On Sunday former professional soccer player and current manager of the Welsh international soccer team, Gary Speed, killed himself.
This has shocked and saddened many people over here in the UK and beyond, where he was a well-known and widely-respected player, who had just started to build up a reputation as an international manager.
It has also caused a lot of confusion as there were absolutely no outward signs and no discernable reasons. I am not a psychiatrist, but I wouldn guess that in terms of being in a low risk group for suicide he would tick just about every box - married with young children, currently and previously very successful, wealthy, no known history of depression, well-liked, a reputation for being level-headed,etc, etc.
My question is, how common is it for someone in a low risk group to kill themselves with no external signs or known triggers? Is it as most imagine, almost completely unheard of?
This is all from my experience, so you must take it with a grain of salt.
I wake up every morning and decide whether I am going to kill myself that day. I have the most profound sorrow and suffer deeply almost 100% of the time. If you looked at me, you might not see the clues. But people who know me, have known me a long time, they see the darkness and hopelessness I am feeling. I go to work, I do errands, I watch TV. It’s getting harder to “get up” for anything so I have been isolating recently. If you don’t understand the deep emotions behind suicide, then you probably never will understand such an act as the one you mentioned. I understand it. I don’t think this type of behavior is as rare as we would like to believe. I guess I’m saying you either get it or you don’t. Sorry, not very satisfying or helpful answer.
The voice actress Mary Kay Bergman (aka Shannen Cassidy) was a successful voice actress being first the official voice of Snow White for Disney, then stumbling into voicing all the female characters for South Park (notably Mrs. Cartman). She enjoyed all the huge successes that show garnered in its meteoric rise, right up to & including the successful South Park motion picture.
Then, at the height of her career, she blew her brains out. Turns out she suffered from being bipolar & clinically depressed her whole life but kept it hidden from everyone…
The biggest risk factor for suicide is suicidal thoughts, not income level or family situation. I suspect Mr. Speed had good PR and very good privacy, not a total lack of symptoms.
Best wishes to his family. I understand why people do it, but I have a hard time imagining a worse way to lose someone.
I’m an RN, though not a mental health one, but in my contacts with mental health professionals, I’ve heard multiple times that a non-trivial percentage (30% is coming to mind right now, though I don’t have a cite), of suicides show no detectable signs beforehand. In this, as in so many things, sometimes people and their motives are just mysteries.
beckwall, are you seeing a psychiatrist? Peopledo get healed from clinical depression, with medication and therapy, and perhaps hospitalization for a while to heal from the agonizing wounds.
You can take steps to end your agony–even if now you don’t believe it will ever be possible.
I have serious bipolar disease, and have been rescued from suicide more times than I can remember. There is no such thing as Fate.
Well, this is from my experience so listen carefully.
In July of this year, after being severely depressed for a long time, and when I received a big disappointment, I felt so trapped and dissatisfied with life, I attempted suicide, and hated myself because I didn’t ‘succeed’.
I’ve been to that dark place, I’ve felt those deep emotions and not only did I feel hopeless, I felt my existance was just making the world worse.
What did I do? I FORCED myself to engage with the world, even though everything felt pointless and unrewarding, and eventually, over time, the bright colours of life returned, I could feel pleasure again.
Here are some more suggestions that will help.
[ul]
[li]Learn more about CBT[/li][li]Exercise with a buddy outside, and away from the gym. [/li][li]Expose your eyes to lots of sunlight outside, don’t wear sunglasses.[/li][li]Volunteer[/li][/ul]
I haven’t followed this story, but anecdotally, a friend of mine in college hung himself, and it was ruled “accidental suicide” (which I didn’t find out until months later). It turned out to be a result of autoerotic asphyxia; he hadn’t intended to die at all.