Hey, Patricia Arquette has a healthy set of her own. 
History Detectives: A black guy, a hot woman, a not-black guy, and a not-hot woman go to dull, ugly places, meet dull, ugly people who own stuff, and tell them about their stuff.
A handsome white guy, an attractive white woman, a dazed white guy, a nerdy white woman, and a dog drive around. The don’t have jobs or a home. None of them ever gets laid or even seems to want to. The dazed white guy is cowardly. He and the dog are usually hungry.
Everywhere they go, crimes are committed. Luckily, they always solve them.
Scooby Doo
A guy, his girlfriend (or beard), the guy’s brother, his neurotic wife, and a retard drive around in Depression Era America, robbing banks of what little money they have and killing a lot of people–Bonnie & Clyde
Big Domino Story
Okay, so there’s like these monkeys that worship this big domino that teaches them how to beat all the other monkeys up. Okay, forget that. A couple million years later a bunch of spacemen find another big domino buried on the moon but all it does is screech at them. Okay, nevermind. Forget about the big domino. A whole lot of years later some other spacemen are on a flying space sperm with a wacko computer that’s so annoying that you just want to stick a big domino up it’s cyber butt. One spaceman dies and the other get sucked into what Las Vegas would look like if you drove through it at a million miles an hour. Then he checks into a hotel where another big domino makes him spill his wine. And makes a baby.
Stupid big domino.
Scrubs: Doctors of questionable skill and even more questionable sexual orientation battle with questions of medicine and questions of the heart in a questionably funny sitcom.
This rich lady throws a party and one of the guests talks politics, which everyone thinks is rude of him. He goes from there to his friend’s house, who doesn’t get along with his wife, and from there to a party where they have a chained bear. I guess it goes on like that for another 1,200 pages, and Napolen invades, but I only got as far as the party with the bear.
Here’s a story about a snot-nosed punk.
There’s this little snot-nosed punk, right? Who gets lured in by some slimy dirtbag he meets at church. It’s not long before this dirtbag, who goes to prison for some filthy-ass shit, has this kid competely under his control. First off, he cons this punk into helping him escape from prison. Next thing you know these two have teamed up, and soon our little punk is sportin’ some serious bling. He’s starts pimpin’ all over town, and so that’s what people start calling him on the streets: “Pip.”
He apparently has serious women issues, though, cuz he falls in love with some bitch who treats him like shit and uses his ass. He’s too fucked up to notice, though.
Years go by, this punk’s living the high life, all the while kicking his family to the curb. Next thing you know, though, the feds have wised up about all that loot he’s flashing around town, and his jig is up.
Now this loser’s broke and he gets real sick, but he ain’t got no health care, so his schmuck of a brother-in-law comes to help him out.
Now you know ol’ Pip needs to eat and pay some bills, so he gets a job as a clerk at Herbert’s down the way. And remember that bitch he was with earlier? She’s back. She says she’s changed her low-down ways, but she hasn’t. The end.
What do I call it? “Great Expectations!”
A girl and her dog solve crimes and her semi-robotic uncle takes credit.
Heh heh. Nice job.
I always had a knack for book reports. 
That actually sounds interesting to me, just a different type of movie. A “stupid” description might be:
Little girl (played by an actress who is obviously in her late teens) and her yappy little dog live unhappily on a farm (clearly inside a Hollywood sound stage) until a tornado picks up their house. Instead of utterly destroying the tiny, flimsy building and its inhabitants, it sets them down in a country inhabited largely* by dwarves – who relentlessly sing at them. The antagonist appears in the form of a wicked witch, complete with bright green face, broom, and pointy hat. She is opposed by a ditzy middle-aged broad who floats around in a bubble and sends the little girl on a trip during which she is joined by three very strange adult males (who also sing at her). The little girl asks a mighty wizard to help her get home, but instead he commands her to assassinate the powerful wicked witch, which of course terrifies her but then she ends up doing more or less by accident. But the wizard turns out to be a an old con artist who was trying to get rid of the little girl, permanently (at least he doesn’t sing). But that’s OK, because the little girl actually didn’t need him to get home in the first place – and the supposedly good broad knew that the whole time!
The capper: none of it really matters because it was all just a dream.
- heh.
Alice in Wonderland: Little girl falls down a hole, meets animals that recite poetry, goes to a tea party, and disrupts a legal proceeding, leading to an assault by playing cards.
The capper: none of it really matters because it was all just a dream.
Huckleberry Finn: Little southern boy helps runaway slave by taking him deeper and deeper into the South. Just when things look hopeless, the boy’s companion from a previous novel appears out of nowhere and takes over the story, turning a serious novel into a zany farce and stripping the slave of whatever dignity he had gained, only to reveal at the end that he had been legally free the whole time. Ha-ha!
The Hobbit: Little person with hairy feet goes on an adventure with a crotchety wizard (complete with pointy hat) and 13 largely interchangeable little people (without hairy feet). He talks to a dragon that is eventually killed by somebody else. There’s also a big, scary battle with giant birds and goblins and shit, but the hero is unconscious through most of it. He goes home and lives “happily to the end of his days.” At least it looks like there won’t be a sequel!
A kid goes to an exclusive school. At school, he plays lots of video games, especially one with a giant and a drinking game. He plays a sport that’s a combination of tag and capture the flag. The kid finally beats the giant’s drinking game, then gets a team for the sport. He wins every match. When he’s good at the sport, he goes to more school and plays more video games. He wins every game.
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
The Sound of Music: Singing nun becomes governess for five Austrian kids (or maybe 12, it doesn’t really matter) who know nothing about music. In three minutes, she has them improvising complex multi-part harmonies. They then escapee from the Nazis by hiking north over the Alps. That’s right, north. Where Germany is.
Pride and Prejudice: A young woman, who knows that she’ll probably end up destitute if she doesn’t marry well, alienates and spurns practically every eligible man who pays attention to her, including one rich guy who has the nerve to point out that her family is obnoxious (which is true), and a distant cousin who will inherit her father’s estate. This understandably infuriates her mother, although it doesn’t seem to bother her father (actually nothing much seems to bother her father).
She also neglects to warn her family that a young man of their acquaintance is an irresponsible cad until after he runs off with her youngest sister, with no intention of marrying her.
She then finds out that the rich guy that she hates is even richer than she knew, and has a big fancy house in the country, so she decides she likes him after all, and marries him.
This computer hacker is somewhere IN the matrix so a few guys go IN the matrix to take him OUT of the matrix but he has to go back IN the matrix to fight the guys who are OUT of the matrix and …
Aw, screw it.
:dubious: Um, was this supposed to be hard?
Or was it supposedly needing a spoiler box a joke?
- TBJ
A gregarious man goes on a riverboat trip in Africa. He paddles up the river, hears some native rhythms, and meets a crazy white man who promptly dies. He heads back down the river and goes home.
A Swiss Student goes to University in Germany, and thinks he knows everything. He tries to make a new friend, but runs home. His friend follows him to Switzerland and makes his life miserable. Finally, the student agrees to set his former roomie up with a date, but it goes wrong and the guy holds the student responsible, so he continues to make his life worse and worse until they die.
A backwards mountain girl moves to town and amuses her rich, invalid cousin by milking goats; cousin’s health improves through the magical power of goat’s milk. Brought to you by the Swiss Goat’s Milk Council.