If they ever brag “Nominated for ___ Oscars/Golden Globes”, but don’t mention any nominees in particular. This is usually a sign that this is a film that had good sound/lighting/effects, but bad everything else.
Also, any film at the video store that 1) has performers of note in it, but 2) appears to have been never released in theaters. That is a very good sign that the film was utterly wretched.
In retrospect, my post should’ve read “Any involvement whatsoever by any member of the Wayans family, past, present, future, clone, interdimensional, or teleported from the future.”
Robin
I’ll give you Damon. But the rest of the bunch wouldn’t know funny if it came up and bit them on the ass.
Robin
Ohmygod, she was born in Roswell, NM. That explains a lot.
Are we counting TV here? In Living Color was a great TV show.
…Has the title ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’
…Has more then 5 sequels before it, that also pretty much sucked
The rest of the family is like a clan of comedy-killing bounty hunters … if there’s amusement in the near vicinity, they will set upon it and tear it limb from limb.
Any movie described by Hollywood blurb whores as an “action thrill-ride.” Roller-coaster metaphors are another danger sign.
I await Prozac Nation’s release with keen interest.
In Living Color was a great show, but the funniest characters were played by non-Wayans actors.
Robin
Mike: I have my doubts if this movie is “starring” anyone.
Servo: Just your usual stable of David Winters actors.
-MST3K on “Space Mutiny”
Mrs. Forester: Its about nothing and stars no one. Eat it!
-MST3K on “Track of the Moon Beast”
Sorry, I sometimes have flashbacks to MST3K and feel I have to share them.
I lifted my line from Werewolf (or Wahrwuf):
“Does any movie really “star” Joe Estevez.”
I noticed from IMDB that it was made in 2001, it hasn’t been released yet?
Yeah, 'cuz John Woo isn’t considered, like, a luminary of the genre or anything, or like, revolutionized the concept of the action scene or some such nonsense.
Yeah, Ricci appears nude in it as well. Supposedly part of the problem has to do with the director being stubborn about some of the editing, but one never knows.
He’s the guy responsible for Hard Target, Face/Off, Broken Arrow, Mission Impossible II, Windtalkers and Paycheck, right?
Woo hasn’t done anything worthwhile in over a decade. If you see his name on a movie now, it means it’s bad action schlock that’s over reliant on camera cuts and wire work even for the genre.
“It stars no one and features nothing. I hope you gag on it!”
(Sorry to pick nits, but I love Pearl so …)
It played the fests but has had no proper theatrical release. Last I heard it’s coming direct-to-video this fall … the omens are not good.
It’s probably why it confused me. I was sure it was released long ago but I’ve been to a few Toronto Film Fests so I probably just heard about it there. Now I’m curious to see it.
Now I’m Really curious.