What is the oldest idiotic arguments you’ve seen on TV/movies?
The earliest I remember was on All in the Family. Archie and Mike had a disagreement about putting on footwear, whether you should put on both socks, then both shoes, or put the sock and shoe on the left foot, then the sock and shoe of the right foot.
IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT is pretty much made of this, because Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert flirt by bickering over trifles: how best to dunk a donut; the comparative merits of hitchhiking with a smile or a long face, or showing some leg instead of just sticking out a thumb; whether what he’s doing for her counts as a piggyback ride; and so on.
Not an idiotic argument, but I loved this exchange between Charles Bronson and Jason Robards in Once Upon a Time in the West: Cheyenne: Harmonica, a town built around a railroad. [laughs] You could make a fortune. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Hey, more than that. Thousands of thousands.
Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
Teddy: What are you, cracked?
Vern: Why not? I saw the other day he was carrying five elephants in one hand!
Teddy: Boy, you don’t know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman’s a real guy. There’s no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
Vern: Yeah, maybe you’re right. It’d be a good fight, though.
Another argument: Barney Fife trying to reform Otis Campbell, the town drunk.
Or the pompous Frank Barone arguing with his sons about what constitutes “macho.”
Or (The Lucy Show): Lucy vs. Mr. Mooney on the subject of decorum.
Or Fred and Wilma Flintstone arguing about practically anything.
Or the stuck - up snob Veronica vs. the laid-back Jughead.
All right, we can’t blow the fuck
out of them…why not roll some
canisters of CN-20 down there.
Nerve gas the whole nest?
Look, man, let's just bug out and
call it even, okay?
No good. How do we know it'll
effect their biochemistry? I say
we take off and nuke the entire
site from orbit. It's the only
way to be sure.
Now hold on a second. I'm not
authorizing that action.
Burke senses the challenge in her tone and backpedals
flawlessly into conciliatory mode.
Well, I mean...I know this is an
emotional moment, but let's not
make snap judgments. Let's move
cautiously. First, this physical
installation had a substantial
dollar value attached to it --
They can bill me. I got a tab
running. What's second?
This is clearly an important
species we're dealing with here.
We can't just arbitrarily
exterminate them --
Yeah, bullshit. Watch us.
Maybe you haven't been keeping up
on current events, but we just got
out asses kicked, pal!
Ripley faces Burke squarely and she's not pleased.
Look, Burke. We had an agreement.
Burke moves in, lowering his voice. He takes her aside
from the others.
I know, I know, but we're dealing
with changing scenarios here. This
thing is major, Ripley. I mean
really major. You gotta go with
its energy. Since you are the
representative of the company who
discovered this species your
percentage will naturally be
some serious, serious money.
Ripley stares at his like he's a particularly
You son of a bitch.
Don't make me pull rank, Ripley.
What rank? I believe Corporal Hicks
has authority here.
This operation is under military
jurisdiction and Hicks is next in
chain of command. Right?
Looks that way.
Burke starts to lose it and it's not a pretty sight.
Look, this is a multimillion
dollar operation. He can't make
that kind of decision. He's just
(glances at Hicks)
Ferro, you copying?
(voice over; static)
Prep for dust-off. We're gonna
need an immediate evac.
I think we'll take off and nuke
the site from orbit. It's the
only way to be sure.[/spoiler]
No, no. The time they were arguing about whether you eat your vegetables or meat first on a plate. Or all together. They were both on an enforced diet at the time. Dreaming of food. Mike wants it one way. Archie, showing his extreme mastery of any situation, argues for the sandwich. A perfect blend of meat, cheese, lettuce, dressing all in your mouth at the same time… excuse me, I gotta go make a sandwich. Which is what they did at that point.