Don’t worry. [fingers crossed] No one will laugh. [/fingers crossed] I’ll go first:
Broke my colorbone playing . . . frisbee.
Someone threw it up on top of this hill. I ran to get it, thought it would be cool to take a running jump and throw it in mid-air. Frisbee heads directly to the ground and I roll down the hill to a loud SNAP from my collar area. I told people who asked I broke it playing sports. If they asked what sport, you could guarantee a nice bout of laughter, followed by half-assed attempts to stop laughing.
I don’t know what was worse the pain or the humiliation.
On the first day of my first job (I was fifteen) I dumped a huge vat of molten chicken fat down the restaraunt’s kitchen sink. In my defense the only instructions the manager gave me was to “get rid of that grease”. Needless to say I wasn’t asked to return for a second day of work. I later learned that it took over a thousand dollars to un-clog the congealed mess.
I was hungover and I tore the tendons in my foot by falling off the sidewalk. Just glad I wasn’t chewing gum at the time, I might have killed myself. :rolleyes:
Admitting to other SDMB posters that I don’t know how to take a quote from the OP and use it in my post. Yes, that is the stupidest thing I’ve done today (ever, I mean).
Having opened myself to ridicule and disgust, I just want to ask dalovindj one thing - what color IS your bone? I think we may have ourselves a money-maker here, if you’re willing to display it in public. Let me know if you need an agent, ok?
Oooh, I’ve done some really dumb things in my life…
One time, about a year and two months ago, I, in a fit of boredom, was pouring aftershave on my desk, and lighting it on fire. In the dark, it looked very cool. So I decided to put more into the flames to keep the coolness flowing.
Baaaad move. My left arm caught fire (luckily, aftershave doesn’t burn too hot), and it took me five seconds to realize it, but five weeks for my armhair to return to normal.
I was living in my first apartment the first year I developed allergies- here in Austin, you tend to develop them the second year you’re exposed to the cedar here, or so the legend goes.
Anyway, the door to my cheap-ass apartment opened inward- a fact which will soon become important in my story.
I was on my way to work- it being about noon, and me being a lazy bum. My girlfriend, at the time, was due to come over in a few hours, so I was on my way to work for a while. As I opened the door, I felt a sneeze building. This was no ordinary sneeze, mind you, but rather the nasal equivalent of a small-scale nuclear exchange. My head reared back, and I let loose…
The next thing I knew, my girlfriend was standing over me, calling my name.
It turned out that when I sneezed, my head snapped forward- right into the edge of the door I was opening. SMACK
I’d apparently been unconscious for a few hours. I ended up with two black eyes and the strangest looking bruise right down the middle of my forehead…
Once, in high school, a buddy and I made a bazooka with some bottle rockets and a piece of aluminum tubing and decided to chase one of our friends down the highway with it. Unfortunately, we forgot to close off one end of the tube, so when I stuck it out of the passenger window, the wind blew the lit bottle rocket into the back seat of the car. Hilarity ensued.
I had a meeting with a customer at a restaurant for luch. He wanted me to take back to my company some samples he had brought so at the end of the lunch I follow him to the parking lot. He told me to open the trunck of my car so he could put the boxes in. I did and when all the boxes had been transfered (they were pretty heavy) I accidentally shut the front door closed. The car was on, the a/c was on, and my handbag and mobil were inside.
He told me to take it easy and trying to make me feel better he started telling me stories of all the people whom that same situation has happened. He came up with the idea of taking all the boxes out, folding the back seat and crawl inside to unlock the rear door. A little note, he was wearing an expensive designer suit, and we were outside in the blazing summer sun. So he manages to unlock the rear door at the expense of his elegant white shirt.
I am VERY embarrassed and apologized profuselly, glad he had being such gentleman. We shake hands and he turns his back to me, I turn and slam the rear door, locking the darn car again! I just thought “somebody please shoot me!”
The porch of the house I grew up in was concrete. There was a porch swing there, and one day in my teenage years, I thought it would be a good idea to stand on it. Balancing, you see. Ninja powers, or testing the hypothesis that adolescent powers could negate physics. Who knows, I certainly didn’t.
Anyway, I stood up, felt pretty balanced, and let go of the chains that suspended the swing. It instantly tipped, and I fell. On my head. Concrete.
There is absolutely no good reason why I did not split my head open, or why I didn’t sustain a major concussion, or why I didn’t break my neck. Perhaps there is something to the negating physics thing.
I was cleaning out the garage, and grabbed a jug of “Washer Fluid” there was only an inch or so of fluid left, so I promply opened the hood of the nearest car and started pouring it in. “Gee, this fluid is awfully dark…”
Turns out, the jug contained the old oil from my last lawnmower change.
When I was about 12, I walked into the kitchen and saw what I thought was a bottle of Mello Yellow (a type of juice, kinda like 7up) anyhow, I took a swig, it was paint! Urghh luckily I didn’t swallow.
I used to be really proud of the fact that I had never been in the hospital, born at home yaddayaddayadda. Sadly I did end up in the hospital once breaking my record. Why? I ran into a tree. No, no car, just ran right into it and busted my lip right open and had to get 3 stitches. sigh.