I think it is a normal urge for us women. That “last call” of from our empty ovaries. I got it at 37 and thought better of it.
All these responses seem to mirror my own feelings, from “don’t pass up this opportunity” to “take a chance” to “may not be prudent” to “DON’T DO IT”. These have been good to read- none of them are offensive to me.
::NOTHING NEW TO YOU ALERT, JUST COMMENTARY:: Nothing wrong with a child, but they don’t stay babies for long. Eventually, they become dreaded teens and dealing with all that at age 55 won’t be fun. Also, your life changes dramatically from being free to do as you wish to accommodating a small being. Expenses climb geometrically as they grow: nannies, babysitters, stroller, crib (etc, etc), clothing, food, bail, counseling, traffic tickets, insurance. . .it just never stops.
I just got done paying child support.
Stay away from me!
Are you suggesting that as soon as women find out they’re pregnant, they regret it? Because this has not been my experience, and I don’t know where you’re getting that from.
Does this commonly happen to guys to? Because the last thing I need is to approach 40 (good grief, that’s only a little over 5 years away!) and suddenly want kids.
I’m pretty sure it’s hormonal. I’m teetering on the edge of menopause and suddenly I’m paying more attention to babies than I ever did before.
I’m 51, my husband is 53, and our son just turned 12. He’s teetering on the brink of adolescence and we are loving every minute of it. I feel as though having a child when I was older has kept me younger in outlook and motivated me to stay physically fit. At the same time, the maturity, patience and financial stability that have come with age have made me a far better parent than I would have been if I had given birth at 25 or 30.
Whatever - I’d be the last person on earth to try to talk the OP into having a child, and I am a vociferous defender of being child-free. But Chefguy is making it sound like becoming a parent when you are older is guaranteed to be dreary indeed. That may be the experience some people have. But there are plenty of older parents out there whose experience provide ample evidence that it can be enriching beyond anything you might imagine as a childless person.
It’s quite unlikely that her hormones playing havoc at 40-- but it’s a feeling that a lot of my career-minded friends have/had as they approached 40. For most of them, it was a passing regret, but a few of them had children-- all healthy.
One of my colleagues/friends had her daughter at age 44, and her son the following year. They are both healthy and bright. However, she had been in a committed relationship with the father of her children for about 5 years before having her daughter.
All hope is not lost, but don’t jump into motherhood without thinking it through very seriously. It’s a major life change- people who haven’t gone through it really have no idea.
A friend of mine went through something similar, and she started keeping a diary of “baby thoughts”, where she’d write on the days that she had the urge and how strong it was. After a year she reviewed the diary and found out that she had these urges only a few times. She figured that if she couldn’t maintain the desire to raise a child for 10% of the year, she really shouldn’t have kids.
You could try something similar - it may help you decide one way or the other.
ETA: edited for clarity.
Absolutely and good for you. I’m just pointing out the possible downside in this baby love-fest.
What a lovely post. It was certainly encouraging to me as I embark on this journey rather late in my life. I, too, feel the sense that I’ll be a better parent now than I would have been in my 20s or 30s. Let’s hope that turns out to be true! 
If you want to stay kid-free stay away from this movie.
[quote=“Shayna, post:15, topic:538675”]
Girlfriend, as you well know, I’m 48 years old and in the process of adopting through the foster system. You don’t have to be fertile to have a child if you really want one, any time you want one. Ain’t nothin’ unusual about what you’re feeling.
I wish that were true! I would LOVE to adopt a baby; they would take one look at my finances and projected income and laugh. Unless I meet Mr. Right this year (I’m 42,) I will probably never have or adopt a baby and it breaks my heart every day. 
Well, apart from how controversial this opinion tends to be (at least when people start applying it to those other than themselves, which I have not seen you do), just remember that as a guy, you can have wives and sire kids 'til the day you croak.
In some cases, 'til the second you croak… 
And I think it’s a good idea to point that out. The problem with compulsions like this is that they are often fleeting. I’m not saying people don’t have legitimate desires to have babies, but if you suddenly go from not wanting something to wanting it, I would be suspicious of that change. And since it’s a long term commitment, I’d want to make sure I was absolutely sure.
I mean I’ve blasted people who hate iPads but suddenly feel they must have them when they see them in a store. A [del]baby[/del]child is an even bigger commitment.
The problem is the OP doesn’t want a child because she wants a child. She wants a child because she fears being left out.
I know that people have children for various reasons, I hope wanting a child because you are “missing out” is a valid one for her.
Male, 48, no kids, no wife, no worries.
I don’t know if my experience is common, though. And if I had met a different woman in my 30s, I might be a father now, and I think that could have been cool. I just can’t say I feel any tremendous sense of loss for not having had kids.
I boil it down to this:
Should I consider having a child and finding out if it was worth it (and from everything I hear it seems to be the best/hardest/most fulfilling purpose a parent has ever taken on), or not have a child and potentially regret not ever taking the chance.
That is a huge question. Huge. Like, mind-blowingly huge.
Man, I need to hear from some parents who regret their kids- that would help make this a more evenly weighted debate for me.