Well, here’s another totally weird-ass question that any dopers here who are knowledgeable in the martial arts might be able to help me with…If you got into a sword fight with a Golem (Or similar artificial being), what kind of sword would be the best for you to use? Even assuming for the purposes of this argument that the Golem was made of something less dense than solid stone or metal, and could still feel pain, if having a much higher tolerance than a human.
My guess was that a “chopping” style blade would be most effective, Seeing as a Golem wouldn’t have any vital areas to stab, and one’s only means of disabling the creature might be to decapitate or dismember it. But which sword would be the best? Would it make a difference weather the you’re an experienced or inexperienced swordsman when choosing a weapon?
Well, thanks for your time,
Ranchoth
A very strange question indeed, and utterly without rationale.
I’ll answer if I can.
My vote goes for the Falcion.
This large sword was developed concurrently with the development of plate armor. It resembles a large machette, and it’s purpose was slashing through plate armor, thereby killing the armored knight. It isn’t a finesse weapon. It’s a big heavy machette that can slash things due to it’s weight.
Does it have to be a sword? Personally, I’d go for nice, big axe. But if you have to have a sword, I’d suggest a heavier, wide-bladed sword. This would not only give you necessary chopping power, but would also provide the strength necessary to withstand the stress on the blade.
As for expertise, I think more is better. An experienced swordsman would accomplish the job with less effort than an inexperienced one, due to economy of movement (getting the biggest bang for the buck).
Swords aren’t terribly efficient choices for dealing with inanimate objects, IMHO. They lack both the weight to smash tougher materials, and the penetrating power to make a small hole and reach something vital within. The length of the blade makes it a bit more prone to getting stuck in its target, in the same way that a saw sometimes binds or hangs up when cutting wood. You’re better off with a mace, an axe, or a pick of some sort.
If I had to choose a sword, it would be something European or Mediterranean. A falcata (early Greek-style short sword) would be good for raw chopping power. A Nordic-style broad sword with an extended hilt for two-handed use would also have value – a good thick chopping blade.
It can feel pain? It’s clearly defective. Who made this thing?
My vote goes to something long and heavy with a lot of chopping potential; a cutlass or braodsword. Hell, just take an axe to it and pretend it’s a mobile tree. Me, I’d go for distance with a poleaxe or scythe if I could get my hands on one (and knew how to use it without killing myself).
Me? I’d drop the sword and find something much more dense and round. A good mace would be ideal, maybe a morning star or flail to get a bit more distance.
For a golem, the pencil is mightier than the sword. If you erase the words on its forehead (change “emet” (truth) to “met” (death), it will collapse back into clay and cease to be animate.
I’ll take the Dragonslayer from Berserk. If an eight foot long, two foot wide blade that was designed to kill a dragon in one swing can’t do it, well, I don’t know what else could. Of course, if you’ve got enough strength to wield the damned thing, you could probably beat it to death with your bear hands anyway…
But I agree that overall, a sword is the worst weapon to use. A good mace or war hammer would do nicely. Especially if it’s kind enough to sit still and allow you to hold a chissel in the right places. Big swords used to deal with full plate mail armor essentially lost their edge after the first few swings and became nothing more than bludgeoning weapons anyway, so you’d essentially be using a long stick to beat a golem if you used a sword. A lead pipe would probably be even more efficient.
Well, if we’re limited to swords and sword-like weapons, I’d use a machete because that’s what I’m trained to use. The falchion thatForbin mentioned would be a good second choice. You want a chopping weapon, but one that you can move quickly, because speed is going to be your only real advantage. This would definitely be the way to go with a flesh golem.
If your golem were metal, I’d recommend some railroad spikes. Once you spike its joints, you can dismember it at your leisure.
Against a clay/stone golem, a warhammer would be my weapon of choice. If I only had a sword, I’d run away and look for something better.
Chainsaws are bad in combat against solid objects. The chain tends to bind and snap when you swing it at things. It’s even worse if you have to parry a blow with the thing – one good whack and you have 15 lbs. of useless machinery in your hands. Even if the chain didn’t break, and the blade it runs around didn’t bend, you’d have to deal with kickback. You might kill yourself with your own weapon while trying to take down Mr. Golem.
A katana is not the ultimate weapon that hype has purported it to be. It’s a relatively fragile blade when brought up against non-yielding surfaces. It would break when used on plate armor, and a relatively solid golem would have the same effect. Katanas are optimized for draw cuts against fleshy enemies, with light or no armor.
What would you rather have if you were demolishing an Oldsmobile? A katana or a claymore? A chainsaw or a sledgehammer?
Chainsaws are bad for another reason. Think about a chainsaw like a gyroscope. They’re next to impossible to weild effectivly. I second the sledge hammer, or if necessary, the heaviest sword availible.
