Tank Girl is on Tubi (free!), so I will watch it soon. And if you’ve ever wondered what the deal is with Electric Boogaloo, Breakin’ 2 is also on there. If you’ve never seen Cherry 2000, now’s the time. It’s a fun movie, with great 80s visuals. The Last Unicorn is on there, too.
Got to the end of the thread and nobody seems to have mentioned M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening, which tops my personal list. The listless, dreary direction and dreary, listless acting fight listlessly for center-stage against the stupidity of its revenge-of-the-ferns plot. But in the end the stupid conquers all.
I mean at least 10,000 BC had the very vaguely intriguing puzzle of what the hell is that antagonist thing? Ancient Astronaut was my shrug of a guess as well 
.
The Happening is not the worst stupid film however, just the stupidest. That title of worst of course belongs to Highlander 2 aka King of the Jaw-Agape-Trying-To-Sort-Out-What-The-Fuck-That-Was Sequels.
That isn’t even the worst movie named “Red Riding Hood”.
I’m gonna have to go with Feardotcom. It was a pretty clear knockoff of The Ring with a website taking the place of the videotape. The website is run by a Silence of the Lambs-esque serial killer who is torturing and murdering his victims on livestream (in 2002, mind you), and the Sadako character is his first victim, who’s killing people who watch the site to punish them for encouraging him.
Perhaps the most laughable part of the movie is that the URL of the killer website is “feardotcom.com”, presumably because the producers didn’t bother to find out whether “fear.com” was available before they decided on a title. (The latter website is no longer active, and the former appears to have been claimed by someone making fun of the film.)
We do not speak of… That Movie in this house.
Twister might have the dumbest scene in film history.
A woman asked about the categories of Tornados, one of the tornado chasers talks about F2s and F3s and how an F4 will physically move your house. Then the woman asks if there’s an F5 tornado exists and the room goes dead silent. Everyone drops the utensils they were using to eat dinner and everyone looks at her in shock. Because apparently one of their families had died in an F5 Tornado when they were a kid and act like it was a major faux pas.
BUT ASKING IF AN F5 TORNADO EXISTS IS A COMPLETELY NATURAL LINE OF CONVERSATION
Ah, but it was Jami Gertz’s character who asked, and she was The Dummy. Movies that involve science, or pseudo-science, usually have The Dummy: the character who knows nothing about what’s happening, and asks questions so the audience can be brought up to speed. In days gone by, it was often a child, or at least a teenager: a niece or nephew of one of the main characters, tagging along because Reasons.
There are no children in Twister; there’s this woman, Paxton’s new lady friend he’s been seeing while he’s one signature away from being divorced from Hunt. She’s a psychologist, which means she “only” has a PhD. If she was a psychiatrist, she’d have an MD, making her closer to a Real Scientist. But she’s an airy-fairy therapist, so she gets to be The Dummy.
(The one thing I’m glad about is that her pristine white suit did not get splattered with mud. I was cringing in dread of that, but her character was excused from the film before that could happen.)
Okay, another stupid movie, that I’ve probably mentioned here before: San Andreas. There’s a 8- or 9-point earthquake in L.A., and the Rock, some kind of Special Ops Disaster Responder, ignores thousands of people in agony or peril so he can get across town and save his teenage daughter. Except, half the film follows her and two other people she hooked up with…and we see over and over that she is smart, capable and brave, and therefore doesn’t need Big Daddy to save her! Except for the first scene after the quake, where she’s trapped in a car and can’t get out on her own, everything after that is her leading the two boys to safety, not the other way around. So Dad could have done his job and helped everybody else, but oh no, they can all get crushed or fall into the tar pits or burn up, because they’re not his daughter.
(This was corrected in the Rock’s next disaster film, Skyscraper. The building is on fire, but whew, everyone has been evacuated! Except the Rock’s family and the owner of the building, d’oh! So he can go to great lengths to save them, and it’s not at the expense of anyone else.)
I love stupid movies. I grew up watching stupid horror movies, the stupider the better. I enjoyed Freddy Got Fingered (When he’s trying to impress his date in the restaurant and tries too hard is comedy gold) So you know my standards are pretty low.
Stupidest movie ever hands down is The Item. This movie would have won a Razzie if it had been in a high-school film festival.
I wonder if that was inspired by this.
What?! Night of the Comet was a lot of fun! I don’t think you’re supposed to take it all too seriously.
Y’all are being much too hard on Twister. It’s big, dumb fun where you get to watch stuff blowed up good. Don’t ask of it more than that, and it’s enjoyable.
My wife and I are watching and rating each Jarmusch film and The Dead Don’t Die almost brought the whole experiment to a grinding halt.
My nomination is Eyes Wide Shut. Bad acting, bad writing and bad directing.
May I present Cool World?
Let’s set Roger Rabbit in Hell. Ugly, internally inconsistent, and pointless.
I have two I’ve actually seen (well, three, but Supernova was mentioned above).
John Carter, where 21st century movie-makers tried to adapt a 1912 book into a franchise and…failed miserably in making people care about anyone in the film, Martian or Human, and completely confusing anyone trying to follow the plot.
Second and even worse is Batman and Robin, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie that poorly scripted, plotted, or directed in my life. I mean, if you want a good story on Dr. Freeze watch Batman: The Animated Series treatment–23 minutes that is better plotted and scripted than the multi-million dollar bomb.
Gotta disagree with this one. I thought the film was extremely well-made, with good characterization a superb special effects. This film was effectively scuttled by Disney itself, when a new regime took over and treated the film like a pariah because it wasn’t their baby. They couldn’t outright kill it, because it was directed by one of Pixar’s top directors, but they didn’t promote it* and let it die
A great book was written about this – Michael D. Sellers’ John Carter and the Gods of Hollywood
*Seriously – when’s the last time you noticed that a Disney film release wasn’t surrounded by a zillion toys, plush figures, coloring books, activity books, stickers, Little Golden Books, YA books, actions figures, etc. For cryin’ out loud, the 1984 release of Dune and the 1997 movie Starship Troopers had a lot of these things, and they weren’t even intended for kids!
I tried. I honestly wanted to make it work with 6 Underground. I just couldn’t. WTF was that even about?
As I mentioned in another thread recently, The Coldest Game, plot was riddled with more holes than the WWII remains of a building in one of the many implausible scenes.
The point was this: “Roger Rabbit that’s easier to masturbate to”. Everything else was just a thin veneer of an excuse to make a mainstream film featuring horny cartoon women.
Yeah, I managed maybe half an hour of that but it was just all kinds of dumb, even for a Michael Bay film.
It might be because it was hyped as a “hard science” movie, but The Wandering Earth got more What the fck!? out of me than any other movie ever.
SPOILERS
- They attach rockets around the equator to push the entire earth to another star system.
…despite only having near future tech - Oh noes! Earth is going to hit Jupiter. This was caused by a “gravity spike”. Hmm.
- Solution found! Since jupiter is mostly hydrogen, a small flame can ignite the whole Jovian atmosphere and push earth to safety, because reality is a cartoon.
- A whole lot of characters crying. This seems to be pretty standard for recent chinese movies though, not a problem specific to TWE
I agree- I saw it one weekend afternoon, expecting it to be a colossal turd, but was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t one at all. I mean, it might not have been Blade Runner, but it wasn’t nearly so bad as it was made out to be.
And Disney apparently has a periodic habit of doing that sort of thing- read up on how The Emperor’s New Groove ended up being made.
Using science we don’t have to build giant engines and time we don’t have to build vast underground cities(in what-about 20 years?) I watched this because it was considered to be a great science fiction movie in China…and I’ve seen better science in a Roger Ramjet cartoon.
Recently watched Centigrade. The entire movie is about two people trapped in a car. They could have easily escaped. But no, they felt they were trapped. For two weeks. Very stupid.