Swing-turners

You know who you are, don’t you?

You, who’s first move after turning on your right turn signal (if you even do that) is to swing way over to the left into MY freakin’ lane! Listen, asshole, that’s not the USS Nimitz you’re piloting there, and it’s not 1965 either, with narrow streets and square turns and a bunch of Ford Galaxies on the road.

You’re driving a modern vehicle with a turning circle something like a hula-hoop, so just WHY do you feel it is necessary to negotiate every turn as if you are driving a school bus, causing all behind you to lurch out of your way and cause great distress to those of us who actually know how to drive?

And oh, yeah - That wierd thing when an extra lane suddenly grows out of the ground beside you shortly before the intersection? That’s called a turning lane. GET IN IT!

Those are the Phlegs.

What’s maddening is that they do this with a smile. You don’t exist. Neither does the road, really, except as some nondescript gray blur outside the car that has something vaguely to do with them and their driving. They make broad turns because each turn is a great event in their lives and because they’re not quick on the up-take with sudden changes.

The only thing you can do is avoid them. Blowing your horn, shooting the finger, even outright road rage won’t help. You’ll just confuse and disorient them further, possibly causing them to careen into you. Just keep a safe distance when you see a Phleg on the road.

How are you certain they aren’t Sanguine?

I’ve run across a few o’ these folks that I’d like to exsanguinate, does that count?

I rather think that a Sang will wish to exhibit his singular and extraordinary driving talent, threading the needle of the turn while he basks in what he surely perceives as the adoring adulation of those on the curb who are running for their lives.

What about if they display all four archaic “humours” in approximately equal quantities? Will they be shouting as they dolefully execute a wide yet exciting turn?

pan

They will be inventing new ways (Chol) to make their turn with hapless abandon (Phleg) while they brag loudly about how well they’re doing (Sang) and fret as they plan for the next turn to come (Mel).

Or possibly find that due to not caring about the route they take, they need to make a sudden turning, which they will do decisively and efficiently but brood about the fact that it was necessary in the first place.

pan

:smiley:

Yep, that’ll do it!

Chol and Mel?
Back in my day, the only 4 humours we had were Blood, Phlegm, Black Bile and Yellow Bile!
And that was good enough for us!

Choleric and Melancholy.

From today’s Dilbert on my calendar:

"From now on, all teams will be formed on the basis of Myers-Briggs Personality Types.

If you do not have a personality, one will be assigned to you by human resources."

:smiley:

pan

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Well, then there are the famous confirmation lights that they use, turn 'em on after they´ve turned to confirm that they meant all the time to turn (in case you think it was a sudden decision)

If i remember correctly from Driver’s Ed, you should always turn into the nearest lane, be it either right or left. We have an intersection here that I don’t dare make a left turn on green into my nearest lane even though the approaching traffic is using a right turn only lane. Invariably 2 out of 3 will use my lane as theirs. I believe many of truly believe it is first come, first serve.
I have tried to force the issue and use my lane and had way too many close calls and drivers flipping me off, blaring their horn, like I don’t have a clue. What is up with this?

Just to be clear this is not where my name came from! :slight_smile:

I always wonder how these two month old, barely noticable threads end up getting resurrected. Can someone please explain it to me? Pez, with the best will in the world: how come you ended up posting to this? Was it that you read it in January but only just found something the other day that was relevant? I’m curious.

pan