Apparently commodes will be conversing with their users soon, according to this delightful statement released today on PR Newswire. Messages wil be along the lines of “Remember to wash your hands,” the release says, which I guess beats hearing one’s toilet say “Yow! What a log!” or “Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?” Anyway, color me :dubious: , what does the rest of Doper Nation think?
“We sampled the urine from that drunken chick you brought home last night.”
“It’s gonna start burning when you pee, dude.” :eek:
Well, I see it as a logical cost-cutting measure for companies that have had to offer public toilets. They won’t be paying for any TP for me to use.
There are several appliances that I could see having some kind of useful communication from. The fridge, for example, might be usefully set to monitor expiration dates of things put into it. (Oy! Are you meshuggeh? Have you seen what’s growing on that stuff that used to be salad when you put it into me last week? Spare us both anguish, and get it out of here!) But the toilet is not something I want to have talking at me. Nor the shower.
Have a look at this thread from February:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=408647&highlight=talking+urinals
Evidently the idea is spreading.
“What are you looing at?”
Forget the voice, what about a little LED readout for presentation and delivery. With a “high scores” feature.
“I’m honored to accept your waste.”
I want one with a bidet. So, when the bidet kicks on, it goes “glaglaglaglaglagla.”
A progress report might be nice.
“Your turd clipper’s clean. You may go now.”
Super glue through the speaker grate.