Supernova (2005): If there were a God in Heaven, I wouldn't have missed the beginning

[Podkayne]

I can’t believe I walked in on the middle of this underlooked cinematic gem on the Hallmark channel!

Here’s what I’ve gathered so far. Apparently some scientists discover that the Sun is going to go SUPERNOVA.

Which is pretty surprising, on account of the fact that, as a G-type main-sequence star, the Sun is only midway through its life, and it’s about 8x10[sup]29[/sup] kg shy of having enough mass to become a supernova.

But, wait, that’s not the only shocking thing! It’s going to go SUPERNOVA, like, next week! OMG!!!

The brilliant scientists who made this discovery is Luke Perry, who’s looking about 300 years old. He believes the public Must Be Told so that–get this–they can “send up a prayer.”

Oooh, 300-year-old Luke Perry also says that even if the Sun doesnot go SUPERNOVA it could melt the ice caps and strip off the Earth’s atmosphere, after which “the UV exposure alone will kill us.” (Probably also the lack of breathing. But what do I know.)

But before he can Tell the People the Truth, he gets rescued/kidnapped by eeeevil Lance Henricksen, who is an eeeevil elitist who thinks that “civilization” should be saved . . . by which, he tells 300-year-old Luke Perry, he means “us, the educated, the skilled, the trained.”

All signs point to Lance Henricksen being an atheist, too.

Now Luke Perry is careening around Lance Henrickson’s eeeeevil underground bomb-shelter thingie on an ATV! Go, 300-year-old Luke Perry!

Damnit, Replay TV tells me that this is the only scheduled showing!!! Curses!!!

[Lumpy]

If the sun is going to go supernova, almost certainly rendering the surface of the Earth uninhabitable. which sounds like the better plan to you?:

(1). Prepare an underground shelter where you and a remnant of the human race can try to survive, and make sure that your efforts aren’t blocked by worldwide panic, or:

(2). Tell everyone so that they can pray for supernatural intervention.

[Snooooopy]

@Podkayne

But before he can Tell the People the Truth, he gets rescued/kidnapped by eeeevil Lance Henricksen, who is an eeeevil elitist who thinks that “civilization” should be saved . . . by which, he tells 300-year-old Luke Perry, he means “us, the educated, the skilled, the trained.”

What about some hot chicks, too?

[Baldwin]

That underground shelter better be several light years away. If it were possible for the Sun to go supernova, the Earth would just be hot plasma. I’m guessing Stephen Hawking didn’t co-write the screenplay.

Jesus, what happened to Lance Henricksen’s career?

[Acqua_Minerale]

@Lumpy

If the sun is going to go supernova, almost certainly rendering the surface of the Earth uninhabitable. which sounds like the better plan to you?:

(1). Prepare an underground shelter where you and a remnant of the human race can try to survive, and make sure that your efforts aren’t blocked by worldwide panic, or:

(2). Tell everyone so that they can pray for supernatural intervention.

If the sun goes supernova (not possible), an underground shelter will work as well praying or playing golf.

[Steve_MB]

@Lumpy

If the sun is going to go supernova, almost certainly rendering the surface of the Earth uninhabitable. which sounds like the better plan to you?:

(1). Prepare an underground shelter where you and a remnant of the human race can try to survive, and make sure that your efforts aren’t blocked by worldwide panic, or:

(2). Tell everyone so that they can pray for supernatural intervention.

If the Sun did go supernova (ignoring for the moment the reasons why it can’t), the only effective shelter is “be somewhere else”. Even deep underground, or even hiding behind Jupiter, the flood of neutrino radiation would be so great that the one-in-a-quadrillion a human body would absorb would constitute a lethal radiation dose.

[DrFidelius]

@Snooooopy

What about some hot chicks, too?

But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

[DxZero]

@DrFidelius

But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor

[Voyager]

@JPen

I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor

But what about the mineshaft gap?

[Voyager]

@Snooooopy

What about some hot chicks, too?

When the sun goes supernova, they’ll be real hot.
For about a picosecond.

Actually, this sound about what I’d expect from science fiction on the Hallmark Channel. So, tell us, did praying work. Did they hide out? Did God put a big mirror between us and the sun?

[Bryan_Ekers]

@Podkayne

Which is pretty surprising, on account of the fact that, as a G-type main-sequence star, the Sun is only midway through its life, and it’s about 8x10[sup]29[/sup] kg shy of having enough mass to become a supernova.

Well, it also has to be part of a binary star system. Maybe after Jupiter gets converted by the monoliths in 2010…

[Angua]

I feel your pain Podkayne. I had to sit through the entire thing over Christmas because my family thought it’d be fun.

My dad sat there, telling me in all honesty that it really could happen someday, and when I pointed out that no, the Sun was far too small to ever go supernova, I got my brother arguing with me, telling me that no way, the Sun absolutely could go supernova. Er, right.

Anyway, the ending is a spectacular anti climax, with, rather predictably, the Sun not going supernova and the team of scientists, including their head of group, scratching their heads wondering what the heck just didn’t happen there. So, they recheck their computer code, and lo and behold, they find that some muppet had put a plus sign instead of a minus sign into the code that they’d used to calculate what the Sun was doing. What sort of group head lets something like “the Sun is going to go supernova” get out without triple checking the code, getting observational evidence (its not hard, its our nearest bloody star!), and verifying it with other groups?!

[Menocchio]

So, in other words The bad guy was right, albeit for the wrong reasons? At least his plans would have just have lead to the elites spending the weekend underground and coming out a bit embarassed, and not have lead to global panic and rioting, as the hero’s plan would have.

[Angua]

Not quite. The bad guy believed, IIRC, that it was going to happen too, he just, stupidly, thought that it was survivable*. Its been a while since I watched it, and I immediately tried to scrub it from my brain.

*Ignore the fact that if the Sun could have gone supernova, the Earth would have been vaporised more or less instantly.

[Menocchio]

Yes, but it sounds like if the bad guys had gotten away with it, the world would have been in a better position. Yes, they would have wasted a lot of money on the uber bomb shelter, but at least they wouldn’t have sent the entire world into a panic for no reason whatsoever.

It’s the classic “designated villain”. He’s only bad because we’ve been told he was.

[Revtim]

@Podkayne

The brilliant scientists who made this discovery is Luke Perry, who’s looking about 300 years old. He believes the public Must Be Told so that–get this–they can “send up a prayer.”

This brings up interesting philisophical questions (much like most of the immortal lines uttered by Luke Perry, or any of the other fine actors and actresses of the Hallmark Channel).

If Luke’s character feels that prayer is a request to God to actually change the future, then one must assume God was planning on roasting humanity unless they begged for mercy. In this case, Luke’s character believes in a cruel God indeed.

If he felt that the future is already part of God’s unchanging plan, and prayer is merely for the psychological benefit of the prayer, then the character is making, IMHO, a mistake in judgement. Surely it would be better to not inform the public, even with the benefit of prayer, than to make make them suffer with the bad news.

Perhaps these questions will be further explored in the sequel, “Meteor! Oops, forgot to carry the one, never mind…” starring the guy who played “Screech”.

[priapus]

@DrFidelius

But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

That’s a strange love there

[Podkayne]

@Angua

My dad sat there, telling me in all honesty that it really could happen someday, and when I pointed out that no, the Sun was far too small to ever go supernova, I got my brother arguing with me, telling me that no way, the Sun absolutely could go supernova. Er, right.

Did your family, um, notice that you were, um, not around the house quite a lot over the last few years? Were they informed that, during that time, you were, um, sitting around learning about things like, say, what kinds of stars could go supernova, and what kinds couldn’t? Or do they think you’ve been hanging out at the mall?

Thank you for the summary! I’m glad you saw the end, because my husband got home and insisted on changing the channel.

@Lumpy

(1). Prepare an underground shelter where you and a remnant of the human race can try to survive, and make sure that your efforts aren’t blocked by worldwide panic, or:

(2). Tell everyone so that they can pray for supernatural intervention.

Narrows eyes at Lumpy Are you some kind of an atheist or something?

[Podkayne]

@Angua

What sort of group head lets something like “the Sun is going to go supernova” get out without triple checking the code, getting observational evidence (its not hard, its our nearest bloody star!), and verifying it with other groups?!

To be fair, Lance Henricksen did spend most of his onscreen time chasing aroudn 300-year-old Luke Perry trying to get him to check his boffin’s math.

[Yllaria]

I’m guessing Stephen Hawking didn’t co-write the screenplay.

That one was worth a quick snerk.

So, would this be a good movie for a group-heckle?