OK, we all knew those wacky Taliban guys refuse to let women go to school or hold jobs or go outside without being wrapped head-to-foot in a huge schmata.
Then, they stone you to death for looking crosseyed at them.
THEN, they destroy all statues in Afghanistan, including those huge 6th-century Buddhas. Now, I read on the AP Newswire that they have thrown the BBC correspondent out and have closed the BBC office.
Pretty soon, they are going to run out of outrageously heinous things to do, so I thought we might offer some suggestions. Any tips? Maybe they can replace all TV with a loop of Adam Sandler movies? Force all schoolchildren to read Theodore Dreiser novels? Make everyone wear hideously unflattering neckties that clash with their shirts?
I’m sure you guys can come up with some good suggestions, which we can then forward to the Top Cat in the Taliban.
Fill the highways with drivers monopolizing the left lane while going 5 mph under the limit with their right blinkers on… bonus points if said drivers can barely see over their steering wheels.
Impossible. In Afghanistan, women aren’t allowed to go to the bathroom.
Seriously, I would anticipate bans on cameras (they are one tool for creating graven images), film, and computers (another way to display graven images). All books that include photographs and drawings will either be destroyed or doctored.
As far as women’s rights is concerned, think the Talib will start making women wear burqas indoors, at their own homes?
Before I forget … as far as stomping kittes goes, I dunno. Stomping puppies might be a possibility, though – arn’t some parts of the Koran interpreted as stating dogs are unclean and “untouchable?”
Ooh, maybe they could airbrush a chador over the author’s picture in all the (unburnt) Eve Golden books in the country’s libraries. That would be pretty heinous.
It may be a little unoriginal, but I suppose that they could always start rounding up Jews, shipping them off and then either working them to death or gassing them with Zyklon B. And hey, we haven’t seen that many human trials lately in research areas like survival rates in vacuums or frigid water.
Imagine a Jerry Lewis lookalike going down the line of prisoners with his wacky walk, strapping on a pair of wacky rubber gloves, saying in his wacky Jerry Lewis voice, “Tvins! I must haff tvins fuer mein research!”
Well, it meets Jerry Lewis’s. See his masterwork THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED (1972).
Bookworm: The women are slowly being smuggled across the border. Once there, they put on short skirts and halter tops and lipstick and thumb their noses back towards home.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Zarathustra *
**It may be a little unoriginal, but I suppose that they could always start rounding up Jews, shipping them off and then either working them to death or gassing them with Zyklon B. And hey, we haven’t seen that many human trials lately in research areas like survival rates in vacuums or frigid water.
How silly you are Zarathustra. There are no Jews in Afganistan. They did away with them years ago.
We, the people of the United States need to invite all of them to a prepaid free gigantic coffee and houka fest in a suburb of their government’s capital. Once they are all seated it’s only a matter of lighting off a couple dozen cruise missles to finish up what we were doing last time.
Ironically, I think that demolishing the statues has now zeroed any miniscule credibility that these morons ever may have had. So be it, these cretins are obviously going for the gold in the looney olympics.
Maybe they will all take up bungee jumping with the finest quality Soviet elastics left behind from the war. One can only hope. I anticipate a drastic drop in their birthrate as the Afghani women rightfully begin to deny these pigs any consort.
Yes, but for a slightly different reason. In most of Afghanistan most people would respond to “Where is the bathroom?” with a puzzled expression and a point toward the side of the road.
The Qur’an doesn’t say anything about dogs except for a brief mention in passing that some dogs are trained to hunt.
It never ceases to amaze me how people get away with “quoting” stuff from the “Koran” that doesn’t even exist there. Starting with Edgar Allan Poe in “Israfel.”