Cell phones are prolific in this technological world in which we live. A convenience to most, a terror to some, and for the few luddites who refuse to own one, a point of pride. We all know that. We also know that the market has reached saturation and that for phone companies to continue to grow, that they must scalp customers from other companies. Such is the free market system. As is true with the phones themselves, advertising for cellular service is prolific. Radio and television, internet popup and banner. It’s all there. But Suncom, you can now get off my dick.
See, it’s 846pm on Wednesday night and I’m preparing to go on a week and a half’s leave so I can find a new apartment and a new roommate. As I cook my supper and wait for my e-mail to load through Yahoo, I hear (overpowering Interpol on WinAmp) the swarthy voice of Harry Connick Jr. “Welcome to Suncom Wireless, where we have the calling plan for you.” What…the…fuck!?!?!
I go back into my room and angrily grab the mouse. I click pause on WinAmp to make sure it’s not something on the MP3 I hadn’t noticed before. No, the voice is there. I turn down the speaker to make sure it’s not something coming from outside (as the temperature is a pleasant 72 degrees Fahrenheit tonight.) Nope, it’s not a neighbor with a television ad. What…the…fuck!?!?!
I return to my mail program and notice a banner ad at the top. I think to myself: “Self? Could it be an audio clip imbedded in this banner ad?” I run my mouse pointer over it, and I’ll be goddamned. Harry Connick Jr’s ugly mug pops up and starts telling me about how great Suncom is. Not simply content to have an audio file embedded in this goddamn banner ad, it has a video file as well. What…the…fuck!?!?!
So I dial 611 on my Suncom phone in an attempt to contact customer support. I merely wish to voice my belief that this is stupid as all fuck and that it might be a good idea to take the video off at the minimum, the audio off as well. I get the automated system… I hang up. Tomorrow, I will have Suncom off my dick, and phone, and Cingulair will have gained another customer.
Fushj00mang’s reaction is a lot of things, but I wouldn’t call it overreacting unless he’s eating some large early cancel fee to switch–video/audio ads that overpower my chosen music are among the easiest way to get me to boycott things, no matter how good they are otherwise.
I hate those things. I’m browsing innocently, speakers on at normal volume so I can hear the MSN blinkies when people message me, and then a voice YELLS at me to subscribe to this awesome new service!
People who come up with this kind of idea should be punished with a thousand paper cuts and then be thrown into shark-infested waters.
Now I use Firefox instead of IE and I find I’m not as angry a person as I once was…
While driving on a busy 3-lane blvd., suddenly and abruptly, traffic stopped! A driver three cars up stopped for a Jaywalker of the same nationality. Hurridly, two automobiles went around the driver, leaving me directly behind her. 3 blocks down, without warning, again this woman stopped for another mid-block Jaywalker. There was again, an obvious commonality between the driver of the vehicle and the scofflaw. I guess the driver felt good about stopping for people of her own ethnicity. Nevermind there are crosswalks at every intersection. To bad there were not any Jaywalkers on the day she got her License, the DMV instructor could have informed her not to stop or better yet, flunked her.
If Yahoo email is free and the banners are there to support the service is it really that onerous to listen to an audio clip in exchange for getting your free email service?
Re “get off my dick” isn’t it normal metaphorically for the “dickee” to be the oppressed party, not the “dicker”.
