surprise parties---good or bad?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was just invited to a surprise party for a friend. It occurs to me, though, that she may actually hate this idea. Surprises are not for everyone.

Personally, I always wanted to be thrown a surprise party, but when the time came that someone actually planned one for me, it was so not a surprise that I ended up being the one to pick up the cake at the bakery beforehand.

Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? How did it turn out?

Ever been the recipient? Were you even remotely surprised? In a good way or a bad way?

2

Although most people might say they’d hate a surprise party, most will appreciate the thought and effort put into it.

I’ve thrown a few and most were successful. They can be real stressful, as it only takes one out of place event to clue the person in. I found the easiest way is rather than bring the person to the party, you bring the party to them. For my wife I had everyone meet at the local bar, then at a predetermined time just show up at the house.

The most important advice I can give is to make sure people actually show up. It would be devistating to someone’s ego if they walked into a surprise party with only about 4 people there.

3

This gives me a chance to relate one of my all-time favorite stories about Mrs. Kunilou.

She had thrown a surprise party for me, so I decided to retaliate - er - reciprocate for her 40th birthday. I started weeks in advance and one by one enlisted the cooperation of her co-workers to keep her out of the house. I even told the guests to park up and down the street, so there wouldn’t be a suspicious concentration of vehicles in front of our home.

The night of the big party, her co-workers took her out for happy hour. The guests assembled. I had invited a lot of people and they all came. One by one the co-workers arrived for the party.

The only problem was, Mrs. Kunilou wasn’t among them. Finally, the last co-worker showed up and said that Mrs. Kunilou had told her since I was home with the kids, she’d just take the evening off and go shopping. None of the co-workers felt they could give away the surprise.

Mrs. Kunilou finally showed up 2 1/2 hours after the party was supposed to begin. The guests were all cranky, because none of them would eat any of the food before the guest of honor arrived. Many of them HAD felt it would be okay to drink, however, so some of them were getting drunk. Guests with kids had to get home to their baby sitters.

And yes, she was really, really surprised.

We made a pact after that night to never EVER have another surprise party.

4

Well, I’m already beginning to think about a surprise party for my parents’ 40th wedding anniversary in '05.

5

When I was in high school, one of my friends threw a surprise party for me, sorta. She called me with the pretense of a “survey for a class” asking me about my favorite foods. Then she asked me to come over to her house. Somehow, I figured out that it was a party, but I was truly surprised by the refreshments - and I learned all my favorites were right nasty when served all at once.

My husband surprised me completely once. The company he worked for had a condo at the beach that employees could use for $30/night - good deal! So he booked it for a weekend around my birthday. I knew about this. Then he arranged for us to meet with another couple for dinner (we had all our kids with us too) - and we’d go back to the condo for birthday cake. Again, I knew about this.

Just after we got back to the condo, before we had cake or ice cream, his cell rang - he had to go to the office. I was bummed, but it happened on occasion. So I was sitting there with the other couple and the kids, wondering if we should go ahead and do cake anyway or hope hubby got back before too long.

About 15 minutes later, there’s a knock at the door. It was my husband and six of our other friends (who had placed the phone call) - bearing balloons! Definitely a surprise! I was glad we hadn’t gone ahead and cut the cake, tho I don’t think Lori would have let me do that!

Then there was the party I threw for my husband. His birthday is in November, and this particular year, it fell on a Sunday. I managed to convince our twisted group of friends to arrive at our house by 6AM (it’s dark then) gather in the garage, then come down the hall to our bedroom and wake us up. All were to wear jammies and slippers and we’d have breakfast together. Great idea, right?

I’d forgotten that my husband is a light sleeper, and because of some things that happened when he was in the Navy, when awakened suddenly, he goes into full defense mode. So here’s the scene - we’re in bed, sans jammies ourselves. It’s dark. Suddenly, there’s this gawd-awful cacaphony (I think they were singing “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”) accompanying a half a dozen shadowy figures coming into our bedroom.

Steve started screaming at the top of his lungs, and I wasn’t able to get him to listen to me. He jumped up and launched himself at the first shadow - happened to be our friend Mike - a skinny, short guy. He tackled Mike against the dresser (which was moved about 6" by the blow) still yelling. At that point, I got up, shoved the rest of the shadows back into the hall, shut the door, grabbed my robe, and turned on the light - all in about 5 seconds.

There was poor Mike in his jammies with curlers in his beard, my naked husband holding him down. Once the light came on, I was able to explain to Steve that this was a PARTY!!! :eek: He got up off Mike and put on some sweats. About that time, our daughter can into our room in tears - she wanted to be part of the surprise and she missed it. Fortunately, it was also missed by the couple who was bringing the video camera - they were late.

It took Steve about an hour to get his pulse back to normal. And we did have a lovely breakfast. Someone even had the forethought to bring a camera, so we have some photos of the breakfast. Our friends all wear weird bedroom slippers.

And I never planned a surprise party again. Come to think of it, it’s been a lot of years since I saw Mike too…

6

Anyone who knows me knows that I would be thoroughly fucking angry if anyone tried to suprise me with a party. You really have to know your friend to know if it would be a good idea.

Haj

7

I had 3 friends whose wives threw surprise parties for them for various birthdays. They were all divorced within 2 years of the parties. Take that with however many grains of salt you wish.

On the other hand, my hunny told me that we’d just be having some neighbor/friends over for my 50th and we’d have a quiet get-together at home. That was OK with me. Then more friends showed up, then more, then the whole house was full, then my very good friends that I hadn’t seen in years since they moved to Wisconsin showed up and I was laughing and crying at the same time. It was great. That was almost 3 years ago and we’re still married, make of it what you will.

8

Yeah, surprise parties can be really good or really bad. You’d really have to know the target well to judge whether it’s appropriate.

I would find it horribly embarassing; thanks to various events in my past, I loathe being singled out. Even having the Happy Birthday song sung at me is torture.

9

I helped my stepmom throw a surprise birthday party for my dad on his 40th. He seemed pretty surprised, and he’s not that great of an actor.

My friends threw a surprise going-away party for me during my sophomore year of high school. I moved to a different state between my sophomore and junior years. I went over to my friend Lisa’s house to spend the night. We were getting ready to watch some videos in the basement, when her mom called downstairs saying, “Lisa, the dog got outside. Come up here and get her, since she listens to you.” (Hey, it sounded plausible to me). I heard quite a few footsteps, and then all my friends came downstairs for a party. It was the first and only time (to date) that I’ve had a surprise party, and I really appreciated it. I was pretty bummed that I’d be leaving all of my friends, so it was nice to see that they’d miss me. They gave me a bunch of goofy gifts, many based on our inside jokes. It was a good time.

10

Surprise parties rock. It gives you something to talk about for ages. My friends husband pulled off a MAJOR coup for his wife on her 30th. A bit of background on my friend…she LOVES presents. She loves to be the center of attention. She is a fiery Spaniard, who actually out fires the NYer/Italian in me.

So, we threw her a fake party at another friend’s house the night before. It sucked. I was the only one who gave her a cheapo present. Unwrapped, in a bag. We kept cutting her off in conversation and basically got her to drink vodka drinks until she got fed up and left before 10pm. As she was leaving she announced that her birthday wasn’t until Sunday and that people could still drop off gifts…ha ha! She was pissed.

So the next day, her real party in a reserved wine vault and a table overflowing with presents happened, but with a snag. We did all the right things, parked around the corner, got there early and so forth. Her husband told her the chef was preparing a special dinner for the 2 of them at 7. The problem was she was so saddened that her friends screwed up her 30th party that she was too busy cursing all of us to get ready.

Then her husband made a huge mistake. My friend finally got ready and put on the outfit that she had worn the previous night for the fake party. KNowing that she would be mortified to be seen 2 nights in a row in her red leather pants, he suggested she put on something else. Never a good idea to be critical of an already pissed-off lady’s clothes. The next thing I know, he’s calling me at the restaurant saying that his wife is hysterical and literally jumping up and down on her clothes and saying she is not going at all.

2 hours later they arrive at the restaurant, she’s pissed. Comes into the room and we’re all yelling surprise and so forth. She was so damned confused. It was literally, priceless. It took her a while to realize what we had done and when she got to open all her gifts, we knew it was all worth it. We still talk about that look.

Really though, in the end, the surprise itself means more than that moment. The person gets to sit and reflect about how much she/he means to other people and the effort they went through to make them feel special. GO FOR IT!

11

My old man had a half-way surprise party, similar to NoCoolUserName’s experience. On his birthday, people would just randomly comeover and stick around until there were 30 people in the house with him having a mildly bewildered look on his face. Mum then nipped over the neighbour’s place and got the banquet she’d prepared over the past couple of days. The funniest part was the guy who turned up exactly 24 hours late. He still gets hassled for it.

Good times. :slight_smile:

12

I would never throw my husband a surprise party. He would hate it. His brother, who also hates surprises, was the recipient of a ‘surprise party,’ but his wife warned him ahead of time so he could pretend to be pleased–she didn’t want to disappoint the people throwing the party by telling them not to.

My husband was involved in a surprise baby shower for me, and I have never been so stunned in my whole life. A friend of mine planned it and he got me there. I should have been suspicious when she invited us to a dinner BBQ on a Sunday, and he didn’t object to the idea.

13

I love surprise parties! Although I wouldn’t throw one for a reclusive type.

For my 18th birthday, my parents and friends threw me a surprise party. Two friends took me out to the movies for my birthday, and on the way home, we stopped off at my best friend’s house, supposedly to pick up a homework assignment. Instead, my family, including all my favorite cousins, and all of my friends were waiting inside for us. It was great. I was completely surprised, and it just made me feel so loved.

I threw a surprise party for my then-boyfriend’s 25th birthday. Though it wound up not being a complete surprise, a good time was had by all.

Most recently, there was a surprise party for my best friend’s mom, Sheela. Not just a surprise party, a surprise contra dance. Her sister lives out in the country, and all of Sheela’s friends and fellow dancers turned up to do-si-do the night away at her sister’s farm. I missed it, unfortunately, but it sounded like a blast.

14

My girlfriend in jr. high assembled all my friends for the surprise party to end all surprise parties. Darn near made my heart stop when I walked in the room and they all yelled “Surprise!”

Unfortunately, it was a dump Muffin party. She wanted to break up, and thought that this would be the nicest way to go about it.

15

I threw a surprise toga party for my best friend in High School. She was pretty bummed about it because she knew I was planning a party and that I hadnt mentioned it to her. Her parents were in on it too. There weren’t any vehicles to park in hiding so the secret was a success. Her parents brought her home to a house full of friends and food.

My high school boyfriend threw me one too, but wasnt too much of a surprise. When we arrived guests were arriving as well. But it was still sweet.

16

I was part of a surprise party for one of my best friends’ 25th. I flew in to Arizona from Washington to be there. He was stunned and teary eyed. It was basically the stereotypical “perfect” surprise party, because of how it was set up, how secret it was kept, and the reaction.

Wonderful. But hard to do, definitely.

17

We had a surprise party at the hotel. Unfortunately, the guest of honor was 103. When he tottered into the room and all the guests shouted “SURPRISE”, the poor old guy grabbed his heart and keeled over. Turned out, he was ok (he even tried to grab my backside later on), but this was damn near his last birthday.

18

I have always lived in fear of being given a surprise party. I’m extremely uncomfortable with being the centre of attention, especially if I haven‘t been given time to prepare, and I know I would be ungraceful and spoil the fun.

Fortunately, since I have no friends, it’s unlikely to ever happen.

Oh, how lucky I am.

19

Ouch, that’s really rough. Did everyone at the party have to break up with you, or just her?

I threw a surprise birthday party for Mrs. Giraffe after we’d been dating for a year or two. It was a raging success despite several obstacles:

  1. The cake I tried to bake was such a disaster that I threw it away and managed to find a friend to go buy one at the last minute.

  2. My apartment was all decorated the day before, and I had to find some reason why we couldn’t stop there and use the bathroom when we were at a park a block away, rather than going back to her place (several miles away). I have no idea what I said, but I’m sure it was completely lame. Luckily, she is very trusting.

  3. Our friends couldn’t stop giggling as they sat there in the dark – I could totally hear them as I was opening the door. Again, Mrs. Giraffe is very trusting and didn’t notice. Just as she was opening her mouth to ask whose purse that was on my bed, I led her into the living room and everyone yelled surprise. The look on her face was most excellent.

20

I have been on both sides as both a giver and receiver.

My mom tried to give me a surprise party once. The only problem was we lived in Hawaii at the time. Anybody who has lived there knows that most people take their shoes off at the door. Arriving home to see thirty pairs of shoes at the front door kind of blew the surprise. :rolleyes:

I gave my mom a suprise party just this year.  Her birthday fell on monday and we set it up for saturday telling her it was a little Family BBQ party for her at my house since I had finals on monday.  We had friends flown in from all over the country and even one of her best friends from Australia flew in.   My mom went nuts.  She laughed, Cried, Screamed and had a blast.   Best birthday in sixty years she says.

Major cool points for Good Son Joe :cool: