Talk me out of having a "luxury" mini gastric bypass (long)

In My Humble Opinion
21

Only th latter one. I don’t have any obvious bad habits I could cut out; no addiction to fast food or soda’s. I eat homecooked meals every day. (Which is common in the Netherlands) I just eat too much, and I snack. Healthily, but too much. The way I describe it, I eat like a gourmet would eat if they were’t watching their weight.

While I try to counter most arguments, I appreaciate everybody’s input very much. It helps me to form my thoughts. Hearing myself, I wonder if the “now or never” idea is a realistic one.

22

You asked to be talked out of it, so this may sound a bit harsh, but if you don’t have the discipline now, you’re deluding yourself to think that you’ll have the discipline afterwards. A willpower transplant is not included in the surgery.

Will you have the discipline to keep yourself healthy after the surgery, because you’re really just trading one lifestyle change for another. Sure the weight will come off more easily, but you’ll have to balance that with daily vitamin regimens, dietary restictions, and possible side effects you haven’t begun to contemplate.

I’m on the same fence as you, at 5’9 and 269lbs, and these are the same arguments I have with myself.

23

Good points. That’s why I have tried out a few new habits to see if I had the discipline for them. Taking a multivitamine tablet daily is no problem, and getting a reasonable amount of exercise is also no problem. Eating less, however, is a problem. What I hope for is that the surgery will replace that absent will power with a learned response. If I get good and truly sick for 30 minutes, right after I eat too much, I will learn that. I have learned not to touch stingin nettles and live wires in much the same way. If you can teach rats all sorts of stuff by rewards and punishments, why not me?

24

I was a 20 year failed dieter (lose/gain/lose/gain more) until I finally figured it out for me. I lost weight and have successfully maintained it for 4.5 years - so it definitely can work.

For ongoing support, I’m a big fan of the 3 Fat Chicks website. They also have a forum for weight loss surgery, if you are interested in more input for people who have had/or are seriously considering the surgery.

25

100 calories less per day =10lbs a year.

That’s just using non stick pan and a tiny dab of butter to fry an egg rather than a whole pat.

That’s one or two cookies.

Look through your diet for small changes that can make a big difference.

26

A friend of mine got one last year, but I am not sure it is working for him, he eats a lot of small candy though the day to bypass the effects of the bypass, and when we go out to dinner he still eats to much and gets sick

If eating to much food is your way of making yourself feel better, you might still steek this out…

27

I’ll second this. 3FC is a great board, on the whole, and the WLS group is very experienced and supportive, even if you choose NOT to have the surgery. While you are on 3FC, take a look at the Maintainers board, especially the stickies. There is a TON of hard-won wisdom in those posts. One of the best ways to approach losing weight is to talk to the people who have done it.

I’m someone who has struggled with weight all my life. I have not had WLS but have spent a lot of time researching weight loss. I see a lot of “old me” in your posts, and some misperceptions about what the surgery will do for you. First and foremost is your statement that the diet/exercise route only works 5% of the time. This is a very common statistic but is not true. Second, you have the common perception that willpower or discipline (or “motivation”) are what’s needed to make diet/exercise work. That’s not strictly true, either. People who are successful at losing weight simply finally decide that that’s what they are going to do. It’s not about “dieting” but about making deep changes in your relationship with food and adopting a new lifestyle. Do you complain about the discipline it takes to brush your teeth or take out the garbage or walk the dog? No, those are just part of your daily life, things you do because that’s what needs to be done. And, as someone else said, you’re not going to get a willpower transplant with the surgery. You are going to have the same struggles, the same temptations, the same issues, only post-surgery you might – MIGHT – have a sufficient physical limitation to curb how you act on that food relationship.

In the US it is common for WLS candidates to undergo a long period of counseling before surgery to start working on the mental game and to manage expectations. Given that you are new to anti-depressants, I can’t see that a reputable US doctor would do the surgery for you at this time, especially since you are a borderline candidate medically. IMHO – and it IS IMHO – you have a LOT of mental work to do before such a surgery could be a success for you. When I lost my weight (finally!) I spent about 6 months reading and thinking and reaching deep inside myself to figure out what strategies had failed in the past and what might work. For me, sticking to an eating plan was more about strategy than it was about discipline, both from a practical standpoint (“Make sure I always have healthy snacking choices in the house so I don’t have an excuse to eat crap when I’m hungry”) to more mind-game type stuff (“I control the fork.”).

In the vein of learning from those who have been successful, I highly recommend this book: Thin for Life: 10 Keys to Success from People Who Have Lost Weight and Kept It Off. This is based on research done by the National Weight Control Registry and interviews with people who are registered with the group. It was a real eye-opener for me – not only does it contain a lot of good sense, but it busts a lot of those common “dieting” traps that people are so prone to fall into.

Now, having said all of that, I’m not going to discourage you from the surgery “just because.” It is definitely a viable option for some people, and it’s a way to level the playing field to give some of us a fighting chance. It’s not something to be done rashly, though, nor is it something to do without a LOT of mental preparation and realistic expectations.

28

You’re going to have to break your apparently unhealthy ‘relationship’ with food if you want the surgery to really work. I know someone who had one of these surgeries a few years ago or so, and looking at her today, you’d think she was a current candidate to undergo it. They tell you that you’ll get sick if you eat too much, but a motivated eater can get around the restrictions if they really want, one way or another.

I’m perhaps 10 lbs overweight, so you may reject my opinions here. Note that I’m only that much overweight because of willpower related to eating. I think about food a lot. I love cooking. Most of the books I’ve bought in the last year are cookbooks. And I struggle with trying to keep my weight at the level that it is at, and to push it down further. Probably the heaviest I’ve been is a few pounds over my current weight, and when heavier women ask me why I’m watching my weight, after all I’m not heavy, I want to say “that’s why I’m not heavy.”

With the surgery method, you’ll still be dieting. You’ll be in enforced bulimia if the nausea effect still works. You’ll be fighting the “mental hunger” (even if there are no hunger pangs in your gut) whenever you want something that has too much fat or bulk for your digestive system to bear.

I’m not going to tell you not to do this. I’m just going to tell you to be realistic about what you’ll face.

29

My mom’s best friend when I was a kid had her stomach stapled. On one hand, there were complications from the surgery (I think the staple came out?.. I don’t recall exactly) and she was in great pain for a while (and looked hideous when we went to visit). Possibly still is, I don’t know. On the other hand, after the immediate complications were over she said it was the best thing she had ever done, as it really did cause her to limit her appetite appropriately. She certainly looked very different. She looked both more attractive in that she was able to maintain a healthy weight which shows off her curves more, and older (I do think the surgery and the complications aged her a bit).

So I don’t know if this story is an argument for or against. I’d say against elective surgery, myself-- I was put off by how awful she looked at the time-- but clearly she felt differently.

30

This was me until April of this year. I’m 5’7" and when I started Weight Watchers on April 7, I weighed 220.6 pounds.

Since then I’ve lost 29 pounds and change, just by making small modifications. Yes, portion control is a big part of it, and as you know, here in the US we are conditioned toward larger portion sizes. WW teaches you to manage your portions as well as your hunger (and your perception of it). You learn to make healthier and more filling choices. For example, my lunch today (heh, I mistyped that as “munch”) was a giant salad: spring mix; shredded carrots; a sprinkle each of feta cheese, sunflower seeds, and dried cranberries, and a spritz of fat-free balsamic vinaigrette. Delish! For the same number of points I could have had a small slice of cheese pizza. Which do you think (1) takes me longer to eat and (2) is more filling?

There are a lot of lower-calorie, lower-fat, lower-sugar, higher-fiber foods you can switch to that will add up to big differences in your diet. A small flour tortilla can contain your sandwich fillings just as well as two slices of bread, for a quarter of the calories/fat (if you shop right). One egg and a piece of toast with light butter can be just as satisfying as double the amount. There are some yummy fat-free yogurts. And so on.

I thought I would hate tracking my food choices, but it really makes me conscious of what I’m eating.

And yes, I understand all about how hard it can be to commit to losing the weight once and for all. It took me about ten years to get to it myself. And nobody can do that for you. But hopefully some nugget here will flip the switch for you.

My mother’s been “trying” to lose weight for years. Now it’s affecting her health and she’s trying once more, but she’s struggling same as always. She wishes there were some magic solution, and she sighs and wishes she could afford surgery, but as others have said, even that isn’t a magic solution. There will be effort involved, and you have to get your mindset to a place where you’re willing to do it.

Good luck!

31

Sorry for the hijack - are you a poster over there? I’m Glory87 :slight_smile:

32

I used to be. Haven’t visited in a long time, but it was an important cog in my wheel at that time.

33

I have had my stomach removed. (Technically it is in there somewhere, but it isn’t hooked up to the plumbing.) The esophagus goes straight into the small intestine. This is different than what you are planning.

[ol]
[li]If I wanted to, I could still gain weight. I still have to watch what I eat.[/li][li]I now cannot do many things I enjoyed. Like drinking beer. Maybe that is good, maybe not. IMO, it is not.[/li][li]My original surgery was to fix what was thought to be a hiatal hernia. It went badly, and more than once I have nearly lost my life because of it. All surgeries *can *go bad.[/li][li]The quality of my life is not bad, but it is worse than before the surgery.[/li][/ol]
Make a particular note of number one. Even with no stomach I still must watch what I eat - there is no magic.

If I hadn’t had the surgery, I would have eventually gotten esophagial cancer. It needed to be done. But knowing what I know now, there is no way in hell I would get stomach surgery voluntarily.

34

Okay, so, here’s my two cents.

I saw a patient that reminds me a lot of you a couple of years ago. Very similar - woman in her 40s, borderline morbid obesity, decided to go ahead with the surgery and pay for it privately as it wasn’t covered for her.

All the bad stuff that can happen, happened to this woman. A year out, she was still in the hospital regularly. She tried to sue, but you know that informed consent thing you sign? Well, it’s not a joke. Those things can happen, it’s not (highly) unusual and her suit failed. A year later she was chronically ill, bitter and constantly in and out of the hospital.

I know - it’s a laproscopic procedure. I don’t remember which surgery this lady had. It might be different for you. But this is surgery in your abdominal cavity - that’s no small thing. If you do pursue this, pay attention when they explain the risks. The bad stuff? It does happen sometimes. You are in good health now, do you really want to risk that?

If I were you, I’d give traditional weight loss another try. Have you thought about setting some kind of grand goal and training for it? Like, say a destination marathon? Pick a race in some exotic place and train for it - then you get a vacation, a goal to train towards, and the satisfaction of completing a marathon.

35

Maastricht, if you don’t mind, could you share with us a typical day’s diet for you, from the moment you awake until you go to bed? I looked at your pictures, and you look like you could easily lose the weight you want with just proper dieting and exercise.

I know you said you’ve tried various diets before, all with no success, but I’m curious as to what those diets actually consisted of. Also, what does your exercise regimen consist of? Are you doing any weight lifting? Or, is it all cardio?

36

You’ve said dieting does not work for you, and that you exercise. But, really… this doesn’t sound like much of an exercise program.

Now, I’m male, taller, and only now 42, but when I was turning 30 I weighed 230lbs. Not obese, but definitely overweight. Dunno if diets might’ve worked for me; I was simply uninterested in them. However, I committed to an exercise program that included cardio and swimming for 1-2 hours, 4-5 days a week.

I lost 50 lbs in about six months. It was hard and probably required as much (or more) willpower as dieting. But after that time I cut back to maintenance levels of 3-4 times/week… and I’ve kept the weight off for 12 years.

The only real diet change I did was to cut back from a soda a day to only a couple a week; I still went to lunch at McDonalds, for example, fairly regularly. Since then, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gradually adjusted my diet even more – no more fast food lunches – but for other reasons (my chloresterol was also 230; now it’s 140).

Anyway, I live without all the restrictions someone who’s had bypass surgery must live with for the rest of their lives. All I have to do is make exercise part of my weekly routine – and a bypass patient probably has to do that, too.

Before having yourself cut open, I think it might be wise to try a more intense exercise program than just biking and walking everywhere. Something where your heart rate is elevated for an extended period of time – cardio, aerobics, running, swimming, etc.

If you combine it with a sensible diet, all the better.

37

When the capitalist system collapses along with the ecosystem, there is going to be mass starvation on a scale never before seen by the human race. Billions will die. When you’re boiling grass and eating beetles for whatever nutrition you can eke from them, you’re going to be very very sorry you deliberately crippled your ability to absorb calories and nutrients… for the very short period before you starve to death.

38

“I’m fairly fit, and bike and walk everywhere”

That’s vague. What does that mean exactly? I walk to the gas station, but that’s because it’s behind my house. One would think that even if eating poorly, if you biked and walked enough, the diet may not matter (weight wise, not nutritionally). Do you bike 10 miles every other day? Or is “everywhere” within earshot of your home? If so, that’ ain’t “biking and walking” in the slightest. Those things require effort. No offense if you actually are putting in effort, just trying to gauge what you mean by that statement, as it can mean different things to different people.

39

Not being able to diet may be a real problem. Before they approved my mom for surgery, she had to follow a very strict eating plan provided by her doctor for…3 months I think it was. Partly to confirm that limiting her calorie intake would result in weight loss, but mostly to see if she would be able to be compliant with the aftercare regimen. Because there’s a crapload of aftercare, and the success of the surgery is absolutely dependent on being compliant with the aftercare.

Yeah, it’s not a big deal to take a multivitamin every day. But taking a multivitamin, a B12 supplement, acid reducers, a calcium supplement, a couple of fiber tablets, and a protein shake is rather bigger deal, especially when your stomach is only 2 ounces and overfilling it will make you hork for 4 hours straight and wish you could hork for another 4. Measuring everything that goes into your mouth is a big deal.

By far the best thing she’s ever done, though–she has pretty bad arthritis in her knees and ankles, and the pain of all that weight pressing on the damaged joints was pretty much crippling. She’s down to about half her highest weight, and she has pretty much no pain at all any more.

40

If you fail to achieve the results you’re hoping for with surgery, what will you do?

If you can lose another 10, 20 lbs just by watching what you eat and exercising every day, then I don’t see why you can’t just keep going all the way to ideal weight and make it a permanent lifestyle change. Because WLS is going to require a much more drastic permanent lifestyle change–one full of complications and pain and expense.

Just think…if you change your diet and activity level on your own then you can allow yourself occassional splurges and still be ok. But with WLS, there aren’t any splurges. No giant bowls of ice cream when you’re having a bad day. No more being carefree when you go out to eat or attend a family get-together. Everything about your life will revolve around your digestion system. You will be one of “those” people who have a long list of things they can’t eat or shouldn’t eat. People will get tired of hearing about this list.