Hey, there’s nothing shameful about living with your parents. Sure, if you’re living with them because you’re a lazy mooch with no ambition, then there’s something wrong with it. Because that would mean taking a selfish advantage of someone, which is always wrong, no matter who you’re living with. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with living with your parents while you’re getting on your feet, seeking a job, pursuing higher education, etc. If your parents accept and welcome such a situation, no one should look down on you just because you’re still living with them. I made the awful mistake of thinking I was so strong and independent when I first entered college. I got a horrible apartment in a high-crime neighborhood with three other people, because I was tough, I was all grown-up, I was going to make it on my own. I managed to work two jobs and go to class, and keep my grades up and pay all my bills and it damn near killed me. I was a gibbering wreck for three years. This experience was a major factor in the development of my panic disorder. When I got the opportunity to end this situation by going overseas, I jumped at the chance. I moved back home, and took off. It was the best choice I ever made. When I got home, I lived with my mom for a while, and the only reason I moved out was that I just can’t get along with her. And if I’d shut my mouth and stuck that out, too, I’d have missed yet another fantastic opportunity, the one that’s allowing me to live in a place I love.
My point is, I never would have had the chance to do all these wonderful things and take the great opportunities that came my way if I had not said “Enough!” If I had kept my chin up and stuck it out, I’d still be living in a shitstorm. I might even have been dead by now. And was I brave and a trooper for putting up with this for three years? If you want to look at it that way. But I was also miserable, unhealthy, and completely stupid. There is no honor or glory in being able to eat shit and pretend you love it. You may take a martyr’s pride in being able to stand a soul-sucking job, but you’re also wasting a life that could have been spent on better things. And when it’s over, do you really want it said that your only fitting epitaph would be “A Good Worker”?
As long as you can pay for it yourself, fantastic. But if you can’t, then your avoiding ‘wasting your life’ comes at the expense of someone else wasting THEIRS so you can enjoy yourself.
When it’s all over, I want mine to say, “This was a guy who made his own way in life, always paid his own bills, was a good huband and father, and a concerned citizen.”
The thing is, when it comes to dead-end jobs, there are usually other ones waiting around the corner. And some of them don’t suck quite as bad. Sure, most retail jobs have an element of suckitude, but not all are created equal. There’s no reason why a person has to behave as if they will eat any amount of SHIT from one dead end job, when there is undoubtedly another dead end job that needs people. Another dead-end job that doesn’t dish out quite as much SHIT. So why suffer through such a high SHIT threshold?
Some people stick with horrific jobs as if it’s the last job on earth. Some people put up with horrible crap, when there is no need. For instance, at my current job, I won’t do much overtime. The bosses make noises about how nice and important it is for people to do overtime, but of course they can’t force us to do it. They used to try to pressure me into it, but I made it clear that if I did a lot of overtime, I’d burn out and eventually quit. They stopped pressuring me. My place of employment is almost always understaffed, and they are in no position to push reliable and relatively competent employees out. And I KNOW this. I baffles me that some of my coworkers don’t, and are so easily pressured (unwillingly) into doing overtime. I am not saying that I don’t try to do a good job, or that I slack off. I care about doing a good job. But working 16 hour days on a regular basis is not part of the equation for me, and I’m not doing it. And no one has fired me for it. And I don’t anticpate that they will in the near future.
It isn’t imy intention to suggest it’s OK to dump a shitty job and then kick back and expect your folks (or the government titty) to pick up the tab. It’s not hard to find dead end jobs—I know, I am the Dead End Job Queen. I dunno, maybe it’s me, but I doubt it. When I got laid off of my last job (quite suddenly—the company closed down within a few hours) I had a new job (dead end, of course) within a few days. But the new job had a good schedule for me, and had great benefits. So I have been relatively contented.
It’s not necessary to get a great job, or a great paying job—just something to pay the bills. Not all jobs have energy-sucking bosses. A good way to find out if a dead-end job will be acceptable is to go into the place (if it is retail) and look at the staff. Are they happy? Perky? Or are they sullen and miserable? I almost contemplated applying for a job at a local store, but the employees looked so miserable, I decided against it.