Superheroes and Sports

Match any superhero with the sport that they would dominate the most and why.

Superman the Decathlete

Faster than a speeding bullet. That pretty much wraps up wins in the 100m, 400m, 110m High Hurdles, and 1500m.

Able to leap tall builings in a single bound. Resulting in wins in the high jump, long jump and pole vault (sans pole).

More powerful than a locomotive. And he breezes to victory in the shot put, javelin and discuss.

He would sweep all ten events, surpassing the greatest decathletes of all time.

Your choices?

In Marvel Comics, Northstar was a skiing champion, a perfect use for his powers.

Zev Steinhardt

Except the Flash might win all the races.

The Tick wouldn’t win anything, but he’d be much more fun to watch.

NFL Superpro is very good at basketball, surprisingly.

No, not really. But he might have competition on the field with Kickers, Inc.

The Hulk should win the clean & jerk, unless Thor keeps him from getting angry.

Spider Man or Daredevil or maybe Batman would do well in the gymnastics events.

Iceman would rule the figure skating!

Black Bolt would win any yodeling competition (yeah, I know it’s not really a sport…)

As for the Flash, he might be tied by Captain Marvel (the second Captain Marvel from Marvel).

Zev Steinhardt

OK, who wins the modern pentathalon??

Not a superhero, maybe, but James Bond would probably take the honours there

Superman is a cricketer. The following joke, told to me by an Indian a few years back, will explain all.

The Board of Control for Cricket in India is meeting to pick its next touring team. They decide to interview Superman. “Are you a good batsman?” they ask.

“I guarantee I can hit a six off of every ball,” he says.

“Are you a good bowler?”

“I guarantee that I can take a wicket with every ball I bowl,” he says.

“Are you a good fielder?”

“I guarantee that I can catch any ball, no matter where on the field it is hit,” he says.

The selectors huddle for a minute. “Ah,” they say, “but are you from Saurashtra?!?”

OK, I know 99.9% of you are not going to get that…but I thought it was darn amusing.

Inspector Gadget smoke all those fools

I think team X-Men would make a good showing.

They’d have Wolverine (Fencing or Boxing)

Cyclops (Any of the shooting events)

Gambit (Poker) OK, I know that’s not technically a sport, but the people who play it professionally would have you believe it is.

Beast (Academic Decathalon)

Professor Xavier (Wheelchair Basketball)

Nightcrawler is the X-Man for fencing.
Shadowcat for the hurdles and also women’s karate.

On the villainous side, there are of course Sportsmaster and the Golden Glider. Rocket Racer rode a skateboard, is skateboarding a sport?

The original Wildcat was a professional boxer. Spider-Man wrestled in his debut public appearance (although in a generic costume with no spidery identifiers).

D’oh! I can’t believe no one thought of this one yet

The Silver Surfer for any surfing competition…

As an aside, I seem to recall an old X-Men comic where they were playing softball. Wolverine’s team consisted of himself, Rouge and Nightcrawler. According to Professor X, Wolverine chose well in that Nightcrawler (who was playing infield) could be anywhere at once and that Rouge (in the outfield) could shag down any flies that Nightcrawler couldn’t get to. He also commented that Wolverine was as sneaky a pitcher as they come too.

Zev Steinhardt

Zev Steinhardt

Cerebus would win the Cynical Back-stabbing and Ruthless Betrayal contest, no problem.