Suggesting a student go and jump off a cliff - is it a crime?

The BBQ Pit
#1

:::::::stomping onto the BBQ Pit stage:::::::::
skweeeeeeeeeee (microphone feedback)
thump-gnnnn-thumpthumpthump (attempting to adjust the microphone to the right height)
krrrfffffff(still attempting to adjust the microphone height)
klang-skweeeeeeeeeeeee-PKCHHHHHHHH (kick and then shoot the microphone)

It’s been one of those days.

One of those days when you just feel like ripping some moronic student’s balls out via his throat.

I hate him with a passion, he hates me with a passion.

See, for him, women shouldn’t teach. We should be home, barefoot and pregnant, and be seen when need be (rather than heard at all).

Again today, he got in my face screaming insults because I had dared to start the tutorial before he got there (he was 20 mintues late).

Indeed, how DARE I?

I should mention the man is from Afghanistan. A proud supporter of the Taliban. Since I’ve handed back his (crappy) midterm, he has threatened to complain about me to the dean (go ahead, fucker), and claim I’m racist. Yeah, that’s me. Racist professoral TA bitch.

He’s been kicked out of two universities so far. I’m sure this will be the third. He should die a painful death.

Just to make my life miserable, I came home to walk the dogs, and met an Afghan Hound in the woods. This is the universe’s way to poke fun at me, I guess. Well, the universe can go fuck itself, too. (Where do YOU think the milkyway came from???)

::::::stomping off the BBQ Pit stage::::::::

(sorry this is a weak rant, but (*@$?&!, I’m not even able to put it all down into words.)
(Where IS my beer???)

#2

Damn, what a fuckrag. Do you think you’d get in trouble if you rolled that term paper up and stuck it where the sun don’t shine? If not…

#3

8.5

With a +1 for the original opening, for a final rating of 9.5

Bravo.

#4

Elenfair how can you say such a thing about a support of the Taliban, I mean they are the guardians of such a diverse cultural history…oh, wait, they blew it all that up. Um…If not held back by others their future is limitless…No, wait, their laws also kill that…Um, can someone help me here, I want to take Elenfair to task for obviously not giving into a man’s neanderthalic images of the world, cultural respect and all that, but it seems he has none to respect, and his turban is obviously wrapped to tight to let blood get to his brain.

Ah well, when they kick him out Elenfair, may you get to be the punter…just don’t do it barefoot soccer style…he’d like seeing you barefoot too much…wear army boots or cleats.

#5

I’m guessing that as a Taliban supporter he would expect your entire body to be covered. Barefoot may be considered to risque.

#6

Smile cheerfully knowing that you are his better, and wave politely when he’s gone. (Subtle sabatoge too, if you are in the mood for some laughs) I wouldn’t suggest the cliff jumping thing though. It might not be illegal, but these days, it would almost certainly violate some civil right the little bastard has and then the ACLU will get involved and THEN you’ll wish you were in a cell in Sing-Sing sharing toiletries with Greta The Love Sponge.

#7

rolls eyes

He’s a fuckwad. If he routinely comes in late, start giving pop quizzes. Really easy ones. (a friend of mine had a chem class where there was a review the Saturday before the final. The entire class had begged for it. Four people out of 400 showed up. The prof looked around for a moment and sat down. “You know, my wife Marcia made me the best pancakes this morning. She’s a wonderful woman, Marcia is. I told her, ‘You know, Marcia, I’m so glad you’re here to take care of me.’ I really appreciated Marcia’s pancakes this morning.” And then went on with the review. On the final a 5 point extra credit question was, “What is my wife’s name?”)

Run and mention this to your dean before he does. Sometimes its the first person whining wins, and you don’t want him to be first at all.
Wait? He yelled at you? Call security. To quote asecurity officer talking to a similarly hounded employee of my school, “You don’t have to take that shit. That’s what security is for.” Have his ass hauled out of class.

Make a group project. Find a girl or two in the class who are willing and able to hold their own against the asswipe and make the group from hell. Assign a leader other than him.

Find a few appropriate feministic essays and send them home as a reading assignment with a paper due on them. (Hey, my Shakepeare prof pulled this, you can too.)

And seriously get security on him. You don’t have to take abuse. He can’t behave like a mature student and disrupts your class? Boot 'im. Every single time he pulls shit, call security and have him removed.

#8

How about:
“Excuse me, but you are no longer in Afghanistan, pal, you’re in America. And in America, men don’t need to pick on women just to show they have balls. In fact, men here aren’t wimps like you Taliban supporters. You’re all so afraid of women that you have to keep them down, because you KNOW that they have more balls than you ever will. If you don’t like it here, I’ll be happy to send you right back to Afghanistan, you fucker. REAL men aren’t afraid of women.”

Sorry if I got kind of carried away there. I admit it: I am a feminist-not a radical bra burning male hater, but a feminist, nonetheless. I am to feminism what Esprix is to gay rights, I guess you could say.

#9

Eh eh… thanks all…

I get to see MrFuckwad today again. I think I might throttle him.

Guin - I’ve tried the “welcome to Canada, dickhead” and he got into a (one sided) shouting match. About how I needed to respect him.

Today, I plan to have security nearby and have him escorted out of my classroom if he acts up. What a shithead!

Aaaaaaaaaargh!

On the bright side, he probably will never procreate. I doubt any good ol’ canadian gal will marry this… errr… man.

stomp stomp stomp

E.

#10

That’s the move to make IMHO.
Nothing would be more satisfying than to see him dragged out.

If you were really sneaky like me, you would set him up.

Do normal everyday that you just KNOW will set him off. I see something like this:
Start wearing short skirts and clothes that he will hate. I don’t know what subject you teach, but find a way to constantly slip in points about the great leadership this country has with Hillary Clinton and other female Senators. Any little jibes about Isreal striving to defend her borders would also probably be effective. Wait until you have a graded test to return to the class, then pick a day where he comes in late. Do the easy pop-quiz thing so that he misses it, or doesn’t have enough time to finish it. Then pass out the tests, make sure his F is in big bold writing. Refer to him by some innocous sounding version of his name, but one that is sure to set him off. Every time he interupts, use your Ms. Manners voice to inform him “that in America, we raise our hand when we want to talk.”
Make sure you have security close by:)
I don’t know the legalities, but you may want to find out about a video or tape recorder.

If you do tape it, I’ll gladly send $15 for my very own copy:)

#11

that might be a little incongruous seeing as how Elenfair has already said that she is from Canada.

#12

Unfortunately, he will probably have his pick of willing brides from outside of Canada’s borders. Who knows - maybe he’s a real catch in Afghanistan?
As for the OP, I would normally suggest finding out what his culture finds particularly offensive and doing it in front of him repeatedly (like maybe staring him down, etc.), but this guy sounds like he’s ready to go up a clock tower. I agree with the others; get the dean and security involved in this.

#13

D’oh! I didn’t know you were from Canada, my bad.

Anyhoo, it’s still the North America, the continent.

:o:

#14

I’m flabergasted, all I can say is what an* arsehole* the worst possible kind of arsehole. Elenfair I’m really impressed you haven’t pushed him off a cliff yet.

Hee Hee count me in!

#15

Well, it didn’t make it on tape, guys…

BUT… I did set him up. I wore a short skirt. With a short-sleaved shirt. AND I brought one of my dogs in training to school with me.

Needless to say, he had a fit about (and I quote) “My lack of morals and virtues.”

Security was waiting in my classroom :smiley: They escorted him out. Surprisingly, he tripped on something on the way out and landed flat on his nose… The two security dudes looked at each other and said, “I thought you were gonna catch him…” Of course, the fact that he tripped on another student’s well-placed-schoolbag is just an incidental detail…

I’m SOOOOOOOOO happy! He’s out for the rest of the term! Woohoo! I was told he can take the final, though, but I asked the department head to mark his exam. I ain’t touchin’ it with a ten and a half foot pole!

Ah-hahahaha… he can KISS my Canadian ASS! (ewwwwww)

To all members of the Taliban - let me know the next time you blow something up, I’ll gladly send you this asshole, wrapped up in explosives. It’ll blow, and make me feel a hell of a lot better.

As for him being “quite the catch” in Afghanistan, I doubt it. Well, unless the interested parties are chickens or something… but even then, I think chicken would have much better taste in mates…(Oh, what a pun)

::::: doing the victory dance ::::::

E.

#16

And you didn’t get it on tape? Bummer.

WAY TO GO! On the rest of it though. joins in the victory dance Lets hear it for lack of morals and virtues!

#17

:slight_smile:

#18

I so love a Pit thread with a happy ending. Is the final set in stone? Perhaps you could put in a lot of questions that you only covered in the classroom? This guy is not worthy of human privileges. He’s not worthy of breathing privileges.

While it would have been…interesting…to try to mess with his mind, I’m glad that you don’t have to deal with him for the rest of the semester.

#19

HA HA HA HA HA! I love it! Just love it!

#20

Thanks fer yar support (you bastards)(hey, it is the pit)

The final will contain all sorts of lov-errr-ly questions that will screw with his little brains. I know one of them will have to do with women in the ancient world, and how some of them really held their own in warfare (Boddicea, Jeanne d’Arc, ya know, them big mean broads.)

He should have a shit fit. I’ll be rather happy.

Bad news is, he is coming after me via the university senate, for racial discrimination. It was suggested that I file something against him for sexual harrassment and verbal assault.

I think I will.

And so, the saga continues… saw him in the halls yesterday, near our office… If looks could kill, man, I’d be 6ft under and then some. I bet his mind was racing with evil thoughts such as “Damn canadian laws. You can’t stone a woman here. Even if she flaunts her lack of morality. Daaaamn canadian laws!”

Today, I’m bringing in donuts for everyone. We’re havin’ a celebration.

Best,

E.