Surviving Feeling Ugly...

In My Humble Opinion
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It’s life’s joke on us. If you’re pretty, no doubt the world beats a path to your door and thigns come easier for you. I’ve seen it 100x over. As for me, I guess I’m average. (Maybe we all say that.) Regardless, I know it affects my outlook, self-confidence, self-esteem, etc…and yet…

I know some with scars, etc. and they seem as happy and gitty as a lark. How do they overcome? It’s not an act…they’re too happy-go-lucky. If it affected them, they’d feel as somber as I do. I wish I had their bravado. What is their secret?
Quietly, I admire them for surviving. Maybe nothing’s hurt them to make them feel otherwise less than perfect in their own eyes… :o - Jinx

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I think I’m okay…

quicksilver

…but I just checked the path to my front door. Not exactly worn. :slight_smile:

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I’d be too camera shy to even have a site to cite…sigh… :frowning:

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Are you defining surviving as overcoming or as acceptance of said ugliness?

If it is the latter, I ahve something to say. If the former, I don’t know if anyone does, really.

Sorry I have no pic to back this up with (and wouldn’t know how to post it if I did) but I am considered very pretty by most. Or was, I should say. Thick, wavy honey colored hair, dark blue eyes, porcelain skin (I had no acne as a teen), slim and 5ft 7. Oh, well.

15 years ago I developed vitiligo–all over, right after the birth of my first child. No Jacko cracks, please–it ain’t funny.

It has been devastating to the point where I have no pics of me for the past decade. I gained weight(20 lbs), and went thru a horrible depression. Just now, I am starting to come to terms with it-all of it. I have started to lose weight. What I have experienced is true of almost anyone who has suffered a blow to their body image–maybe they lost a limb or had chemo-whatever. My doctor just said that I should be grateful that I am so fair skinned–ooh, gee, thanks, doc–let’s celebrate. In the winter, it almost doesn’t show–and I feel normal. In summer–it can be hell, frankly.

You get to a point where you say: well, I am not living my life in the house. I will not wear a burkha or equivalent just to make others comfortable. And so, you just do it. I decided to not be defined by my looks/disease.

And alot of people are assholes, mkay? I ahve had people refuse to shake my hand because of my “splotches”. I have had small kids run away from me. It ain’t fun.

Maybe someday I will get to be strong enough where I can be the poster child for dermatological rarities, but until then…you just do what you need to do to get thru. It is not something that I think about all the time–until I meet someone new and they look askance at me. I have not yet gotten to the point where I can takethe initiative just explain it in 2 sentences and move on. I say nothing and the well mannered say nothing also. I have found that I prefer the direct, but polite ones–the ones who say, “what is that on your skin?” in nice tones. I explain and that is the end of it.

Sorry to go on and on. I hope I helped.

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Last summer I was in a car accident which resulted in a scar which extended from my forehead down over my nose. It wasn’t too bad until I stupidly went out to mow the lawn without any sun protection, and then it got quite dark and noticeable. I was surprised at just how devastating it was. Fortunately, I’ve lived the life of a vampire since then and glopped on the sunscreen. It’s faded back at least to the level of the acne scarring. I don’t think I’d have coped very well if it hadn’t.
As far as average people who feel ugly, well, we all go through that. When I start feeling that way, one thought that comforts me is that beauty standards have gotten to the point that many more “unusual” people can be considered beautiful. I think many times people can change how they are perceived simply by being well-groomed. So, uh, in conclusion, you can make yourself feel better by keeping up with the shaving, wearing makeup, getting a good haircut, etc. Awfully profound, ain’t I?

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People with quirks and big noses and interesting and unusual faces are wonderful.

Scars are sexy.

If you have a caring and open heart, you will be beautiful no matter what.

And your attitude has much more to do with your success in life than your looks ever will. Trust me on that one.

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You can quote me on that too. I’m ok looking I suppose, but I have fooled my girlfriend into thinking I’m hot. Confidence, girl. It’s all about confidence.

Tilt up your head and smile. All women are beautiful when they smile. :smiley:

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Here is what I looked like graduating from nursing school. (I forgot that I had this on the computer) I am 21 here. I am now 42.
I hope this link works!

http://www.geocities.com/obnurseheather/Liberal.jpg

Sorry, no after pics. maybe someday (if I ever get a digital camera).

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I have hives with angiodema. What that means is there are days when I look like I’ve been beaten with a baseball bat. It hurts when people assume that DeHusband beats me, which he would never, ever do. But you can only hide so long. And as I’ve been told on this board, I look better today than I ever will again. Twenty years from now, will it really matter that I had a bad hair day, or a huge zit, or an eye swollen shut? No one is perfect. Happiness comes when you stop trying to be perfect and start doing what makes you happy.

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Hellooooo nurse! :smiley:

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:slight_smile:

Ta.

You made me smile–I clean up purty good, really… :slight_smile:

Angioedema is hell-I have a friend whose brother has that. And I agree with you re: happiness.