Yeah, I think it was probably too ripe to eat. While hippie girl was worshiping it, the other 2 were waaaaay over there by the water.
Give 'em a week or so. Bacterial decomposition adds flavor when you’re starving.
What in the world were those idiots thinking? They voted off Tina and she was their strongest person on the team. She’s the one who started the fire. She’s the one who found water…and a fish! I can’t imagine how this could be anything other than a really bad move on their part.
Also, why would somebody who knows he’s going to be gone for awhile not give up smoking before leaving for the show? Shane is another idiot.
That fish* really* didn’t want to be put in Tina’s purse. I wonder if she made use of one of those rocks.
All right, Survivor: Janu Island is off and running. And hey, I actually liked it. Time for the traditional random thoughts:
Cerie - I’ve heard of a ‘nipple slip.’ I haven’t heard of a ‘both-entire-breasts slip.’ That was more frightening than the scariest leaf you could imagine.
RoboAstronautMan - Suddenly I feel like George Hamilton. That sucker is white! I hope sunscreen is provided or he’ll burst into flames before too long.
Older Women - I know she was grating, but you have to wait until she builds the shelter before voting her off!
Younger Men - Wow, very impressive. You managed to barely not come in last place in the immunity challenge and no one died of blood loss. Congrats!
Lex Jr - AKA Smoky Joe. Did you expect to bum a smoke from the camera operators?
Missle Misty - Glad you weren’t voted off, if only because you’re from around here (she’s from Dallas right?). Glad to see some strategery right off the bat too.
Bobby - Decent first attempt at snark but it needs a little work (Golden Girls, Spice Girls, etc). You’re my fav on the male side so far though. Sorry that your team sucks.
Ninth of all, there’s no such profession as lumberjill. Gah. Even dippy, and so far useless, “I’m afraid of the leaves” Cerie had the sense to refer to her as lumberjack girl.
I can tell you, anticipation is high here at Casa de Pashnish.
So is derivatation, I suppose.
Alright, my thoughts after the first night.
The vote off was moronic. Absolutely stupid. Survivor 101, trim the fat (and I don’t mean this as a fat joke) in the opening sessions, then eliminate your rivals. The goal is for your tribe to survive the elimination challenges.
Smoker dude is a loser.
Missile Chick == teh h0tness, you all can back the f*ck off. I call dibs.
I thought it was hilarious how clueless this lot is, I’m betting heavily on the old dudes. They’ve got their act together. If they can just keep passing the immunity challenges they’ll be fine.
And I think they should do immunity differently. Instead of 3 and 1, make it 1 and 3. See how evil and wacky that makes the votes when you suddenly smash tribes together! Muahahaha.
For the record, I’d love to have Probst’s job. I really would.
So, I wasn’t paying very close attention. What exactly are the rules for Exile Island? How do people get there - is it always the reward loser, or will there be other ways in the future? And there’s one immunity idol there total, or is it one per episode? When someone finds it, do they save it until they can use it, or is it only available that episode?
WTFO?
Man, that was a stupid vote!
Way to perpetuate the stereotypes, teams. Younger Men play stickball. Not a clue as to how to build a shelter. Haven’t they seen the show? (Hint: You want rain to flow off of the shelter. Putting the fronds crosswise ain’t gonna do it. And you should actually cover the sticks. You know, like a ‘shelter’.) Younger Women, as pointed out by one of them, were indecisive.
The Older Men seemed to have a little going on, but the Older Women rocked as far as setting up camp. Too bad they can’t think. Did you see the IC? Three of them digging, and the other one just holding the rope. Derrrrr!
Not that anyone needed to, since the tinder seemed dry enough; but I’m wondering why none of the teams scraped the magnesium off of the firestarter. Needed or not, I’d do it just so I could burn some magnesium. I haven’t actually tried it, but I don’t think meditation generates much heat. And putting the fire in the pot? Seems there weren’t enough brain cells to rub together to generate heat either.
I think Missy was foolish to make people think she had the idol. What’s the advantage? ‘If they think I have the idol, they won’t vote me off.’? Well if they didn’t like you, they could force you to use the idol and vote you out next time. Only if you didn’t really have the idol you’d be gone immediately.
That Cereal Woman. Better get used to leaves. I don’t know if they provide bog rolls for the latrine. And tighten up your top, dammit! You really sounded as if you were digging a hole at the TC. Some people don’t know when to shut up.
Anyway:
Older Women: Got off to a good start, but it was due mainly to one of you. You blew it.
Older Men: Some life experience. Two of you have experience working in a team environment, and at least one of you has gone through SERE school. Smoking Man shouldn’t be there. Three packs a day? Aiyiyi. His head will explode.
*Younger Men: Young and athletic is good. If you can get over your Tom Sawyer syndrome and think things through and get some work done you might have a chance.
Younger Women: This ain’t the mall. There is no shopping. Decide what you need, and then get it. (That’s how guys shop.) You need fire, water and shelter. You don’t have fire. (Though it’s been shown you can make it with sticks sometimes.) Set the pot out to collect rainwater. Pick a damned spot and build a shelter.
Right now, the team who loses the reward challenge sends someone to exile island. They’ve pretty much said that they’re going to alter that rule on a semi-frequent basis ‘To make things interesting’.
I believe there is only one total. If you get it, you can use it whenever you want to until the final 3. Basically as long as your torch hasn’t been put out, you can use it (even after the votes are tallied).
It was, in my opinion, the best opening episode of Survivor ever.
There was a moment of disappointment when we realized it wasn’t wide-screen, but after that the theme song played. I don’t know whether anyone else has noticed, but it has been since Australia that the voices in the theme song were stronger than the instruments. This season, the voices are back. Huzzah.
I like the four-team idea. Should put a dent in Pagonging. I like the exile island idea. Good punishment but great potential. I like the new hidden idol — much better than last year’s. The fact that you can wait until after the vote makes it a huge big deal.
For some reason, I felt like I got to know the players quicker. After only one episode, I have a pretty good idea of who’s strong, who’s weak, who’s sneaky, who’s trustworthy, and all that.
The vote-off was moronic. The lady with the melon boobs was the obvious dead weight. The old women destroyed themselves last night. The season looks bright.
No. But one does carry the world on its back, supported by four elephants.
I’m trying to figure out who’s worth rooting for, not much luck yet.
Dan. “Pssst. I’m an Astronaut. Don’t tell anyone.” When I was a kid, I thought all Astronauts were cool. Thanks for nothing, Dan.
Shane. Suck it up, sweetheart. You sound like a menopausal Denis Leary. Just sit really close to the fire and inhale.
Melinda. This is Charlize Theron if she never, ever listened to her personal trainer. There are going to many wardrobe malfunctions in her future. She get’s points for tweaking Jeff.
Cirie. Cirie IS a wardrobe malfunction. Three words: Underwire reward challenge. Jeff, get on it.
Misty. I used to think missile engineers where smart. Then I met some. It’s not a serious plus or minus that that’s what Misty calls herself. Her ‘devious plan’ of pretending she found the immunity idol was, well let’s just say, uncomplicated.
Ruth Marie. She’s 48? Damn! I bet she gets sick of being called an ‘older lady’ and kicks Jeff in the balls. If she keeps from melting down, she might be worthy of the prize.
Danielle. If you volunteer to solo the first challenge, win it! That’s all I have to say for now.
I’ll profile more of our castaways later.
The four member teams was an interesting twist. It served to put everybody in immediate danger rather than the usual first episode situation where there’s an obvious loser who gets voted off. Tina will probably be remembered as the best player to ever get voted first off.
The Janu Island thing is also good. Nice to see some new twists in the show. But I think Misty made a mistake by trying to hint she had won the idol. You should never tell lies on this show unless you have a very good reason and can get away with it; neither of which was the case here. Misty is probably going to get called out on the idol and that’s going to make her a target.
As always, I hate the men vs women thing. It never works on this show. Everybody ends up smirking and flirting rather than strategizing and playing.
That said, I’ve heard that the four tribe thing was only for the first episode and the players will merge into two tribes in the second episode. Judging from the previews, where Cerie was talking about Shane, it would appear the older men and older women will be one tribe with the two young groups being the other.
There’s no doubt if I was on this season that I’d be an “old guy”. That said, I felt embarassed for the young tribes, especially the men. Are they really that stupid or were they just edited that way? Playing baseball instead of working, winking at the cute girls, floating hands, building a joke of a shelter, doing poorly at the challenges - all they needed was a keg to make them the perfect parody of four slackers on the beach. Granted the young women didn’t play much better, but at least I enjoyed looking at them.
My favorite player from week one: Samurai Bruce. Didn’t whine about his cigarettes. Didn’t play any “You’re an astronaut? Well, I’m a fighter pilot. Are we cool or what?” Just played the game and chopped up some coconuts.
Everyone’s already said what I was thinking.
I also laughed when Austin fell down right off in that Reward Challenge. After the bit of posturing and stretching, he goes and slips and falls. What a moron.
The other guy, Bobby, I think is his name, I don’t like him much either. His naming of the tribes - The Love Boat Guys for the older men, The Golden Girls for the older women, and calling his group and the young girls The Hotties (or something like that) irritated me. My knee-jerk reaction is that he’s a sexist jerk.
The Older Guys seem to work well together, although Shane’s withdrawal should make for interesting TV.
Cerie. What can I say? Have you not seen this show? You’re afraid of picking up leaves and sleeping outside? I think she’ll be Osten 2, crying to go home by episode four.
And as for voting off Tina - moronic beyond belief.
This is the first time I (we’ve) seen Survivor since the begining episode.
Cirie: Um What show did ya Think ya were getting on?
Shane: Picked a good time to quit, dude! Keep up the good work. Countdown to
implosion, anyone? (Maybe astronaut man should help)
Dan:…“I would Never lie to you…Yes, and I’m an Austonaut…” 
:dubious: :rolleyes: :wally
Older Gals: Voting the Only Strong member in the first show? Oy, have ya Never watched how this show works?
Younger Guys: You provided my high-point for the show, this week. :dubious: Trying to start in the fire IN the pot. Good…good…Nice shelter, boys…
All is well over here.
Howlie!! Howlie!! Nice Cameo.
And Pete the (scary-ass) Pelican! I saw Pete in the opening credits and in a cameo!
Hi Pete!
I missed the first 23 minutes because I didn’t realize it was on! Argh!
Agree that the older women made a really stupid mistake by voting off the only capable woman. Cirie is a disaster. She’s not athletic AND she is afraid of being outside.
Melinda is a bitch. Trust me. I know women like her. If she’s making nasty comments to Jeff on Day 1, just wait til Day 15. I want her to stay around for pure entertainment value.
Tommy Lee (Shane) was a crack up. He gave up 3 packs a day cold turkey! :eek: Even if he BEGS to be voted off, I’d keep him on to teach him a lesson. I mean, to help him overcome his addiction.
There’d be no way in hell I’d eat a rotting turtle. Fresh meat is okay. Spoiled meat = much gastrointestinal distress.
Oh, and I agree that the lumberjack should have whacked the fish on the head with a rock instead of trying to pick it up by its tail. And did I hear her right, that her 16 year old son died recently? Wow. Harsh.
More random snark from me, now that I’ve had a chance to sleep on it.
Heh. “One of the Ambers.” (You do realize that a tribe full of Ambers is like my own personal “Heathers,” right?) Anyway, in her bio on the CBS website Amber-Courtney’s occupation is listed as “performance artist,” which I believe is Secret Television Censor Code for “naked ‘art’ model.”
I believe Amber-Misty is a kindred spirit to Dave from the Amazon, who always had this dim smile on his face and did really stupid things while they flashed his occupation on the screen: “Rocket Scientist.”
I was trying to think of a way to describe this man to my husband, and this description is exactly it. What’s funny is, I think Shane probably somewhere in the back of his head thinks he belongs on the Younger Guys’ Tribe, but I think even meditating for fire would have winded him.
Hell, yeah! Listen: I am a big-chested women. My “sex” bras cover more than the top of her bathing suit! And according to Cirie’s bio, she swims regularly. I hope that is not the suit she wears at the Y, unless she’s “swimming” for tips.
Oh, come on. Pete isn’t scary. He’s awesome … I love the way he chased that whining ninny Osten the Big Dumb QUITTER! right off the show!Hey Pete, say hi to Howlie Jr. for me, OK?
Tina is from Hayward, Wis and she’s a lumberjack/log-roller?? Believe me, she’s tough. But yea, let’s keep the heavy, slow woman who’s afraid of leaves. To early to tell, but I bet this qualifies as one of the dumbest moves ever. THey better hope for a lot of brainy challenges, that’s their only hope. She lost her son 5 1/2 months prior.
Man, are the young people incompetent so far. At least the women managed to change clothes 2 or 3 times already. Maybe next week they’ll think about building a roof over their heads. At least they weren’t playing baseball.
Ruth-? is 48?? I liked her until she voted off Tina. Nice posture though.
[whisper] PS.) Can I trust you? I’m a computer programmer, but don’t tell anyone… [/whisper]