about the old house, the stolen ordnance underneath it, and want to get Jane’s and Louise’s view. However, there’s one thing that still puzzles me.
“Where does that little elf/fairy/pixie/whatever that we followed out of the catacombs fit into the scheme of things?” I ask Alice as we return to her room.
“I don’t know,” she says. “Although, when we were in that old house with Salbert I did see some tiny footprints on the floor. By the way, did you notice Salbert was hearing a top hat?”
“Yeah, I did,” I answer. “But I didn’t say anything about it because I was too preoccupied about what he was saying about the stolen arsenal under the house.”
We walk into Alice’s room. There, Alice grabs her cell phone and calls Jane Bradley. As she talks to Jane, she points to a short-sleeved black sun dress with an emerald green diamond pattern hanging on her closet door. She them motions for me to bring her the dress which I promptly do. Continuing with conversation, Jane tucks her cell phone under her neck and begins changing her clothes. She removes her black jeans, her dark blue blouse, and places both items on a chair. She then steps into her sun dress, pulls it over her torso, and then tries to fit her arms through the sleeves. However, because Alice is still talking to Jane, she’s having trouble with this last maneuver so I assist her by holding on to the cell phone as she tries to fit through the sleeves.
Except for her black bra straps, Alice’s back is still bare and I notice her wings. They’re not like a bird’s wings since they don’t have feathers and they’re not like a insect’s wings since they aren’t hard and brittle. Instead, they’re diaphanous and gossamery like a fairy’s. Alice clicks off her phone; I zip up the back of her dress thereby preventing their public view.
“We have to meet Jane and Louise at a place called The Green Lantern downtown,” Alice says as she puts on a pair of high heel shoes. “It’s semi-formal and I thought what I was wearing was too worn and old. Although what you’re wearing now should be okay.”
“Uh-huh,” I say only partially paying attention to Alice. I’m over by Alice’s mirror with my back turned to it and my shirt halfway pulled up. My close examination of Alice’s wings has made me curious about my own. I peer over my shoulder into the mirror. My wings are exactly like Alice’s. I sigh with disappointment.
“Does meeting Jane and Louise bother you?” questions Alice as we head out the front door.
“No, it’s not that,” I say as we get into Alice’s car. “I was just looking at my wings and noticed they’re just like fairy wings.”
“And how is that a problem?” Alice asks as we pull out of the driveway.
“Well, the fairy wings suit you perfectly but I just don’t know if they’re the right look for a guy.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you like having wings?”
“Oh, I do. There are many advantages to having wings but I was kind of hoping they wouldn’t look so … delicate. It would be great if they were something cool like eagle or hawk wings. Or beetle or hornet wings. They’re ugly but still cool. So are bat wings but then I’d look a little too satanic and that might give people the wrong idea–which reminds me, angel’s wings would would rule.”
“I didn’t realize you so insecure in your sexuality that having wings that looked like a fairy’s would bother you.” Alice says while rolling her eyes. However, I’m not fully listening.
“People think angel’s as cutesy Hummel figurines or sweet nice beings like Roma Downey or Clarence in It’s a Wonderful Life,” I continue. “But if you read the Old Testament, they aren’t afraid to lay the hammer down on the devil or people who stray. Look at Sodom and Gomorrah–the angels there helped God lay waste to two cities. Or what about–and I realize this is the New Testament–the angels in the Book of Revelation?”
“I feel like I’m having a conversation with a 14-year old boy,” Alice comments. I’m still not picking up what she’s saying.
“If I had angel’s wings rather than fairy’s wings, you know what I’d like to do?” I say enthusiastically. “I’d like to crash some frat party when everyone is all drunk and debauched. I’d bring along a sword, burst through the door with my wings fully out stretched, and bellow, ‘Behold! The hour of judgment is now!’ Everybody would just crap their pants on the spot. There’s no way a guy could do that with fairy wings.”
“I think you better calm down before you get testosterone poisoning,” Alice says with a slightly mocking tone as she pulls her car into a parking spot. I look out and see we’re in front of The Green Lantern.
My rant over, I grudgingly accept the type of wings I have and assist Alice out of her car. We then walk through the doors of The Green Lantern and…
