I have a few:
-Engaged in a several-minute-long rock fight with my boy scout buddies. That’s right. A Rock Fight. Like a snowball fight, except we were throwing rocks.
-Tried to pass a car on 152 in my 1994 Nissan Sentra. I barely did, but every time I drive that stretch of road now I get shivers about how close I came to colliding head-on with the traffic coming the other way.
-Got into a relationship with my most recent girlfriend
Wow, you did this too? Now I don’t feel quite so stupid. Actually I was building a model airplane, I squirted some glue on the counter, wiped it up with a napkin, and the napkin stuck to my finger. I freaked out momentarily and shook my wrist to get it off. The glue soaked napkin flew off of my finger and hit me square in the eye. I thought I was gonna be blind…
Wait… is your post accusing me of ripping off your story? I can’t tell…Damn Sarcasm, use the smilies man…
I was at a beach party with a large gathering of friends and thought it would be a good idea to throw a shopping bag full of assorted fireworks and bottle rockets into a raging bonfire. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe not the stupidest, but definitely one of the most spectacular.
About five years ago my sister used to hang out with a bunch of guys who all had motorcycles. One night she asked me if I wanted to go out riding with them. So we’re just riding around for a while, then the guys decide to go on this street that curves through the forest preserves and has no street lights. My sister and I are just riding on the back of these guys’ bikes so we really don’t have much control over where they go. We get to the road and they take off, I knew we were going pretty damn fast, but I had no idea how fast. Then a cop speeds up behind us and pulls us over. He clocked us over 100 mph. Now when I think back about that it makes my stomach knot up. If we would have even hit a small rock we would have been thrown from that bike, let alone how easy it would have been to lose control on those curvy roads in the dark. Luckily we were fine, but I’ll never do that again. I don’t even like crotchrockets at all now, I don’t feel safe. I’d rather be on the back of a Harley.
At the tender age of 16, a friend and I had gone to Myrtle Beach with my parents, and my friend had brought her car so we could go out without the 'rents. Great idea, yeah? So her car dies in a mall parking lot at mall closing time. And I don’t have the number for the place we’re staying. (This is before cel phones, BTW.) So I called AAA, but while we were waiting for them to come, this van full of Ohio fratboys offers us a ride home.
I might add that we were smart, well-educated daughters of privelige who definately knew better than to take rides from drunken college-age strangers.
But we did anyway. D’oh!
Surprisingly, we did not end up raped and murdered - they took us right home and were very sweet, nice people.
Oh, I’ve got some stories I could tell, but I’d on the lighter side, there’s this. One thing I did when I was a kid was to ride my bike at top speed from the hill at the top of my street, get up to speed and then stand up on the crossbar and balance on it for the distance of three houses or so, then climb down without losing balance or momentum, and be sitting and steering before I slowed down enough to veer off the road. How I never had an accident doing this I will never know.
They built a grain elevator at the other end of my street, and my friends and I used to climb up inside the silos and jump from the top down into the wheat, sinking in up to our bellies. I used to climb the ladder on the side of the building, and go up on the roof of the main building. There were three towers of differing height, that contained the conveyor belt with scoops that gathered and dumped out grain. So I’d climb up to the top tower and just look around. I could see for nearly ten miles in every direction. It was the closest thing to excitement in my little town. If I had taken one wrong step on that ladder up by the tower, I would have been, well I wouldn’t be here telling you about it. But hey, I was young, I had no fear. I had to learn that later.
Probably the stupidest thing I ever did was to leave my Les Paul Custom in the rehearsal room overnight. This was the only time I had left it out of my sight. When we came back the next day, it was gone, with some other equipment, and also from other rooms. I never got it back, or a cent of the insurance money that the creep who owned the place collected.
Hell, there are so many I guess I’ll go by decade of age.
0-10: running straight into the side of a moving car while trying to escape a bully. No injuries, amazingly enough.
11-20: setting aside a few examples of drunk and disorderly behavior, being so nervous at my high school graduation ceremony that I walked right past the extended hand of the high school principal (said hand containing my diploma), to the hilarity of hundreds.
21-30: not continuing a relationship with a certain young lady. Hey, I bet almost everyone’s got a similar story.
31-40: Failing to file income tax one year, for no other reason than I wasn’t sure what the rules were when one is living overseas, then living like a hunted refugee for a couple more until I found out it just meant filing for the missing year and paying the penalties (not insignificant, but not backbreaking either, as it turned out).
41-50: ‘lending’ 1300 bucks to a stripper I was going out with for a while. D’oh.
I was in the UK and wanted to go to France. I had some extra time, so I decided to go through Ireland. Because I am VERY STUPID, I didn’t check the ferry times carefully enough, and after a couple days in Dublin, I ended up having to completely backtrack, going back to the UK and taking a coach from London to Paris. Gigantic waste of time, and all because I couldn’t be bothered to read the ferry schedules. I used to be a proponant of spontaneous travelling, but that episode learned me good.
I was 18 and decided to fly, with a one way ticket and $400, to Eygpt. About half way, well Singapore airport actualy, it dawned on me that I couldn’t get home if it all went arse-about-face. I cried so much for the rest of the flight that I was the only person on the plane not searched by the Eygptian customs guy (handy hint for terrorists? ooops!..ok it was the 80’s I’m sure they are more steely hearted now) Mr customs guy patted my back and said “Don’t cry, Eyppt very nice, very nice people, look I don’t look in your bag”.
He was right though. Very nice and I had an awesome time. In retrospect VERY DUMB though.
If my child attempts the same trick I will phone ahead to cairo and tell them he needs to be deported! Well I know my parents nearly died while I galavanted.
Not really! I wil snub him forever if he doesn’t go off!
I missed a test because I didn’t know there was going to be one and I even skipped the class. I went to the professor and begged to be allowed to do the make-up test, telling him the truth of how I missed it in the first place. I studied all night for it and accidentally fell asleep. When I woke up, I realized I’d be 30 mins late for the test.
It makes me feel somewhat better that someone else who is obviously intelligent and street-smart was dumb enough to do this. When I was about 14, my two friends and I accepted a ride from four guys we’d never met and didn’t know from Adam. I shudder to think of what could have happened to us, but we actually found the elusive nice guys. One of my friends even dated one of them for almost five years.
On a more amusing note, when I was about five, it didn’t occur to me to jump off the sled before it hit the fence. I had chain-link-face for a couple days.
19, roller-skating at a rink. I’ve got my feet, mostly, but then a three year old skirts across my path. I stumble over her without whacking her in the head with my skates, fall flat on my face (did NOT put my hands up) and drove myself two miles home rather than two blocks to the hospital.
When I was 12 a buddy and I decided to try huffing gas…
After the smoke cleared, the house had taken $80,000 in structural damage and had to be torn down (replaced by a very nice vet clinic, iirc); my mother’s plant collection, valued in the 5 digit range, was obliterated, as were a large % of my uncle’s 33 record collection (sorry guys); my friend was release from the hospital after 16 long weeks and 3 very painful skin grafts.
Straight out of library school, I was offered a dream job - managing the library of a Crown Corporation for the summer while the librarian was away - I was 23 and scared sh*tless of the challenge so I said no. I found out that fall that the librarian never returned and the summer replacement got the job permanently. That was 11 years ago and I still kick myself for being such a chicken! The salary back then for that job was almost twice as much as what I’m making NOW. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr …
1st engagement ring - put it in a jacket pocket and lost it.
2nd engagement & wedding ring - husband was mugged the night my first child was born after getting into a livery cab with the driver and his accomplice. Lost all my jewelry that I thought was safer with him than in the hospital.
But quite possibly the most stupid thing I did was choosing the wrong person to marry. It’s the mistake that keeps on giving.