So NOW I know why they put a warning on the iron.
Tore my ACL chasing my kitty cat for fun up some stairs, couldn’t walk for ten days.
I’m pretty sure it was part of her plan.
My Dad had one of those back in the 70’s! 
One night I was drunk and decided to play with one of my swords. I somehow managed to slice a big chunk of skin off the back of right leg. Did you know that wounds bleed more freely when you’re drunk? I had to duct tape several pads of gauze over that hole to stop the bleeding.
I haven’t finished my coffee and misread the beginning of you post as “An acquaintance and I were killed some time…”
ripped off a toe playing basketball barefooted.
burned my face and lots of hair while cleaning the furnace combustion area and forgetting to shut off the gas. I snuffed the pilot light, then, when done cleaning, relit it, and the gas came on immediately, creating a fireball.
threw gasoline used for cleaning parts into a furnace, thinking it was just diesel oil. scarred hands.
tried to negotiate a moped through a woods path with roots and ruts to save time. permanent damage to knee.
turned off wrong circuit breaker while wiring up a new recepticle for a dryer. The style of plug had changed since the last time that apartment had an electric dryer so it needed a different one. the boxes in the basement were mislabeled, but I didn’t check the circuit after shutting off the (wrong) breaker.
dropped a jar of jelly (I was 4 at the time) and tried to catch it with my foot so it wouldn’t break. lost a toenail.
got mad because I was called to dinner while still playing outside. wouldn’t come. got locked out. put hand through window. scars. 4 years old, again.
tried to follow my big brother down the Mapleton hill on my bicycle after he told me to go home instead. hit patch of loose gravel, woke up in hospital with bad cut and concussion. Bike never seen again. 5 years old, maybe 6.
Were you ever described as a ‘rambunctious’ child? 
I dropped a 60 pound cannonball on my left pinky finger when I was in the 8th grade. It’s now deformed and about a half inch shorter than my right pinky.
Great username/post combo, at least for these two parts of the post. 
As a preteen, I was playing with a powerful slingshot. Found an old plastic Scope cap full of dirt, which seemed like it would make a shotgun-like projectile. Didn’t stop to think how it got there; turns out it had not been unscrewed, but broken off the bottle, and was still full of jagged glass when it tumbled out of the sling pocket and slammed into my left wrist full-force. Still have a scar.
As an adult, was cutting straps off a pallet of copier paper boxes with a classic round-handled X-acto knife. When finished, I set the knife up on top of the pallet.
A few moments later, as it rolled off, I instinctively put out my hand and caught it – speared bladefirst into the center of my palm. It did not hurt initially; I spent about a full second looking at it and thinking, “Well, this is classic.”
I dislocated my shoulder reaching for a pillow.
Walking up the cellar steps, didn’t notice I was at the top and the door was closed. Hit the door with my foot, broke three toes.
Less than two weeks later, hit the same foot on a book that was just lying on the floor.
I walked into a plate glass window while texting.
I was in the weight room at the local high school during the summer. I wasn’t old enough to be there but some of my friends were so I tagged along. I got tired and sat down on the nearest thing I could find. Turned out it was the leg press weight stack. While someone was in mid rep. About 2 seconds after I sat down, my right butt cheek was pinched between the 150 pounds he was pressing and the remainder of the weight stack.
Turned into the prettiest bruise you could imagine - a rainbow paled in comparison. Too bad I couldn’t show it off.
Once leaned too far forward in my computer chair and fell out. Caught a caster arm right between the cheeks. My butt was sore for a week!
Just this morning I was attempting to buckle the strap on my sandal when I managed to jam the metal prong part of the buckle (you know, the piece that goes through the little hole in the strap?) under my left thumbnail. It bled like crazy, I had to change clothes before I could leave for work. And I hit the space bar with my left thumb, so typing hurts like a bitch.
Which one, a Fuzzbuster or a smashed face/broken schnozzola?
Then there was the time I was cutting my grass and the mower wasn’t running right. I looked down to notice the cable on the spark plugged wasn’t on all the way. So I turned off the mower to fix it, right?
:rolleyes:Wrong!
ZAP! OW! Fuuuuck!
I got a shock from our old motor mower that way, more or less. It had a metal strip to short out the magneto ignition when you needed to stop it, with a thick rubber sleeve around the strip to push on, but (as I learned), this didn’t mean you couldn’t touch the metal strip by accident. ZAP!
Then there was this time in physics class where we had this experiment with a coil, a capacitor (both large healthy specimens), a 1.5V battery and an oscilloscope. Hmm, not working, better fiddle with the wiring, I don’t need to unplug such a low-voltage power source do I? ZAP! (The coil thought otherwise)
I broke my finger putting a leash on my dog. I took him outside for a walk and was putting his leash on. I was holding the loop with my pinky and ring finger on my left hand. Just as I clipped it on his collar he saw something and tried to run. I pulled back on the leash and it twisted the two fingers snapping my ring finger. Two surgeries, screws, pins, physical therapy, etc.
I’ve told this story before, but my Dad used to have a Tilley kerosene lamp in his garage (no electricity out there). One time I went out to fetch something from the garage, I thought the lamp was burning a little dim, or I just like to meddle, and I decided to give it a couple of pumps. You’re meant to steady the base of the lamp while you pump, not put your hand on the chimney which, after all, has spent an hour or two sitting a couple of inches above a nice clean blue flame.
It actually took a second or two for the sensation to penetrate, and it almost felt intensely cold. If I’d been better at first aid thirty-eight years ago I’d have sat with my hand under a running cold tap for at least half an hour, but I wasn’t and I didn’t. By next day (and sleeping that night was no fun at all) I had about a hundred small blisters all over the base of my thumb and palm, which over the next few days joined up into one massive one. But fortunately there’s not a trace of it left now.
I don’t know if this one counts coz technically mum did it to me - we were getting ready to go out to a party and mum was preparing a salad at the sink. I had just gone out to collect the eggs and was washing them beside her. Unfortunately I dropped one and tried to catch it - mum tried to catch it as well - only she had a staysharp knife in her hand at the time. At some stage I fainted and they decided to take me to the district nurse who said I would probably need stitches but because the doctor would not be there until Thursday (this was Sunday) this was not an option and she had a go with super glue and lots of bandage. we were only half an hour late to the party and I got tell everyone how mum attacked me with a knife so it wasn’t all bad.
I fall over a lot. Like once or twice a day. There are various reasons which I can do nothing about it but I tend to hope I don’t go arse up in public. Of course it happens and for some reason I end up having frail little old ladies trying to help me up :smack: I am a big girl and they would not have hope so I end up having to get myself up while fending off someone’s nanna because I sure as hell don’t want to injure them.