You could still walk out I suppose. Grab your keys, step outside, hold the door open for him, if he doesn’t exit, close and lock the door, arm the alarm, wait for it to start wailing. When the security company ring, explain that you have an intruder in your house and that they’d better get over there.
I’m generally pretty direct with salesmen and telemarketers, especially if I’ve had experience with the product they’re trying to shove off on me. Just yesterday I got one:
Him: “Hello, I am with Bell Canada, blah blah blah Sympatico high speed Internet service blah blah blah free for the first three months, blah blah bl–”
Me: “I’m sorry, I’ve already had Sympatico. The service was garbage. I have no desire to go back.”
Him: “What is your name, ma’am?”
Me: “Mindfield. And I’m a Sir.” (BZZT! You just hit one of my pet peeves. So I don’t have a rumbling baritone, I still do not sound like a ma’am!)
Him: (ignoring the correction) “But Bell Sympatico blah blah blah, free for 3 months, blah bla—”
Me: “But it’s still a garbage service I’d get for free, and then I’d be paying for a garbage service.”
Him: “What service provider do you have now?”
Me: “Rogers.”
Him: “Do you have basic or lite?”
Me: “Extreme.”
Him: “Okay, extreme.” (writes some sort of note.) “You see, Bell Sympatico blah blah bl—”
Me: “I do not want Bell’s garbage service. I am very happy with Rogers.”
Him: (obviously realizing I wasn’t budging) “I see. Okay. Goodbye.”
The last he said with a voice dripping with disdain. Too bad, Bucky. Hard sell me after I’ve already said “no” not once, but twice – and call me ma’am – and you get less than nowhere.
I only ever had one in-home demonstration call. It was for a home carbonation unit, and they promised a free two-litre bottle of name-brand pop – your choice. Being a pretty hardcore Coke fiend at the time I figured, “What the hell?” The sales guy came over and demonstrated it for me – at which point I discovered that the two-litre pop wasn’t actually a bottle they’d leave with you to consume at your leisure, but rather one they made for you right there with the carbonation unit and Coca Cola syrup, and you had to drink it while the sales guy was there. (Obviously you only drank what you wanted, the 2L was just a limit)
I have to admit I liked the unit, and it was cost effective in the end, but that was only after you bought the unit. Which cost $1,200. After that I begged off saying that was a lot of money and I’d have to give it some serious thought. He left me his card to call him when I’d decided and that was that. It was about half an hour or so of explanations and features and benefits and such, but fortunately the sell wasn’t all that hard, so he was easy to get rid of as long as you left him with the idea that he may get a sale out of it after all, just not right then and there.
I was young then though. These days I wouldn’t invite a salesman over for a demonstration of anything unless I really have been planning to buy something like the salesman was selling.
Whatever you do, do not let that jackass into your home. A long while ago I was naive enough to do so and was stuck with the guy for almost 2 hours. About 10 minutes was a demonstration of the (then) $1200 vacuum. 20 minutes of actual cleaning. Then an hour and a half of this joker I couldn’t get rid of. I made it explicitly clear I was only interested in the free cleaning… but that’s just it… they know most of their potential suckers are doing just that. They win by WEARING YOU DOWN. I was beside myself with the smoke and mirrors this guy was trying on me. One in particular was an obviously fake phone call with his supervisor, asking if he can slash the price for me. While he was engaged in this “call” (there was no one on the other end), he said things like “What?! Even a paperboy could afford that?! HAHAAHAH! That’s a good one boss!”. GAG.
Long story short, I was able to withstand the onslaught, and I was exhausted by the time I got this fool out of my home, and vow to NEVER let it happen again. It’s NOT worth it. They’re the devil. You’ve been warned.
Many years ago my husband took a job with Kirby. He lasted one day, as he is an honest and reasonable person. The “sales technique” he was taught included taking the whole machine apart to demonstrate all its components and features and not putting it back together again. It was all about persistence and intimidation.
Do not let that salesperson in the house!
Am I the only person reading this thinking that I would just call the police? For many of these situations, I would have ended the conversation with “Leave now, or I’m calling the police” If they don’t start heading out the door, I’d be on the phone with the police…period.
Remember folks, once you’ve asked them to leave, they’re trespassing and they can be arrested for that.
A friend of mine did actually threaten to call the police after a Kirby salesman would not leave. He’d fallen for the “we’ll clean your carpets for free” spiel but had to leave in the middle of the sales pitch to go play baseball. When he returned, the man was STILL THERE with his wife who was in tears because he simply wouldn’t leave. My friend walked in the house, saw the look on his wife’s face, picked up the vacuum cleaner, threw it out the front door and told the salesman that he had thirty seconds to get out of his house. Then he started counting.
The phone offers a great built-in device for dealing with persistent salesmen. On some models it’s the “off” button; in others it’s simply placing the phone back on its cradle. It works wonders. You should try it sometime.
In fact, I also use my front door to filter out unwanted guests. It has glass panels so it’s very easy to look out and see who’s on my front porch. If it’s a man with a clipboard or a teenager with a Rubbermaid container or a Jehovah’s Witness with a pamphlet, I’ll look straight at them, turn around, and walk away. Some get the message right away and others take awhile. I don’t care; I didn’t invite them to my home and there’s no law that says I have to answer my doo. I really think that if more people exercised their right to privacy, there’d be fewer of these salesmen around.
Seconded. Nothing good can come out of this. Unless you see it as a sport to get as much free cleaning as you can (which won’t be much) and unless you think you’d actually enjoy playing the mind-game against a hard-sell-tactic.
Remember the saying: there’s no such thing as a free lunch?
Wow, I certainly hope you are going to take all these warnings seriously, and not assume it’s worthwhile to deal w/ these jackals to get a piece of clean carpet. CANCEL THE APPOINTMENT!
Several years ago, my ex and myself used to frequent a comfortable little neighborhood type bar, and Kirby started renting space nearby, so it became the Kirby salespeople’s “place to unwind”…thankfully, that didn’t last too long, because those people ARE the devil, as previously posted, and they were quite proud of their persistance in getting sales. One guy decided he was going to show me how he sold, and started the spiel, and when I told him he’d never even get inside my house, he told me his way around that was to manage to dump a bunch of dirt inside, so the owners would have to let him in to test the machine…I told him at that point, he’d cease to breathe, and I can’t remember specifics, but he finally went away.
My point is, they’ll DO ANYTHING, and they’re PROUD OF IT!!!
My wife fell for this before.
A friend actually suggested it. I did not know it was Kirby. And I can not remember all the circumstances of how it got past me but they ended up at the door one day.
I knew after questioning my wife a bit more that it was gonna be some salesmen. I told her so and to tell you the truth I though it was gonna be professional carpet cleaners. She insisted that they would clean an entire room and were doing out out of friendship. We actually moved a bunch of the furniture to facilitate the cleaning. A friend sent them over she said. They may want to sell something we will be firm. Oh… and we didn’t have a vacuum at the time. We were borrowing one from a good neighbor.
With the short notice and no real way of contacting them to cancel I had no choice to agree.
An man and his wife showed up he talked mostly while she cleaned.
Boy they worked hard they actually cleaned an entire floor of of our tri-level home. behind the couch. They cleaned all the corners, our stairs, our mattress, and all sorts of other things. I think they cleaned for an hour straight at least. Of course all the while trying to sell to us. I let them keep talking and would ask obscure questions like what the filter were made of. They kept switching filters and going into demo mode and suggesting how dirty our house was and how we needed the thing.
Then on to the hard sell. true it was entirely dismantled on our living room floor with all the accessories. It took up a large area. The really worked up the guilt. We had no money to buy it and they did no take that for an answer. I think they wanted 1200.00 for it. They kept saying that anyone can afford 1200.00. And kept after the payment plans. They would write the price on a piece of paper and hand it over. And the wife was like, look I cleaned your whole house at least you can buy the damn thing (with her eyes). After many nos they started to pack their things. They looked sad and did it slowly. All the while saving that I tricked them and that they didn’t have time for this sort of thing. And we should buy it because they are poor.
I am good at the hard sell and was prepared. I did a good job of squeezing all the cleaning out of them as possible. They pissed me off for some reason mid way through and after I stated we would likely not buy one right when they started. It was then I decided to put the squeeze on them. I told them I may buy a used on e on ebay. For a last kicker.
We were pleased with the job they did cleaning. There sales tactics were harsh and rude at times. But in the end I felt I made it worth it with the reverse squeeze.
I still cant believe that our friends who actually bought one sent them over. I think they were trying to get a bonus or something. For other reasons they are not longer actually friends.
Kirby salespeople are trained to pump likely prospects for the names of people they know who might be interested. I don’t remember clearly, but I think it involved a discount or something if you came up with 5 leads. Folks who aren’t terribly shrewd about the hard sell will tend to give up the names without realizing just how rude it is to sic these people on friends…
<hijack> Vaccuum cleaners cost THAT MUCH in the USA??? Holy crap. </hijack>
For sales you don’t want I always find that silence is a useful tool. Let them ask if you want it and reply ONCE. After that just wait in silence, maintaining reasonable eye contact. It’s a curious feature of human psychology but having someone just not responding to them seems to embarrass the hell out of sales people. Works for phone sales too though of course hanging up is an easier option.
The average vacuum cleaner does NOT approach that price. Kirby has always been expensive because it’s supposed to be a high-end. The same with the Dyson (though from what I’ve read the Dyson actually works well enough to come close to justifying the price). But the average vacuum cleaner, a Hoover or something like that? Nowhere near.
Yeah most “normal” vacuums run $75-$150 or so.
Hey, don’t forget to multiply the “easy monthly payment” times the term of the “guaranteed credit” that they offer you. The Kirby actually costs over three thousand dollars.
You can get maid service for that.
Tris
Bolding mine
Can I just say that I laughed so hard at this that my two-year-old daughter just asked if I’m all right.
While he cleans your floor, you clean your guns. 
That should also ensure he does a good job of cleaning the floors.
Yeah, what’s the point of the spyhole in the door, if you’re just going to open it anyway? Even moreso, what’s the point of even locking the door if you’re just going to open it for any fool with the ability to knock?
The appointment has been canceled. He called to confirm, I said we had something spring up, thanked him, then hung up.
Nicely done, and thanks all!
Good job, HubZilla!
People were asking why it was so hard to just tell them to leave the house, or threaten to call the police to get them gone. I think it’s because it just seems so rude to threaten someone or to threaten to have someone arrested when the person obviously has no intentions to physically harm us. My first thought when someone suggested calling the police was “That’s a little extreme.” But after a second I realized that it really was analogous to someone breaking into your home. Yes, you invited them in. But the revocation was implicit in the invitation. You can decide the visit is over at any moment you choose, and if the person remains after that point, they’re trespassing. But it’s difficult to SEE that when you’re actually in it and you “have to make a scene” to get what you want.
If you need additional motivation to avoid the sell, I offer the following story:
My first job out of college was for a defense contractor. We worked in a huge cubicle farm. (several acres at least) My department was moved from one corner of this soul less sea to the other. This was done over several weeks, one engineer moving each day.
I was among the last to make the move. One day before that happened, my phone rang: “KEVBO! Johansen* bought a vacuum cleaner from a door to door salesman for $800 ** and we’re all making fun of him…Get your ass over here!”
Being a bunch of 20 something assholes, we were brutal. “Hey Bill, You must have LOTS of relatives, I hear there is a Johansen born every minute!” We didn’t bring him to tears, quite. And we did end up taking him out to lunch for being such a good sport, and not actually killing any of us.
I will say that Kirby’s are well built, durable, repairable, AND overpriced. Growing up, my neighbor across the street made his living selling used ones. He’d pick them up at estate sales and such, work them over, and sell at about half the new cost. His kid was a couple of years older than me, and he did piece work buffing the aluminum parts to a mirror finish.
*Name changed, cultural origin preserved.
** It was a Rainbow, not a Kirby.