Swedocentric multi-rant about co-workers and more

The BBQ Pit
1

Christ…
I had forgotten how fucking stupid many of the people who work at my company were. As some of you may know, last wednesday the minister for Swedens foreign affairs was stabbed while doing some private errands in a large department store. She died the next morning. Anna Lindh was 46 years old, arguably the most well and widely respected politicians in the country, a wife and mother of two young boys, future leader of the Social Democratic party and thus likely Swedens first female president/prime-minister at some point in the future. She was also a huge inspiration to me as a young woman. Suffice to say that I am, along with most of the Swedish population, completely fucked over this. My heart fucking stops for a second every time I am reminded that this has happened. This is all without going into the impact of such things on the present open society in the country, and the implications if the murder should turn out to be politically motivated. Excuse the meta-rant.

Anyhoo…
Sitting there, doing my job, dumb bitch comes over, smacking her gum, and perches on my desk. She is thumbing through the newspaper. Comes to a page with the security camera pictures of the suspected murderer. Starts talking about how he looks cute, she would fancy him etc. I say that I am sure she can do better than a knife-weilding killer. She starts giggling and tells me to lighten up. Not wanting to make a scene, I don’t call her a fucking bimbo, but instead I just say “Sorry, the whole thing is just so awful”. She looks at me, with a touch of concern, then giggles and says incredulously…

“You’re really taking this seriously aren’t you?”

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! YES! You stupid fucking cunt, I am taking this seriously! I would even go so far as to say VERY seriously! I don’t even get a vote here, and I take the loss of what this person could have brought to the country seriously! I am personally offended that somone as fucking clueless as you gets to be a part of deciding. A little part of my love of democracy dies every time you open your fucking mouth. I am going to apply for double citizenship in order to counteract your general idiocy.

So, I don’t reach across the desk and smack her face, but that’s only because she jiggled away having delivered her bombshell. Instead I go to grab a coffee and a smoke, and convince myself that she is an abberation, that the Swedes in general really are the intelligent, insightful, thinking people I have come to know and love. On the smoking porch I manage to dance right into a “discussion” of the previous days EMU vote (no, btw), and the reasoning, if you can call it that, nearly brings me to my knees. The best one? Word for word, “I voted no, I could never vote the same as Persson, on principle”. Somone, come save me please?

2

Bimbos and morons are everywhere. All we can do is hope they don’t procreate.

3

Bimbos and morons are everywhere. All we can do is hope they don’t procreate.

4

Why am I not surprised.
But seriously, as Lord Ashtar said, they’re everywhere. However, there are Swedes who do take it seriously. Quite a few of them from the opposite in the political spectrum.
As for the referendum, color me sad, but not surprised. If you check out how the vote breaks down, it’s quite obvious why it went the way it did.

My choice - Sell Norrland to the Norwegians.

5

Mass murderers get wedding propositions over here. Don’t feel too bad.

6

Iteki, kill the bitch, I’ll give you an alibi. :slight_smile:
And The Gaspode while I may move to Norway at some time in my life, I’d like to remain in Sweden for the time being, after all, some of us voted yes. :slight_smile:

7

Now now, it was actually only Stockholm and the west coast of Skåne that voted “yes” overall. Selling Norrland wouldn’t have helped. Lest you get the wrong idea, I voted “no”.

8

On the selling Norrland thing, very funny comment in DNs culture section today about being a bad looser and how he was ready to have another referendum, let the bloody Jämtlännings have their republic etc.

Had to drop back in and add the update for day 2 of new job, and run-in number 2 with dumb bitch. Comes over to me at the end of the day to visit a while. I have my headphones on and am clicking around the application I am working in as I talk to her. In the LOUDEST of voices, she says “What? Are you just sitting there playing games?”. AAAAAAGHHHHHHHH CUNT!!! NOOOO!!!
I was so gobsmacked I didn’t know what to say, so I just said in a rather flat voice, “Yeah, that’s what I am doing, playing games”. It’s my second day of fucking work, I may not have much of a work ethic, but no, on day 2 of my job, I am not sitting there playing games. I haven’t even visited the straightdope, and have banned my IP from the various online games I play as a precaution. I don’t think my co-workers think I was playing games (nor the CEO who has his office right across from mine), and I don’t think the co-workers would mind too much if I were to indulge in a fast minesweeper, but you have set the fucking seed in their heads, and sullied me with your squeaky fucking comments. Stop coming to my fucking desk you silly cunt!

9

Next time, say loudly “No, I’m not playing games, I was working until you came over here to chit-chat!”

10

How did you get a new job in Sweden?

Isn’t that against the rules these days?

11

Iteki is one o’ dem furriners who come here to take our jobs. See, that’s what being part of EU leads to. We should get out while there’s time.

12

This explains why you didn’t collapse into convulsions of laughter when, in response to your complaints about the Swedish job market at last week’s DublinDope, I said that there was at least one high powered vacancy. Apologies for any offence caused.

13

How about that! Swedes crawling out of the woodworks everywhere. Multiplying. Spawning. Burgeoning. Swarming. Massing. And here I was, insulting Swedes left and right, safe in my assumption there were none. Help! Don’t know about the Norrland thing, but perhaps you’d consider giving us back Skåne, Blekinge and Halland?

Ps. Congratulation on the capture in the Anna Lindh case. What an idiot; going to a restaurant when you’re the most wanted man in Sweden. Talking of idiots…

Yep! We got them here as well. This seems to be a universal blot on womankind. Error in her programming. Bug in her DNA. Recently there was a case of a half Danish half American man who murdered his mother while in the US. He was caught and imprisoned, when this was reported in the news, he suddenly got a bunch of unsolicited mail from Danish women who apparently were quite open with their name and addresses. However suddenly he was released because the prison was overfilling or something, and he decided to come back to Denmark and check out all these fine women. Which promptly went into panic. Except one, which he moved in with, for about a year until he murdered her and her two small children, and chopped them all up into small bits and pieces. I feel bad for the children.

What kind of really massively mind boggling stupid do you have to be to send your name and address to a man which you know nothing about except for the fact that he is a murder? Why the fuck do they do this stuff? And would killing my neighbour improve my chances of landing a hot broad?

  • Rune
14

WS: Please take us (Skåne). I’ve had it with these fools.

15

Pffft, Gaspode, the Danes gave Skåne away fair and square at Roskilde and failed to reclaim itat the battle of Lund. If they couldn’t take it back then, they don’t deserve it now - even if the rest of the country can’t understand your accent.

Iteki, no country has a monopoly on morons, to be sure. Did you think the North Sea presented an insuperable barrier, or what? :wink:

16

manwithaplan, not a problem at all, these things happen.
Bimbo didn’t come to visit today thank god, but another woman I worked with “on the floor” (I got promoted up to programmer) came past and proclaimed “Well there’s you sitting around doing nothing!”. Can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow :smiley:

17

The Gaspode:

I would say: Free Norrland. Someone in the 70ties counted that it could survive better with its mines (and reindeers?) if there would not go so much money to Stockholm.

Iteki:

I like Swedes. I hate to say that in working life they, a quite a lot of them, are always trying to show that they are good, smearing the fellow worker.
They envy everyone. Or those that can’t compete with the others in any skill-level.

Just wait to the Christmas Party of Your firm. There all the shit comes down (if there is alchohol served.)

This happens in offices, not at the ‘outside’ work. There the Swedes are fair and square!

Henry

18

Sounds fair, but Haparanda stays Swedish.