I don’t know if it’s the scary banks of snow along the road, or if people are just getting stupid (er?) But every day, on the way home from work, it happens at least once - yesterday, it was six times. Some fucktard will put two wheels in the turn lane, keep two in the lanes with people trying to go 60 and slow down to 20 fucking miles per hour before getting the fuck outta my way. I swear I’ll be installing a cow catcher on the front of my Jeep before the winter is over.
Look, you stupid fuck. Those lanes are there for a reason. I know for a fact that I can merge into a right turn lane at THE SPEED OF TRAFFIC and easily slow down before I have to turn. It doesn’t even require getting on the brakes hard. But, no. You have to start slowing down 1/4 mile before your turn lane. Fine. You suck, bu fine. You’ll be out of my way soon. Nooooooo. You now proceed to merge slightly, but keep just enough of your car in my lane to slow me down til you turn.
I know that the lane looks a little narrower with that tall bank of snow on the the side of it. But guess what? Your car will still fucking fit. Either learn how to merge out of the way before slowing down, or stay at fucking home til the snow melts.
You think that is bad. Today I was walking to work when I had to get off the sidewalk and onto the shoulder (the shoulder of a very busy and scary national highway) because some cunty waft was driving down the *sidewalk *instead of the fucking highway. I know your little K-car can fit on the sidewalk, sir, but that doesn’t mean it should.
Seriously, this happens to me at least once a month.
This wasn’t fair. I myself almost gave in to road rage this morning. New car, temp tag, new owner futzing around with the dials and doodles at the front of a column of cars stopped at a light. Green light, no motion. After 5 seconds I barely stifled my desire to just push her out into the intersection. Beeped at her instead. but it was a hateful and angry beep.
And no, I’m not on decaf, I’ve quit the bean altogether. Mostly.
Look, you dumb fuck. That thick white line painted at the intersection? There’s one at every intersection with a traffic light or a stop sign. I’m sure you’ve seen it before, and its intended purpose is not, as you seem to think, to pretend to balance your vehicle’s center of gravity on. Nor is it a convenient resting place for your rear tires. When you pull onto the crosswalk, it’s inconvenient to pedestrians, and makes it difficult for me to judge the oncoming traffic without pulling out myself.
You pompous cock. Yes, I know you like to cuddle real close with strangers, but the whole “leave one half car length at 75 mph” is not cool. I often see a pack of five cars, and the fifth one is where I’d be if I were following the first one! If that first guy gets a blowout, an elk runs into the road, or any of the numerous other reasons that make the other half of my drive necessitate a 55 mph speed limit when most normal people can handle a 65 limit, all five of you are fucked! And don’t pass me on the right just because I’m leaving a bit of space in front of me. Fuck you. I’m going to speed up every single time; fuck courtesy, you passing-on-the-right piece of shit.
Response #1
I don’t know - I haven’t tried it. I did chuck a half full cup of regular at the last guy who was too stupid to figure out the turn lanes. He just slammed on his brakes and cussed at me as I drove by - so that didn’t work at all. Do you think decaf would make a difference?
or
Response #2
Nope, but I see the prunes are working for you. Keepin ya regular for shittin in other peoples’ threads?
I really wanted to do #2, but this is the pit and you can say what you want. Meh, I guess take your pick.
Exactly. Snow has very little to do with this. The OP is very generous in trying to provide this people with an excuse, but this is 100% stupidity on their parts. Snow is an innocent bystander.
Crap. The truth is these kinds of driving idiocies turn me into raging beast. Trying to vent here just tends to make it worse as the thread will tend to fill with half the people hating slow and/or inconsiderate drivers and the other half hating those of us who want them out of our way…you can’t really win.
But this little gem made me smile when I read it. It would almost worth becoming a cop just so I could ticket people riding slow in the right hand lane:
No doubt about it, they are just stupid. They do this in the left turn lanes too, where you’d think that with the driver being on that side (US here) they’d have better judgement of how close they are to the curb. And please don’t swerve out when you make your turn, you nit-wit. These clueless morons get a honk from me every time.