I got these in an e-mail, but they are so funny I had to share…
**
Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate.
**
* Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have
* never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
* A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this
question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops
any
lower…
* Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
* A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
* Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin
to
Perth to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
* A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are
being held in Sydney.
* Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
* A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, so you’ll need to
have started about a year ago to get there in time for this
October…
* Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
(Sweden)
* A: And accomplish what?
* Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of
places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
* A: I’m not touching this one…
* Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of
them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
* Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
* A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...
* Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
* A: No. Everybody stinks.
* Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
* A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages,
and most national parks…
* Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
* A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...
* Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
* A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.
* Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
* A: Yes. At Christmas.
* Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
* A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.
* Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
* A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.
* Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia? (USA)
* A: What’s this guy smoking, and where do I get some?
* Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)
* A: Another blonde?
* Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
* A: I love this one…there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.
* Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
* A: Face North and you should be about right.
* Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
* A: Americans have long had considerable trouble
distinguishing between Austria and Australia.
* Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but
I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
* Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love
outdoors?
(Italy)
* A: Yes. Outdoors.
* Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.