My hubby and I have the Mayo VS. MiracleWhip arguement going on here as well. I say MW is gag me with a spoon gross and he says mayo is. I keep telling him MW was made for SALADS Hence the name SALAD DRESSING!! Mayo was made for SANDWICHES. Oh and there is no contest… Cold Stone Creamery is THE best. Baskin Robins is a VERY close second tho. If only because of the rum daquiry sherbet 
Bud’s ice cream. period. Picture frigid cold winter evening and a line around the block … that’s Bud’s
And, I’m really hoping your debating Kirk v/s Picard as the captain rolls as written, and NOT (oh, please) debating the skills of the actors playing them! (have you pointed out that Picard is willing and able to DELEGATE?? Picard wouldn’t insist on ALWAYS being in the cowboy role of leading the away team!) (Want some fun? Get the biographys of the various actors in Star Trek and learn how come Captain Kirk always had the best lines and best ‘bits’ …)
Oh, and toilet paper goes over the top! chuckle I have a friend and when his mother-in-law comes to visit, Every toilet paper roll in the house gets turned to have it coming off the bottom. Every roll, including the roll in their private bathroom, off the master bedroom. Not as a joke, she just feels That strongly about it!
Bah! - There is only one true answer to this debate - Both may and Miracle Whip are abombinations in the eyes of GOD, and should be whiped from the face of the Earth. Whoever invented these vile concoctions should be drawn and quatered. Even if it involves digging up there corpes.
Cold Stone Ice-cream. I can feel my arteries hardening just thinking about it.
Hey Jimbo and Featherlou, is Peters Hamburgers still there? I haven’t been home in ten years.
OK. This beats out the “Who was in what movie” post. This lovely gem comes to us via my MIL & SIL, last Wednesday. I was at work, therefore could not act as buffer between above parties.
Regarding the obit:
Funeral Director: “How many children did the deceased have?”
MIL: 3
SIL: (at the same time)5
FD: “Sorry?”
MIL: 3!
SIL: 5!
MIL: 3 legitimate children. (yes, folks, she actually said that).
SIL: Fine. and two illegitimate step children.
:rolleyes:
Michael Jr. (BIL’s oldest): Sir, please just put that my father had 5 children, their names and ages.
Since this time, ensuing stupidity has occurred.
PS- Cold Stone Ice Cream…mmmmm
Ok, in the land of morbid stupid arguments:
My MIL wanted desperately to argue that her loss was greater than mine, since she’s lost a child while I’d only lost love’d. (I didn’t enter the argument, I just made some noncommittal reply about both of us needing to do what ever it took to heal …)
She also tried to go for an arguement about whether or not I should keep the wedding presents she’d given to {us.} (Her son’s wife, also entered into the Same arguement about things they’d given {us.} The son, my BIL, to his credit, said, “Don’t let them be stupid, keep the stuff, it was given to you, too!”) I gave it all to the two women, rather than argue.
love’d should read lost my belove’d:smack:
Mr. Lurker and I differ, on occasion.
He believes that bright lights at night (on the interstate, over sports arenas, etc.) Cause"light pollution". I maintain that there must be a physical output of some substance before we get to the “pollution” stage. Annoying, sure. Polluting? No. Long evening rides in silence, each smugly believing that they are right.
The newest one to surface: We live on deep, narrow lot (50 by 200 ft.). We have bought the empty lot on one side of us and would like to buy the one on the other side. A house is on this lot and it really needs to be torn down. (We agree, actually, that we want to stay here and that we need more room). I would like to tear this (very old, falling down abandon house) place down and build an addition to our house. HE thinks that it would be better to build corridor or tunnel to the basement of the house and there is our space solution. I can see using the basement for some type of storage…but a TUNNEL? Hopefully saner heads will prevail when we go to get the re zoning done and he presents his plan.
AND…this was a big argument. He did X in a public place. He was not intoxicated and thought it was great at the time. I related said act X to a friend. He got reallly mad because the “friend” might tell someone. If he did X in the privacy of our home I would understand. But he did it in PUBLIC! I tried to argue that “someone” might find out about X by virtue of it having taken place in public, but NO I was the bad guy for relating someting in the public domain?:rolleyes: 
Last night my father told me that the only reason I didn’t get a mortgage with a bank a couple of months ago was because I introduced my husband as my partner. Apparently this makes me look eccentric and unreliable and nobody will give us credit. I pointed out that I’d probably say partner 50% of the time and husband the other 50% and I’ve never seen any major difference in how we get treated.
I also pointed out that on the form, there was this category where you put your marital status and I had indeed ticked married and I think that carries more weight.
I’ve never had an issue with getting credit even though we use different names, and don’t wear wedding rings and don’t always say husband and wife. There were a boatload of reasons we didn’t get that mortgage. We’ve since gotten one from somewhere else and I honestly cannot remember whether I said husband or partner. I intend to maintain I said partner and still got the mortgage or he will bang on about this for years.
Hubby and I argue, post-sex, about who is responsible for the wet spot. He says I am responsible, since the stuff leaked out of me. I say he is responsible, since it was his actions that made the stuff leak out of me. The analogy that I use is this: if he stabs me with a steak knife, and I bleed, is it my fault that I bleed? No! It is his fault because he was the one who stabbed me! Therefore, the wet spot is his fault.
It was his idea that I should post this as a “stupid family argument”. I shall now sit back, and wait for all the Dopers to ratify my position in this argument!
HA! HA!
Anyways…you win.
Here’s the current family arguement:
Whether or not I’m gay. I say I’m not.
My family sums it up like this:
[ul]
I have a cat
I have both ears double-pierced
I have a career in “the arts” (I’m a stand-up comedian)
I live alone
I once bleached my hair platinum blonde, just for the hell of it
It’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone seriously
[/ul]
I counter that, in my defense, I’ve never had sex with another male, including foreplay or oral sex. I will, however, admit that the circumstantial evidence is pretty damning. But that doesn’t mean that I’m guilty.[sup]*[/sup]
[sup]*Please keep this post tongue-in-cheek. I bear no ill will to homosexuals. I just find the arguement amusing.[/sup]
Last night my mother, my aunt and my aunt’s BF got into a dispute about how frequently the average man gets pimples on his penis. It got rather heated. I said in most males, it probably rarely occured, and that many men probably had never had a zit on their penis. The others said it was probably fairly frequent, even the BF, who’d said he’d never had a penis-based pimple himself.
Oh, I just love arguments like this one. Because, even though you are the one who SHOULD know “the truth,” no believes that you possibly COULD. And you can’t win. Even if you run off and marry J.Lo. or something, everyone will think it’s a “phase.” I feel for you, I really do.
There was one going around in my family a little while ago about whether or not I was pregnant. The setup: I had found a lump in my breast, and the doctor recommended an ultrasound to check it out. (Turned out to be nothing.) But someone overheard the word “ultrasound” and then all of the sudden I was pregnant. Granted, I can understand WHY people would think that, but nobody ever bothered to ask ME, or my husband.
Now the big rumor / argument is, “What happened?” Of course, nothing happened, because I was never pregnant, but nobody believes that. One rumor I heard was that I got into a car accident or something and had a misscarriage. News to me …
Mr. Ujest, just a few weeks after we were married, while flipping through the channels and coming across the slo-mo bikini chicks of Baywatch, said to me in a dreamy voice, " Y’know, David Hasselhof has always been one of my favorite actors."
Naturally, if this was disclosed before we were married, it would have been the deal breaker. (Five years of dating/engagement and he kept it in the closet all that time.) He now has no memory of ever saying this and refuses to discuss it. (BTW, he is 1st generation German…go figure.) If he were gay it would be easier to accept than liking that piece of cheesecake.
Also, back twenty years ago, due to the economy being in the toilet and his dad being self employeed ( mom stayed at home) they were on the verge of losing everything. Then they discovered Amway. For several years they were very successful with it and it enabled them to buy in cash a brand new caddie.
I do not disparage them for making ends meet during very tough times. (They are not active in it now, but keep their membership or whatever it is, going so as to get the discounts on the things they like.)
But, what slays me is that Mr. Ujest refuses to admit that Amway is essentially a pyramid scheme, though they are operating just inside the realms of the legal world. But it is all about recruiting others under you in order to make more mula.
When ever we are having one of those discussions in which either side is " I know you are right, but I won’t budge." and " I know you are right, and *I * won’t budge." and it is a stalemate that will not end, I *love * to throw out there to end the situation, “Y’know, Amway is a pyramid scam.”
Mr. Reasonable always loses his cool, " It is NOT!"
(His friends, watching us stalemate each other in something utterly stupid, nearly fell off the chair with laughter over my tactic. .)
When all else fails, abuse the defendant.
Yes, this is a no-win situation. But it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun messing with them.
Y’know, I’m with Shirley on this one. Do you have a friend you can introduce to your family as your “hetero lifemate, Silent Bob”? They’ll have to really wrap their brains around that one, if your family is anything like mine.
Also, Shirley - I want to get invited to a dinner party at your house! Just so I can see you throw that “pyramid scheme” line out, and see the hilarity that ensues.
I don’t know whether or not “light pollution” is technically “pollution”, or if “pollution” is being used slightly metaphorically. I suspect it depends exactly how you define “pollution.”
But it’s certainly a well-accepted phrase meaing “Too much waste light.”
Isn’t it?
Me and hubby fight about the wet spot too. Puh-leese, it’s his DNA, therefore his fault. It’s not like Monica was on trial for the dress stain.
We also fight about the wishbone of a turkey. That first Thanksgiving (10 years ago) we each made a wish and pulled on the wishbone. I came up with the bigger piece. But we both rejoiced. That’s when I found out how backward he is about things like that. He actually believed that the smaller piece wins. I blame it on his brother lying to him as a kid.
Also, I set my dining room chairs around my round table North, South, East and West. But if my MIL comes over and I leave her to watch the kids, when I come back the chairs will have been moved 45 degrees around the table to NW, NE, SW, SE. It happens all the time and sends me into orbit even though I never said anything about it (it would do no good but make me madder the next time it happened). I try not to even look at the table before she leaves to help me to not murder her. She does a lot of other crap too but for some reason this stands out in my mind as the epitome of all the sh*t she does. So I sold the round table and bought a rectangular one. NOW PUT THE CHAIRS AT THE CORNERS, C’MON I DARE YA!!!