Suprise! The movies Bernse rented this weekend didn't suck too bad after all!

Friday night: The movie I knew wouldn’t suck, well, didn’t. However, I still don’t think it was THAT great.

Friday Night: Amelie. OK show. Kind of cute in places but I am suprised it made as much headway in the North American market that it did. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike it by any means, but I expected a bit, uh, more. Shit, I don’t even know what I expected anymore.

Saturday Night - The Suck-Ass double header.

Evening started out with Jurassic Park 3 and ended with The Planet of the Apes.

You know what? I 100% expected these 2 movies to suck ass something terrible, but they didn’t. JP3 was waaay better than I thought it would be. Not exactly a “thinking” persons movie, but pretty entertaining for 1-1/2 hours.

POTA was also better than I expected. The acting was quite good and the costumes were amazing. It was a pretty polished movie IMHO. Better than I expected it to be from the reviews and hype.

At least I didn’t feel cheated out of the $3.19 CDN it cost me to rent the two movies (2 for 1 coupons are great!).

I thought Planet of the Apes sucked ass.

Yeah, JP3 was surprisingly good after the JP2 fiasco. When you find a formula that works, stick with it is the Hollywood motto these days. I kind of liked the running joke with the satellite phone. I want a phone that can survive a romp through the digestive tract of a carnivorous dinosaur.

OTOH, Planet of the Apes sucked major red baboon ass. How is it that Hollywood can consistently make silver screen bombs out of what once were fine movies (Time Machine, Rollerball)? I just hope they leave Ben Hur and Forbidden Planet alone.

Yes, it did suck major red monkey ass! :eek:

You must have accidently picked up the porno Bedrooms of the Apes.

Why on earth would you rent movies you expect to suck?

I mean, for myself, I sit through a lot of crap because I’m a Movie Geek and I feel obligated to watch the high-profile stuff, at least on cable, to keep tabs on the industry. Still, it’ll be a rainy week with an empty video-store shelf before I subject myself to Halloween: Resurrection or Britney Spears in Crossroads.

In other words, I see a lot, but I have standards, man. :wink:

It didn’t suck!!

It wasn’t great by anymeans, but I still don’t think it sucked!

<runs away, covering head>

Why did I rent them if I thought they were going to suck?

Good question. I was curious to see POTA and the wife wanted to see JP3. And, as I said, with a 2 for 1 coupon what the hell.

If you have to ask, you’ll never understand. ::Leaves to start his Killer Tounge tape::

::Actually his Killer Tongue tape, as spelling is not a required course on Mars::

Actually, I don’t know why, but I often found movies that sucked in the theater were OK, not great but OK, on video.

What I don’t get is that you can say you liked POTA and JP3, but you didn’t like Amelie? What the fuck?

I saw Amelie on Saturday night and it was an absolutely AMAZING movie. It was a hell of a lot better than the majority of shit America pumps out as “Romantic” comedies go. It was cute, it was sweet, it was intricate and made you think, and it was visually stunning.

And yet, you enjoyed JP3 more? Hmmm…don’t get me wrong, I love love LOVE crappy movies, but come on…I’d much rather watch Amelie over Wild Zero anyday, and that’s saying a LOT for me.

Whoa there Elvis. Re-read the OP. I never said I didn’t like Amelie. As a matter of a fact I said:

Maybe I expected too much from it. I expected to be walking away with a smile on my face after that move. I didn’t. It was good though. And you’re right, it is better than most of the turds that the US film industry packages up as romantic movies.

Where did I say I enjoyed JP3 more? I was pleasantly suprised. It was movie that was purely entertaining with a minimal effort required to watch it. This is especially true when I was expecting to hate it a passion.

See, reading that post, it says to me your experience with JP3 was more enjoyable than your experience with Amelie, thus, you enjoyed JP3 more. That’s the way I read it. The fact you didn’t walk away from it with a smile on your face after (what seemed to me to be) three hours of cute French girl doing silly shit and looking cute and overall craziness makes me wonder exactly what you DID get out of it. It was just as mundane and pointless a movie as JP3, just with a bit more class and a few less dinosaurs. Niether required excessive brain power to comprehend, except for the whole reading subtitles thing.

OK Elvis. You’re absolutely right. Reading between the lines is far more accurate than reading what I actually wrote.

This is what I really meant to say, but just for some reason * I forgot* to type in the OP:

Amilie sucks major ass. I can’t STAND subtitles. Fuck, who in the world speaks French anymore anyhow? Das Boot subtitled is absolute shit as well, too. Hell, ANYTHING foreign sucks major ass. And by foreign I mean anything not produced in California, and not involving Quentin Tarantino or Steven Speilberg.

Jurasic Park 3 should have won best picture of the year. It was FUCKING AWESOME!!! DINOSAURS RULE!!! Sam Neil deserves best actor and Tea Leoni deserves best actress!!! All the cast deserves action figures modeled after them!!!

POTA - What can I say! Any movie with people in ape costumes = fun, fun FUN!!!


OK. I’ll slow down and spell it out for you. This is exactly what I meant to convey in the OP. Apologies if I didn’t do it well enough the first time:

AMILIE was a good show. Not as good as I was expecting though. But, it was good.

JP3 was a “good” show. Far better than I was expecting. NOTE I am not saying it is a great show, not even very good. Just good. And since I was expecting a steaming pile of shit for a movie, it was far better than I was expecting.

POTA was a good show IMHO as well. Same reasons as JP3.

All 3 IMHO are worthwhile rentals.

Upon re-reading my last post, I think I came off stronger than I meant to, Elvis. Don’t read too much into it.


See, all other things being equal, this would make JP3 the better movie, in my book. Dinosaurs trumps class any day.

Unfortunately, all other things aren’t equal when it comes to JP3. The portrayal of the dinosaurs (and pterosaurs) was about as far removed from reality as it could have been, which, in my opinion, destroyed the movie far more than any plot or characterization defects (which were also present in volume). It still rated (barely) a “mediocre effort”, simply because it had dinosaurs.

In comparison, though, I can’t say anything about the portrayal of silly French girls in Amelie, as I haven’t seen it.