[[[[[Guin]]]]]
That is a near-perfect description of my GF. She’s been working at CVS for four hours every Sunday. Her store is promoting her from stocker to cust. service and giving her two more days a week.
Notice that your father is a grownup, Guin. 
He’ll handle it. Believe me, in his “x” number of years kicking around on this planet, he’s received MUCH worse news in his time than “Daddy, I quit my job at K-Mart…”
If it was MY dad, and I told him that, he’d throw me a “Congratulations” party, he’d be so relieved. 
“Oh, good, you’re going to get a REAL job now…”
I can somewhat relate (though most of my jobs were very brief). I worked at Target as my first job, and it was a miserable existance. Working five consecutive 10 hour days has an uncanny way of draining one’s soul and sanity. I also had to deal with perpetual payroll screwups where I wouldn’t get paid overtime/extra hours that THEY scheduled me to work for. I tried to suck it up, thinking, this is my first job ever, I’m probably just spoiled from never having to work this hard, etc. But no, it was unnatural (well, for any business beyond retail). I swear it almost made me suicidal. I was the only decent person there- Every other employee consistently stole from the store. I got transfered which cut my pay because the new store paid .50 less an hour. Miserable customers, miserable co-workers, it was just too much to bear. College was starting soon, and I just told them I didn’t have time to work during the school year. Maybe if it wasn’t horrible and wasn’t retail I’d be willing to work part-time, but not at that hell-hole. I swear I have never felt more worthless than working there, being a bottom-of-the-barrel corporate peon.
Now, I work part-time as a crossing guard, make more money working 1/5 the hours and love the job. Fits my school schedule nicely.
Good for you, Guin! You’ve paid your dues in retail hell! On to bigger and better things!
Have you considered temp work? It’s usually not intellectually stimulating, but it pays better and is a lot less stressful than retail. Plus, people are amazed and grateful when you can do simple tasks–filing, drafting letters, using Excel–correctly.
You majored in history, right? Me, too–which is why I’m temping. Yay, fascinating but hard-to-employ disciplines!
Government work is easy? HAH! I worked as the City Clerk for 18 months. Working with the public, not to mention politicians, is just freaking impossible. Let me highlight some of my calls:
“Um, yes, I’m calling to report that my daughter has been asked to be a bridesmaid in her cousin’s wedding. She is only 10. Is that legal?”
“I don’t care what you say about federal requirements (that she needed to put an environmental label on her refrigerator as proof that the freon was removed and disposed of properly). I’m going to leave that damn refrigerator on my curb until you pick it up. And if some kid gets in it and dies, I’ll sue you because it’ll be your damn fault.”
“I can talk to you however I want, madam. YOU are a government worker and I am a taxpayer. That makes ME your boss.”
“Yes, my power went out a half hour ago. When will it be restored?”
“Your trucks just went by and plowed my street. However, they pushed all the snow to the side and now I am blocked from backing out of my drive. They need to come back and clear my driveway.”
Temping my ass. Get yourself a job as a bike messenger! (n.b. this idea is a lot less attractive if you have chilly winters) You’ll proally make more than K-mart wages, gets you in great shape, real interesting co-workers, and you’ll visit loads of buisness every day. Keep your resume handy and don’t be afaird to leave it with the odd secretary.
Good luck
True, I just don’t want to hear him get upset. He worries too damn much, and then he flips out. It’s just easier to say, “Oh Dad, don’t worry about it! I know what I’m doing!” and not say anything. So far, my mother told him I’m taking time off. Which, techinically I am…just permanantly. Hehehe…really. I know, it sounds like I don’t respect the guy. I’m just not in the mood to hear, “Oh, well-what about your loans? Are you sure you’re okay, honey? Because I’m worried…” sigh
Researcher-it does sound like a great idea-because I LOVE to research. That’s why I’m going to set up an appointment with the career counselor. I’ll also see about the Job Center-thanks for the info!
Actually, like I said, it IS a good thing I still live at home-because I couldn’t have done this if I didn’t. People who tell me to move out-I’d rather be home and NOT have to work at Kmart than be moving out-and have to face that misery.
tlw-YOU were at La Roche? How long ago? What did you teach? Did you know Dr. Brett and Dr. Jourin? I can’t wait to go back for my masters-I sincerely loved it.
I wouldn’t mind phone work-I could make faces and give the receiver the finger. Plus, I have a thick skin when dealing with customers.
Now, I just have to see about a discounted dress for my Titanic banquet…cross your fingers!
You’ll know her when you see her. She will be the one with the bright red eye makeup, the orange and green hair, the striped blouse and checkered pants. She will address you as Herbie. She will react to a ringing phone my yelping and spraying it with that canned air they use for cleaning keyboards. Her fingernails will have been painted with white-out and black magic markers. She will have a dead rat in her desk she calls “Dave”. Her desktop will be covered in magazine cutouts of random mouths and eyes.
Ya gotta admit, that would be odd.
Good luck with your job search. I see you are living at home. Why not go back to school and get another degree or a higher degree? I so wish I had done this instead of … well, I wish I had done that. I loved college.
BTW, I hate KMart. I am glad you no longer have to endure the madness of Blue Light Specials and other pains.
Best of luck.
pv
I am going ot go and get a higher degree-but that requires moola.
Well, I came into this thread late, and I want to address something in the OP. First, though, I want to say CONGRATUATIONS!!! I smiled when I saw the thread title.
See, this is something that some folks don’t get. Just because they can suck it up, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with people who choose not to.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the line about, “Well, I trudged through snow both ways and worked 24 hours straight and ASKED FOR MORE, so what’s your problem?” I know that there are hardy souls out there that seem to have unlimited endurance for miserable jobs. But you know what? It is also my opinion that a certain percentage (a high percentage, if you ask me) of these “long suffering and enduring” people are really just martyrs. They ENJOY the misery. Or, they feel they have no choice but to be miserable. But it still doesn’t make the job less miserable, just because they are willing to put up with it.
There’s a lady where I work who keeps on working 16 hour days, day after day. And then she has to be out sick for months at a time, because a work-related injury flares up, or is made worse because she works 16 hours a day! But I’ll bet the bosses consider her a “brave little trooper”, because she is always willing to put in all those extra hours, and continue to put her body at risk. But you know what I think? Between you and me (and how many kajillion other Dopers)? She’s an IDIOT. My gosh—the job does not pay that well. The rewards of the job are not worth her RUINING HER HEALTH for good. But yet she’s a brave little trooper. And I’m sure I’m considered substandard by comparison, because I refuse to do hardly any overtime.
But do I care? Do I feel guilty? Absolutely not. I already went through that drill with my last few jobs. No more. My health is not the boss’s concern, they will schedule me 'till I drop. So I have to be the one to decide how much I can take. My boss is in no position to decide how much I can take. My boss is in no position to decide that the project or event I have waiting at home for me is “not important enough”, and that I really should work some overtime instead.
But, if you let them, bosses WILL try to make these decisions for you. They will work you 'till you drop, and they won’t bat an eye. So you must decide for yourself how much you can take—this is a decision only you are entitled to make. Not them, YOU. And frankly, between you and me (and a kajillion other dopers) I’d be worried about the coworkers who seem to have an unlimited amount of gumption and patience for a dreadful job. Something’s got to give eventually—we’re all human. I worry about people who “suffer in silence” for way too long.
So, this is my way of telling you that you did the right thing—the smart thing. You got out before they sucked the last bit of life and spirit out of you. And like Manda JO said—had you been on this job only a week or a month, it would have been a different story altogether. But you’ve been at this for a few YEARS. You’ve proven that you can take a certain amount of bullshit. But you’ve decided that you don’t HAVE to take it. You’re lucky to have discovered this now. Pity the poor souls who are still chained to that hellhole, who are too afraid or cowed or beaten down to come to the same realization. Sure, some of them have less of a choice because of living and family situations (and I don’t criticize such people—you have to do what you have to do) but some just enjoy or revel in the misery. And they want to make anyone who doesn’t want to endure the same bullshit to feel guilty, like a “crybaby”. Don’t let 'em make you feel that way. Pity them.
Well, I came into this thread late, and I want to address something in the OP. First, though, I want to say CONGRATUATIONS!!! I smiled when I saw the thread title.
See, this is something that some folks don’t get. Just because they can suck it up, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with people who choose not to.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the line about, “Well, I trudged through snow both ways and worked 24 hours straight and ASKED FOR MORE, so what’s your problem?” I know that there are hardy souls out there that seem to have unlimited endurance for miserable jobs. But you know what? It is also my opinion that a certain percentage (a high percentage, if you ask me) of these “long suffering and enduring” people are really just martyrs. They ENJOY the misery. Or, they feel they have no choice but to be miserable. But it still doesn’t make the job less miserable, just because they are willing to put up with it.
There’s a lady where I work who keeps on working 16 hour days, day after day. And then she has to be out sick for months at a time, because a work-related injury flares up, or is made worse because she works 16 hours a day! But I’ll bet the bosses consider her a “brave little trooper”, because she is always willing to put in all those extra hours, and continue to put her body at risk. But you know what I think? Between you and me (and how many kajillion other Dopers)? She’s an IDIOT. My gosh—the job does not pay that well. The rewards of the job are not worth her RUINING HER HEALTH for good. But yet she’s a brave little trooper. And I’m sure I’m considered substandard by comparison, because I refuse to do hardly any overtime.
But do I care? Do I feel guilty? Absolutely not. I already went through that drill with my last few jobs. No more. My health is not the boss’s concern, they will schedule me 'till I drop. So I have to be the one to decide how much I can take. My boss is in no position to decide how much I can take. My boss is in no position to decide that the project or event I have waiting at home for me is “not important enough”, and that I really should work some overtime instead.
But, if you let them, bosses WILL try to make these decisions for you. They will work you 'till you drop, and they won’t bat an eye. So you must decide for yourself how much you can take—this is a decision only you are entitled to make. Not them, YOU. And frankly, between you and me (and a kajillion other dopers) I’d be worried about the coworkers who seem to have an unlimited amount of gumption and patience for a dreadful job. Something’s got to give eventually—we’re all human. I worry about people who “suffer in silence” for way too long.
So, this is my way of telling you that you did the right thing—the smart thing. You got out before they sucked the last bit of life and spirit out of you. And like Manda JO said—had you been on this job only a week or a month, it would have been a different story altogether. But you’ve been at this for a few YEARS. You’ve proven that you can take a certain amount of bullshit. But you’ve decided that you don’t HAVE to take it. You’re lucky to have discovered this now. Pity the poor souls who are still chained to that hellhole, who are too afraid or cowed or beaten down to come to the same realization. Sure, some of them have less of a choice because of living and family situations (and I don’t criticize such people—you have to do what you have to do) but some just enjoy or revel in the misery. And they want to make anyone who doesn’t want to endure the same bullshit to feel guilty, like a “crybaby”. Don’t let 'em make you feel that way. Pity them.
Aw man, this is the pit, so someone has to say it…
Guin, my one suggestion to you, if you hate the job you are in, would be to take steps to find a replacement for it BEFORE you quit. Take night classes, talk to career counselors, look for jobs, have a plan. Save some money to pay your bills. THEN, when you are prepared for the consequences, quit your job.
Now, I don’t know your personal circumstances, but you made mention of having loans, and living at home. Do you have the money to make the payments on your loans while you look for other work? Or are your parents going to bail you out on those?
There’s a dangerous trap here to be wary of - the longer you live at home, and the longer your parents are there to cover for you, the harder it becomes to put up with the tough times that are part of life. I know too many people who are addicted to the cycle of finding work/hating it/quitting/moving back home/having parents bail them out/repeating the cycle to have much faith that it’s a good way to go.
But like I said, I don’t really know you or your personal situation, so I’m not criticising. And God knows, I couldn’t stand working in a K-Mart. I’m just making a general point that it’s a lot easier to quit a job when you have family to back you up - but the money has to come from somewhere. Making parents work harder to cover for your lack of desire to work at your current job is not a good choice for an adult. I have no idea if you’re doing that.
Primarily, I’m a bit wary of the number of “Great choice, quitting your job!” responses flying around in here. Where I grew up, quitting a job was rarely a cause for celebration.
“Primarily, I’m a bit wary of the number of “Great choice, quitting your job!” responses flying around in here. Where I grew up, quitting a job was rarely a cause for celebration.”
I say that quitting a job you despised is a DAMNED good cause for celebtration! Especially if you are ABLE to do so as I awknowledge that not every can.
NO ONE has to put up with all that shit! NO ONE! No job is worth someone’s health and happiness.
Anyway, that said, I’d like to say, YOU RULE, Yosamitebabe! 
Sam-that’s why it took me so long-I have been looking for a replacement.
As for living at home-excuse me? Both my parents lived at home until they got married or whatever. Both of them had full time jobs-my dad was going to school-and did what they wanted. They were completely independent people.
I also have an anxiety disorder, as I’ve mentioned, which makes it a bit tough.
My parents are NOT working harder for me. I have money in the bank-I simply have to get back on my feet again. I’ve hit bottom before-there ain’t nowhere to go but up.
I’m more or less with Sam on this.
Ok, you quit your job. It’s done. Your big worry shouldn’t be telling your dad. It should be finding another job. I suggested finding work in the public sector earlier, and several others endorsed that idea. Yet you haven’t yet addressed where you want to go from here, except a vague comment about school and needing money to go back.
In this culture at least, one of the defining tenets of adulthood is independence from your parents, intellectually and financially. I went back to college after dropping out nearly 20 years before, and got student loans (and but myself into about $15K debt to do it). This is an option for you, IF you can establish financial independence from your parents.
And you MUST do so eventually. I am now 44, and both my parents are dead.
I’ve rambled here, I guess. Mostly because I wanted to back up what Sam said, that there are better approaches to making your life better. Seven years at Kmart??? And you’ve hated it all this time? Jeez, you’re smarter than that. I can tell by the way you write.
Good luck.
No. Three years at a grocery store. A little over four years at Kmart.
I’m GOING to find another job. I know I can do this. I am going back to college. But that takes money that I don’t have right now, and the program I want to enter is starting next year in the fall. So I have time for that.
As for moving out-would you guys PLEASE back off that. All right? I’m still in my early 20s, okay? Give me some time to breath. If I moved out right now, I’d have to go back to a Kmart like job-full time. That would most likely send me over the edge.
A lot of people live at home well into their 20s, and it does not mean anything profound. Maybe it’s an L.A. thing, because housing can be so expensive. But I never thought anything of it, as long as the person had a relatively decent active life, and didn’t live like a geek or a hermit or something, and was able to adequately support themselves.
Sometimes, it depends on the family background and culture. One of my friends, well into her 20s, got into the Director’s Guild program, worked as a 2nd AD (Assistant Director). She was no slouch in any way. But she lived at home. She always struck me as the most independent and cool person. But she lived at home. She got a succession of great movie and TV jobs. But she lived at home. She moved out when she was in her late 20s, or even later (I forget). No permanent scars from living at home. So, give it a rest, would ya?
“Lived at home”—is that just a phrase I use, or is it universally understood that I meant “lived at home with her parents”? (The weird things that come to my mind when I re-read my posts…)
I know it’s not a big deal to people in their 20’s these days.
However, though they may not say so to their kids, it IS a big deal to people my age, whose kids never moved out, or moved back in at some point. I know a lot of pissed off parents wondering when they will have a little privacy. Many parents (at least most of those I know) are NOT overjoyed by having their 20-something kids living at home.