I’ve only had one truly bad date. It was a guy I had met a couple of times with groups of friends. We were talking about the Kennedy Center (in DC) and he asked me if I would like to go with him some time because I hadn’t been down there yet. So I give him my # and he calls about a week later inviting me to the ballet. I got all dolled up. I bought a black velvet dress and 4" strap heels to go with it. I even did my hair and makeup.
The ballet was wonderful. Afterwards he suggests we go to Georgetown. This wouldn’t have been a problem, except he meant walking around the houses in Georgetown. Picture it, I am in 4" brand new heels walking on sidewalks that are cobblestone in parts and cracked in other parts. We walked for two hours! I wanted to cut my feet off.
So now I think he’s taking me home, but nooo. (I should interject here, that at this point I hadn’t been living in the area very long, so I had no clue where I was or how to get out of DC). So we start to drive to where I think home is going to be and we end up at an abandoned amusement park. Now I am getting creeped out. Here is this guy, who I barely know, taking me out into what looks like the middle of nowhere and refuses to take me home! So I reluctantly walk around the park with him. We come upon a stage and walks me on stage, leaves me up there while he goes to sit on a bench (btw my feet are still killing me at this point and I am in a very beautiful black velvet dress, not really appropriate for where we are, but I digress) and tells me he is not taking me how until I “perform” for him. Luckily I was more stubborn than he was. I finally get him to take me home and avoid his calls until he finally got the point. Grrr. I am so happy to be dating a really good guy now. I can’t imagine my sweetie ever pulling something like that with me.
Hope that makes you feel better!
…was when I was in 8th grade. It was the first time I ever took a girl to the “dinner and a movie” date. We were going to see
Batman
and were both excited because we were both comic book geeks.
So anyway, I get my sister to drive us around. She is a real champ because her little-bitty baby brother is growing up.
I had saved up $50 for the occasion, and we ate at a local place that was “quaint” I believe is the term for a cheap place with atmosphere.
After dinner it’s off to the theatre, and we get good seats. So we’re watching the flic, and I am agonizing about how to put my arm around her. We are holding hands, but I want to put my arm around her as that leads to some kissing. Or so I hope.
So I’m planning my attack, and think to myself “Just do it. Don’t think about it, you wussy, just do it!”…
Bad Idea.
Instead of raising my hand to the ceiling and lowering my arm to settle around her shoulders, I extend my arm out, like dumbass, and
WHACK!
I hit her in the eye with my elbow. She screamed like a little girl because she was, well, a little girl. As everyone in the theatre watched us and stared at me wondering what the hell I was doing to that poor girl, she ran out holding her face and crying. She didn’t come back. I think I hit her pretty hard.
I sunk down into my seat and waited for the end of the credits before slinking out to call my sister and go home.
I heard from some mutual friends the next day that she called her dad and went home and put an ice pack on her face. I guess she was turning to look at me the same time my elbow was on a collision course with her noggin, because I actually hit her on the side of the nose. So she had two black eyes. Yikes!
I explained to everyone that I was only trying to put my arm around her, and they told her, and she told her dad, so that’s why I am alive and well today.
But it has followed me all my days, and I am still known as “Tyson” to some of my friends from back then.
So, in summary:
Dinner at a local dive: 16.00 dollars.
Movie tickets: 13.00 dollars
Popcorn, candy and drinks: 11.00 dollars
Looking like a complete tool: P R I C E L E S S
~Santi
If anyone wants to know the rest of the story, just let me know. There’s more.
Lexicon said:
Lexicon, I want to know more. I almost died laughing when I read the post! 
A friend asked me to go out dancing with thim, his fiancee, and a friend of hers. I don’t really care for dancing, or most of her friends, but I said OK.
We get there, the friend is in a cast. She just got back from a Vegas vaction, and she fell down the boarding ramp…
We start to play a little music, she says "Meems wrote this" (Meems is her cat...)
Friend looks for a drink, all that’s there is some old OJ, so date and I are nominated to go get something. She’s a terrible driver, but we survive to 7-11. Leaving, she backs into someone. After trading information, her car won’t start. Call friends, they come with tools, eventually we get her car started. We get back to her place…she doesn’t have her keys, we have to break in…
3 or 4 days later, my friend says, "XXXXX (fiance) just told me XXXXX (date) has been in therapy for the last year and a half, but she thought she was getting better..." Wanted to kill him there, but he seemed so honest and apologetic I really don't think he knew.....I guess you have to know that Yakov’s catchphrase was “What a country!” (with a strong Russian accent) meaning “We never got to do anything like that in Soviet Union!”.
He was expressing his amazement that he was expected to bring a date to his wedding.
Okay, stop laughing or we’ll be her all night!
Lexicon, there’s more? You gave her two black eyes and there’s more? Please share!
Yes, Lex, let’s hear the rest!
I’m proud to say that I have never been hit by a date!
See, I really glossed over what went down that Monday at school.
So let me take off where I left off…
<insert “diddlediddledoo, diddlediddledoo” wavy flashback screen here>
So she ran out of the theatre, crying and holding her face. She stumbled into the bathroom, and washed her face and hands off, and tried to get the blood off her shirt.
Oh yes, she was bleeding. I don’t know if you’ve ever gotten smaced across the bridge of the nose with a hard blunt object (like a football player’s elbow) but in addition to hurting like seven hells, it makes your nose bleed like a fountain. This case was no different.
Anyway, one of the theatre employees comes in, concerned, and asks if she’s okay.
“By boyfred duds hid be!” she screams, and starts crying anew, saying that she needs to “caw by dad” and such and so on. So the employee takes her into the office, and let’s her use the phone, asks if she would like to call the police. She says “Do. By daddy bill doh wud do do.”
So her dad gets there, and picks her up. Now, I don’t know if you are a dad, or a parent for that matter. But if you are, you know that seeing your child hurt can make you a little crazy. Her dad wanted to KILL me, because the theatre good samaritan lady told him that “your daughter’s boyfriend hit her.”
Which, I guess, was true enough. I did hit her. It was left out that I hit her completely by accident, and that I felt terrible. (I will insert more about this later)*
Anyway, she tells her dad to just take her home, she want’s some ice and some painkillers and to go to sleep. Her dad, a big burly city fire-fighter/EMT (yikes!) looks her over, is confident that her nose isn’t broken, so he reluctantly agrees to let me live a few more hours and take her to the doctor and me to the morgue on the morrow.
Well, on the way home, she explained to her dad what had happened, from her point of view:
We were sitting there, she was going to look at me, and then I hit her with my arm. She was pretty sure it was an accident, don’t be mad, she really likes me, she feels bad for leaving, why didn’t I come out to look after her?
Her dad doesn’t know, still mad at me, cause I hit his little girl (understandable) and wants to talk about it more later.
The next day, I talk to my best friend. Who’s girlfriend’s best friend is my date’s older sister’s best friend’s younger sister. Really, I know.
Anyway, I relate the whole story to the two of them, who of course already heard a version of it through the grapevine. I told them the plain truth of what happened, and that I was going to go over there today and throw myself on the mercy of the powers that be. With presents.
Anyway, my best friend’s girlfriend calls her best friend, who in turn calls her sister, and she calls her best friend, who tells her dad and my date the scoop she got from her best friend’s little sister’s best friend.
So her dad calms down a bit, and they hear that I am going to come over and beg forgiveness. They decided to have a little fun with me. Joy.
They aren’t home. I call and I call and there is no answer. So I can’t go over and beg for mercy. This is Sunday, and it goes by in agony for me.
On monday, I go to school, fearing the worst. The worst in my mind was that she was going to be very pissed and not even talk to me, and that I was going to be branded a “wife beater” or the kind of dipshit that hits girls.
In reality, I had no idea what the worst could be.
First hour goes by just fine. So does second hour. I have not seen her, and no one has said anything to me. In fact, no one is really talking to me at all. Which is fine by me, I am mostly looking at the floor in shame and embarassment.
On my way to third hour, the campus detective stops me and says I need to go with him to the office. Okay, no problemo, get a grip Santi!
So off we go. We get there, and there is her dad, my mom, the principal, and a cop! They sit me down, in a puddle of my own urine, and begin to talk to me about “anger management” and “plea bargain” and “custody of my parent legal guardian”. If I was scared before, I was terrified now.
There I was, 14 years old. A big kid, football player, tough guy, popular…
I start to cry like a little girl with a skinned knee!
<wah!> “Please! You have to understand! It was an accident! I didn’t mean to! I was just trying to put my arm around her! <sob!> I would never hurt her! I really like her, a lot! Please, I didn’t do anything! <cry!> Mom, you have to believe me! It was an accident, I promise…!”
About then the cop grinned, so did her dad, so did the principle. I was a smart kid, and I ccaught on.
“I hate you guys,” I said through the widest smile I’ve ever smiled. And everyone laughed.
Turns out her dad called one of his cop buddies to come down to the school in uniform and they both met with the principal and called my mom that morning while I was in class. Everything had been explained between our friends and such, and they all conspired to scare the shit out of me.
It worked.
*I believe I deserved it, because I stayed in the theatre, when I should’ve run out to make sure she was okay. But I didn’t, I acted like a chump. So I got what I deserved.
The whole school was laughing at me, I felt horrid but relieved.
The good part was that I still gave her a basket full of candy and a teddy bear and a “I’m sorry” and “Get Well Soon” card. She forgave me. We dated for a year.
We’re still friends to this day.
I eventually lived it down. I remember one time at a football game when I was a senior, some of my friends (my first movie-date included) hung up a banner with a caricature of me elbowing a lion (the other school’s mascot) in the face.
It said “Mercy is for the Weak, Santi-san!” Seven touchdowns, a field goal and a safety later, we won 54-6. Guess who got the safety.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Hands down beats me!!! Great story! Horrible to live through, but great story!
And yeah, you really should have followed her out of the theater, but it is understandable that you would be mortified, and afraid she’s pissed and doesn’t want you standing next to her.
When I first saw this threadf - I thought … I’ll win this one hands down. My social life is a constant source of amusement to my friends.
Yet Lexicon and Sunshine …
I am sitting here tipping my hat.
Damn I laughed!
Lexicon:
Hey, no kidding. To me, that’s the most amazing part of your whole story. Why the hell didn’t you run out to make sure she was okay? Was the movie really that fascinating?
I apologize for ressurecting an old thread for no really good reason, but Lexicon you rule!
I have a very dull, very pointless job right now and sitting here at work reading your post was the first time I have just completely busted out laughing at something on the boards here in quite a while. Thank you for making life a little better for everyone on the SDMB !!