Take me out to the ballgame! Or not. Pitting baseball.

Neurotik, a wonderful response!

You speak as if the baseball fans are quietly retiring to thier homes to watch the game with silent reverence.

Actually, I have notice these smart and good looking fans of the sport to not be quite so restrained.

If they are smarter than the average dope on the street then it certainly doesn’t show when they are talking about the sport. Every person I work with, strangers on the street, the news, the radio they all talk about the series against the Yankees constantly. They don’t even talk about the game for the most part, but the series of incidents among the players.

I shouldn’t be surprised that the issues on the sidelines are more interesting than the game even to these noble fans of which you speak.

After all who wants to watch two and a half hours of nothing happening on the field when you can see a cleated foot being struck repeatedly into the face of a groundskeeper in the bullpen. Who cares to talk about the game when you can spend the afternoon gossiping about a 72 year old man being knocked to the ground by a 160 pound pitcher!

Morally deficient neanderthals, indeed.

Certainly in a comparison these things are more interesting than the actual game. Of course, being more interesting than baseball is about as challenging as the Terminator facing a steel cage match against the Gerbil.

Why do I even know that that 72 year old tub of shit is nicknamed the Gerbil? Why do I know that although its widely believed he doesn’t actually have plates in his head. Rather, he has 3 holes or some such fucking inane nonsense.

Could it be that these noble fans of baseball simply don’t know how to shut the fuck up and or talk about anything else besides this crap?

The radio, even my beloved talk radio! It won’t stop squaking about the game. Even during the game, Jay Severin was on a different channel talking about the game during his political talk show. Hey, Jay, if we gave a half a shit about baseball don’t you think we would be listening to th game instead of tuning you in at the same time the game is on?

The dipshit politicians we elect in this country still haven’t declared superbowl Monday a national holiday. Meanwhile, it’s somehow socially acceptable for my entire fucking office building to leave the office yesterday to watch the game at 4.

superbowl monday???

“The radio, even my beloved talk radio! It won’t stop squaking about the game. Even during the game, Jay Severin was on a different channel talking about the game during his political talk show. Hey, Jay, if we gave a half a shit about baseball don’t you think we would be listening to th game instead of tuning you in at the same time the game is on?”

So if you don’t like baseball, then noone should?

Why thank you. It took me three tries to get it in and I still wasn’t sure it went through the third time. Glad my ten minutes of effort was a rewarding experience for all.

Not at all. But they aren’t breaking into your house and forcing you to watch ala Clockwork Orange, either.

Smart and good looking doesn’t mean restrained.

Right, because every other sport is so much different. Remind me again which got bigger play - the game or TO signing a football? The game or TO celebrating on the Dallas midfield? The game or Kyle Turley throwing a helmet down the field? The game or Shaq nearly taking Brad Miller’s head off? The game or Kobe and Reggie duking it out? The game or Miami and New York brawling with New York’s miniature coach clinging to the leg of Mourning? The game or Sapp taking down Clifton and then challenging Sherman to a fight?

Don’t give me this crap that the only sport where a fight gets all the press is baseball.

Same thing in football.

Wah, wah. Other people like different things than me and I’m too stupid to be able to follow in their fun. Wah, wah. I know what will make me feel better! Trashing what I don’t understand! Yeah, look at me, I’m big and tough!

Wah, wah. Everyone is interested in a subject I’m not. Wah, wah.

Well, when the Super Bowl is played on a weekday, I’m sure you’ll see plenty of people take off early to watch it. But it’s not, so they don’t.

If I thought you had the mental capacity, I’d suggest that you read a book as all other forms of entertainment seem to be focused on baseball right now. But since I’m not sure what you’d do after the hour it would take you to read “Dick and Jane,” I’ll have to think of something else to suggest.

Oh, and wipe the drool off your keyboard, chump.