear blue sky, no wind, and not a cloud in sight!”
SS: “…”
MF: starts laughing
SS: “Huh. I never really associated clouds with rain before!”
This was a 23 year old law student, about to graduate and become a lawyer. Thank goodness she was stunningly beautiful, or she would never win a case in her life.
!!!