People think I’m weird for never speaking to anyone, ever. But look at all the stuff that happens when you talk to people. It’s just not worth it.
He asked four questions.
Two were to his teenaged patient, asking where he goes (and will go) to school.
Two were to the dad, asking where he lived and what he does for a living.
If there was something about the dentist’s attitude that suggested he’s a racist, fine, I’ll trust that it was there. The questions themselves are perfectly normal small talk.
The questions seem pretty normal to me, and I wouldn’t have thought of race at all. I’m South Asian, FWIW. There aren’t a lot of small talk-y type questions you can ask someone when you don’t know them that well–where they live/what they do/where they go to school seems par for the course.
Were you already getting a “subtle racist” vibe before this exchange?
Because if not, he was most likely made uncomfortable by your vague answer combined with your deep stare, which could explain the vibe.
On the other hand, it is very possible he was already giving off a racist vibe, although the questions themselves seem perfectly normal.
Worst case scenario is that he may be a bit racist but not really know it. Racism is insidious in that it’s not always deliberate, and it requires conscientious thought about your own thoughts. It’s difficult. Even in the worst case, he doesn’t want to be racist, and the best thing you can do is interact with him so that he sees beyond your color.
Don’t fool yourself though. You aren’t immune to it either. Try picturing the same line of questioning coming from another black man. Does your interpretation of that exchange change?
As for overt racism, that’s much worse. Those people don’t want to correct themselves. Those people think you are less than them because of the color of your skin. They want to make you uncomfortable anyplace that might put you ahead. I hear a lot of southerners claiming that there is more racism in the north, but it’s just hidden. It’s utter bullshit.