Yes, you know what I’m talking about.
The Weekly World News this week reports that batboy has been hit by a truck.
They haven’t put it on the website yet, but the article in this week’s issue reports:
“He’s being treated in an undisclosed hospital…is depressed, sitting in bed, simply staring at the wall…he refuses to eat.”
Batboy! NOOOOooooOOOooOOO
{{{{batboy and family}}}}
I was all set to join Jarbaby in sending best wishes, but according this, Batboy attacked a 10 year old girl. This madness must be stopped!!!
BATBOY WAS FRAMED.
He’s just a normal fifteen year old boy, can’t you see that Fredge? Must you believe everything you read???
You do know that there is a Batboy musical currently runing on off-broadway?
Well of course there is, and no wonder.
Long live Batboy, may your truck injuries soon heal, that we may be graced with your big eyed, be-fanged smile once again.
jarbaby
Didn’t the truck have a radar detector?
I just cant help but post the link. http://www.batboy-themusical.com/ …as if his poor life wasn’t theatrical enough…
This is funny!
[sub]But bats use echo-location. Sorry to be all factual and stuff[/sub]
Batboy hit by a truck? That’s what he gets for endorsing Al Gore. Didn’t he learn anything from Ed Anger?
No way. “Dem bats is smart. They use radar.”
I suppose I could just have said, “Somedays you’re the bat, somedays you’re the ball.”
Nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah
Nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah
BAT BOY!!!
Sorry, couldn’t help myself.
Didn’t Stephen King get hit by a truck a while back? Do you think there might be some kind of connection?
Anybody know the address of the hospital where Batboy is staying? I’d like to send him something nice. Bugs, maybe.
Mr. Visible, are you kidding me? The vast outpouring of media and public support that would follow batboy makes sensitive information like that impossible.
jarbaby
Dude, that was fuuuuuuuny!
As for mis *Bunny, she’s just trying to throw you, you know how crafty them bunnies are.
[sub]For some reason, I’m picturing Johnny Depp in the back of a convertable, wigging out and saying “No! We can’t stop here! This is bat country!”[/sub]
Relief for the damned requires a very detailed procedure:
Dress in your sexiest outfit. St. Peter was a fisherman, therefore you should wear fishnets.
Go to your local Catholic church.
Put one Susan B. Anthony dollar in the collection box.
Light a candle. Pray, or at least look like you are praying.
Go to the closest bar. Order and drink a Bloody Mary, spicy, with a beer chaser.
Repeat step five.
Repeat step six.
Repeat sshhhttep shevuhn…
Try not to pass out in taxi home.
Voila!
[dressed as sexy vaudeville nurse]:
“I’m here to give you your sponge-bat!”
Look, don’t you guys get it? Bat Boy is a metaphor for our times. His capture by the government and his subsequent escape are equivalent to our own loss of self in the modern hurly-burly world we live in. The pursuit by government agents is a clear corollary to the sense of alienation we have, and the feeling that we, too, are really being pursued by government agents. The story of Bat Boy nobly resisting the government isn’t just the stuff of a cheap X-Files episode - it is an example of the transcendence of the human spirit.
Who among us can deny the pain we felt when we read that Bat Boy attacked that poor 10 year old girl? It was as if a little piece of innocence inside us all died that day. Driven to such madness by the constant torment and torture of others
he was forced to lash out at a cruel, unyielding society that insisted on castigating him and denying him the simple God-given right to live in peace
Poor, poor Bat Boy. Even as he learned to rein in his animalistic urges and even master human speech
in his vain attempt to woo the President’s daughter, he is still considered an outcast in our world
This attitude of hatred, fear, and mistrust of the unknown can only come back to haunt us. By rejecting Bat Boy, we are rejecting a part of ourselves. Even former Vice President Al Gore, upon being attacked by Bat Boy, understood Bat Boy for what he is and had this to say:
It’s as if Al Gore reached into my body and poured a dash of insight into my soul. Bat Boy is truly a Homeric hero of the ages, and like Bat Boy, only after a Campbellian struggle to find our role in the universe can we truly be at peace with ourselves.
Well…that.
and he’s funny lookin’!