I went for an HIV test on Monday and had to wait until today for the results (it came out negative btw).
This entire week has been the one of the most surreal of my life though. I couldn’t stop running through the previous 10 years of my life over and over in my head, wondering how many less-than-smart things I had done.
It felt like waiting a week to learn if I was going to die or not.
Anyone else experience this?
I’m like this when waiting for test results of any kind. You should see me climbing the walls while I’m waiting for Pap smear tests to come back!
I’ve had so many HIV tests over the years that I don’t find waiting for the results stressful these days, but I recall the anxiety of the mid-80s when we all used to spend up to 2 weeks waiting for our results and hoping against hell that 1) the “conventional wisdom” about the means of transmission was - indeed - correct and 2) that the “window” period for seroconversion was months and not years.
Everytime I’ve been pregnant, I had to take an HIV test. The first time, the waiting was really bad. I kept thinging of my past boyfriends, most of which were drug users and cheated on me at least once when I was with them.
It came out negitive, but yeah, waiting was a bitch.
I know the feeling. I’ve had a few HIV tests over the years, the first of which after discovering that a former lover was HIV+. Not fun. Waiting was brutal. I spent the whole time recalling all the not-so-safe things I had done. Big sigh of relief when I found out I was negative.
I still get tested from time to time as a part of regular checkups, since condoms are not 100% effective. Each time, I get nervous. Funny thing is, all the condom use and pickiness about partners might protect you from the disease, but not the fear.