Sunday Morning Puzzle #50: Attack of the...Poets?

Something strange is going on. Very strange indeed.

Saturday, June 1st:

Special Agent Jones appears at your door. “We need your help again,” he says.

It seems the Government is very concerned about all the spies in the area. The four you’ve nabbed in the last month are only a few of many. Every time a spy is caught another seems to be ready and waiting. For the spies to be this organized, there must be a central command base for operatives nearby.

“We’ve been looking for this mysterious headquarters, dubbed ‘Base X’, for quite a while,” Jones explains. "If we are able to find it we could shut down this whole network of spies for good.

“Recently the Government got the surprising tip that Base X is located at the Downtown Poetry Center. The famous poet Cristopher Quentin Bellows runs this wannabe bard’s paradise. We’ve been keeping an eye on the place and even tapped the fax machines. Wednesday, this fax was received from a suspicious source:”

++++++++++

OF romances

muses may interrupt: “i Do”
love’s heart Asunder
Everything gone

marriages Despairing and Fallen
ALas!
madam Happiness proclaims:
“Lover, promise, Return OUr Fantasies!”

why Lovers fear times Passionate?

REach casanova
o’ BE a Masterful romeo

REjoice! Hurrah!
OUr pair Rejoin
embracing, Alive, kissing

MY Dream’s Rebuilt
Devotions
lover HUgs lover
Truth TO BE foretold
romantic’s Envisioned

--------------------------------Johannessy Walters STevens

++++++++++

“Looks like a poem…a very bad poem,” you say.

"We think it’s a code. Yet, our codebreakers find no anagrams, no letter substitutions, no mirror, no backward or up/down encoding. Nothing! They’ve rearranged and otherwise played with the strange capital letters. They’ve snooped around the letters that could be capitalized, but are not. Our computers found no relevant anagrams for “Johannessy Walters Stevens” or for “Cristopher Quentin Bellows”. Jones sighs. “It seems hopeless.”

“Poetry codes?!” you mutter wearily. “Whatever happened to the good old days of the simple cryptogram, or the code where A=1, B=2…?”

“Those good old days are long gone,” replies Jones. “These are not your father’s encrypted espionage directives.”

At that remark you both share a hearty laugh. You are glad Agent Jones is such a good friend.

Jones continues, “Once Bellows received that poem, he faxed back another the very next day. Here it is:”

++++++++++

SNowy storm

Thunder And a Sense
OF Arctic Whiteouts
frost
Wintery Ice, i run–sleet!
a weather igloo
White AS A Pillow
Where blows Snowystorm?

BLeak nightmare OF coldness
o’ Chill, chill…
WHat blizzards Are
who Can Answer?
Snows occur

---------------------------Cristopher Quentin BEllows

++++++++++

“Our codebreakers again failed. We questioned Bellows and he accused us of slander. He says they’re just poems…and frankly, we have little evidence to the contrary.”

“They must be codes because this stuff could never be legitamate poetry,” you declare.

However, as you have plans for Saturday you promise Agent Jones you’ll work on decoding these poems first thing Sunday morning. But then things really get weird.

Sunday Morning, June 2nd:

Early this Sunday morning, Special Agent Jones shows up at your door demanding the poems back. He has a strange, almost malevolent look in his eyes. “Bellows has been cleared and we’re returning his poems. We won’t need your help here. In fact, we probably won’t need your services again.”

Before you can utter a response, Agent Jones grabs the faxes off your desk and storms out.

“What the —” you think. You are almost sure those poems are really coded messages. Good thing you made a copy of each. Maybe if you can decode them you’ll be able to figure out what the heck is going on here.

Monday, June 3rd:

Another morning, another knock on the door. This time it’s Agent Brown. Brown’s a young man who has only been with the CIA for about a year. The conversation goes like this:

You: Good morning, Brown. What brings you here?

Brown: It’s Special Agent Jones. Something is wrong with him.

You: Tell me more, son.

Brown: Agent Jones has instituted a number of new policies. He says we’re not to lock up secrets anymore. Locks just encourage theft. He took away all our weapons. Now we’re supposed to use “friendly reasoning”.

You: This doesn’t sound at all like Jones.

Brown: Not at all. He’s replaced “Casual Friday” with “Bring a Swarthy Stranger to Work Friday”. Our newest codebook is going to be published on the internet. Jones has only been acting like this for little over a day, and already morale is very low. We’ve been told not to watch the Downtown Poetry Center. Jones says watching people only upsets them. We can’t even use our shredder anymore…except to destroy the silly poems he’s been writing.

You: What? What poems?

Brown: Oh, didn’t I tell you. Jones spends most of his time now sitting in the office writing poems and faxing them to various people. After he sends the poem, he has me shred it.

You: Bring me one of those poems!

Brown: I already thought of that. Here’s one he sent to Cristopher Quentin Bellows. If he finds out I didn’t shred this though, I’m in deep doodoo.

After Brown leaves, you are left to study this new work.

++++++++++

quiet POem about Espionage

NOthing IS reported
espionage
Spies conceal documents
Impossible
PLans Hidden
Concealed In overcoats
Under pumpkin patch
AMidst a box OR Red BAlloon
a Mysterious Unknown Bag a
Brown Paper shape.
what Spies Cannot Locate
Other spies Discovered.
THe Population Asleepy
knows not OF Espionages
They snore.

----------------- cia “Top Secret” Agent jones

++++++++++

Well Agent Brown, I’m afraid you’re going to have to turn Agent Jones over to your superiors and have him interrogated. Agent Jones has obviously cracked up, er…I mean, cracked the code, but for some reason, isn’t sharing.

I’ve gotten nowhere with this fiendish puzzle. My sole observation is an extra ‘y’ in each puzzle, viz, Johannessy, Snowystorm and Asleepy. I just can’t see any reason for those y’s to be there. I wish I knew if they were important - maybe you can pry an answer out of old Jonesie. Or anyone else, for that matter.

Thursday June 6th:

Below: Text of two poems forwarded to you by Agent Brown. The first was faxed early this morning to Bellows from Jones. The second was sent from Bellows to Jones at CIA Headquarters early this afternoon.

##########

pastoral

o’ Wheatfield
I Admire Grain
grass
Lawnmowers ON a Fen
Ye green, lush farmlands
Alive, fresh, ready, full
haystack, plowhorse, Dirtbarrow
and Reaper
Cows Perhaps MOo

OF crops
Irrigates a dry bed
farms Cultivated Prosperity
and Barley, oats, corns
Harvesting!
---------- cia “Top Secret” Agent jones
##########

carolina

south carolina
o’ Charleston
North States DO not
Recognize a yam
Of north caro’ BEaches.
sweet NC, sc, ANd VA
richmond, peach, APple
asheville And Bly.
----------Cristopher Quentin BEllows

My computer’s been broken. I’ve been sick. I’m out of town at my brother’s shop. All I can say is, “Woo-hoo, I get a crack at this!”

Friday June 7th:

There’s yet another knock at your door— a rather weak knock.

“Perhaps I should install a doorbell,” you think with a chuckle.

But your smile quickly disappears when you open the front door and Agent Brown falls into the room. You can see only the handle of the large knife that has been thrust deep into Agent Brown’s back. And you see lots of blood. A quick peek down the hallway shows a trail of blood leading to your apartment door from the elevator. Brown must have been stabbed outside, but then crawled up to your room with his last bits of strength.

“Brown, don’t try to talk. I’ll get a doctor. You’ll be all right.” You try to comfort Brown as you dial rapidly on your cell phone.

“P-p-poets…they’re…not…poets…they’re spies…” Brown rasps.

You turn to Brown, hoping the ambulance gets here in time.

“P-p-poems…they’re…not…poems…they’re codes…” croaks Brown.

“It’s OK, Brown,” you say. “Just hang in there.”

“W-w-words…they’re…they’re…n-------” and then Brown passes out.

It is at this moment you notice the wadded paper in Brown’s fist. You flatten out the crumpled page to reveal yet another poem. As you are about to read this vile verse Brown suddenly cries out: “He… he… called it the ‘Captain Code’… you must stop them…”

Agent Brown falls silent.
The poem reads as follows:

##########

FUneral Dirges

THe GRave disturbed And
The deceased a DEad mummy
MY Corpse sleep Now
evermores.

What mausoleum Hides
i AM aware
i tremble afear
Death IS an Insidious Shiver
DYing Alone

services ended.
purgatory Pallbearer Mourned
i WHisper something Quiet, unheard:
“arrive o’ Sainthood!”
NO Crypts, Casket, Hold YOu
and recharge

i AM SO tired
Tired OF headstone
Coffin, Death
OF Murder, Demise…

OUr Salvation:
reborn a MArker
cruel Gravestone.
---------- cia “Top Secret” Agent jones

While stabilizing the impaled object and arranging the sofa cushions so I can get Agent Brown into shock position, I run my mind over the latest of the poems. A thought strikes me.

“Everything is going to be all right,” I say again, and this time I mean it.

After the ambulance has gone, I compose a poem of my own.

COdes

infernal codes Appearing
spies persevere, Entangling US–
solution comes Gradually.
could i?
Can i unravel afore Time’s UP?
A Puzzle Keeps agent Cogitating.

Peregrine saves the day!
When the poem “COdes” is presented to Cristopher Quentin Bellows, he turns a peculiar shade of green.

“Get out of here, you don’t have a warrant!” he screams.

Ah, but indeed you do. You take a particular pride in shoving the paper up to his ugly face.

“You can’t do this! I have friends in the CIA!” Bellows snarls.

“Oh, you must mean Agent Jones,” you reply coldly. “Your Agent Jones has been arrested —and now you will be too.”

Moments later police officers are swarming the Downtown Poetry Center. Around back, they snare several unsavory individuals trying to get out the service entrance. Among them is Johanessy Walters Stevens. In the basement you discover a very weak but alert prisoner tied to a chair.

“I knew you’d come,” says the man as you cut away his bonds. “I’ve learned enough to completely destroy this ring of spies.” He pauses a moment, and then continues, “Thank you for getting here when you did. I think I would have cracked by tomorrow morning.”

“Torture?” you ask.

“The worst kind. They’ve been reading me their mind-numbing poems over…and over…and over again.”

Okay - great job, Peregrine! Now how about ‘splainin’ it to the rest of us? We want to write bad poetry, too!

If you don’t want to give it all away or fool around with spoiler boxes, how about a Very Large and Obvious Hint?

Puzzlewriter’s note:

Dang! I thought for sure I was going to get a victory here. But Peregrine makes a last minute save for yet another win for the SDMB.

Sorry there’s no puzzle for this week. I was having too much fun writing poems to work on something else. Thanks to everyone for letting this go on for so long. I was able to zone out during a couple of long dull meetings at work and just write the silly poems in my head. I recommend this to anyone when work gets tedious.


Mop-up:

You go and visit Brown in the hospital. Brown has told a chilling tale to police. After “Agent Jones” sent the final fax, he ordered Brown to shred it. Instead Brown tried to bring the poem to you. He was met in the alley behind your building by a man with a knife. This turned out to be Johannessy Walters Stevens. After cornering Brown, he had gloated about the poems and the code. Brown tried to escape, but was stabbed in the back. Fortunately, Stevens thought Brown was dead and therefore he left quickly, allowing Brown to crawl to your room.

"Hello Brown. Don’t try to talk. Everything is all right, and you were a big help. I missed some clues earlier, but your statements helped me put it all together.

"First, I wondered about the pattern of the words. Odd that the capital letters were always either the first or the first and second letters. What did those capital letters mean?

"The original name given to the theoretical spy headquarters could have given me a clue. The CIA man who came up with that name must be psychic.

"Furthermore, Agent Jones did a good job of eliminating what NOT to look for in the code. I’m surprised he didn’t note that both of our poet’s names were exactly the same length. Seemed more than coincidence. And Jones’ poetry name…now that was absurd.

"I kept saying the name ‘Captain Code’ aloud over and over while waiting for your ambulance to arrive. Then it hit me! I knew what you were trying to say about words — that they were not words at all.

“If I know anything about codes, it is that most of them are just variations of other codes. New codes are often old codes in a different dress. In my head I could almost here Agent Jones saying: ‘Remember the GOOD OLD DAYS…’. We had talked about the good old days back on June 1st. And there it was…the method for decoding the poems.”

Brown looks at you and smiles. He gives you a weak “thumbs up”.

Now it’s your turn to go home and take a well-deserved rest. Perhaps you can spend the day in bed reading. Reading anything but poems.

Those hints weren’t really Very Large and Obvious, so I’ll just mention that I spent days muttering that the words were too short and the lines were too long, till finally I put the darn thing away long enough to get a fresh idea.

I have been asked by a couple of you to post a clearer solution.

Here goes:

[spoiler] The words are not words. They are letters.

The code is a simple base 10 code (Base X) as described in the “good old days” remark about “A=1, B=2…etc.” Capital letters equal ten (“Cap-tain” by the sound). Here are word patterns and their meaning:

x=A, xx=B, xxx=C, xxxx=D, xxxxx=E, xxxxxx=F, xxxxxxx=G, xxxxxxxx=H, xxxxxxxxx=I, X=J, Xx=K, Xxx=L, Xxxx=M, Xxxxx=N, Xxxxxx=O, Xxxxxxx=P, Xxxxxxxx=Q, Xxxxxxxxx=R, Xxxxxxxxxx=S, XX=T, XXx=U, XXxx=V, XXxxx=W, XXxxxx=X, XXxxxxx=Y, XXxxxxxx=Z.

[/spoiler]

This was an especially difficult code. Hats off to Peregrine!