Wow, I hadn’t thought this thread would last as long as it has. I started again today so this has been going for almost a month!
The diva cup sounds like a wonderful idea but it isn’t my cup (heh!) of tea. I am adding it to my list of things never to be inserted into my vagina.
Generally I dump it in the toilet and then clean it in the shower. If I’m out and about I usually have a bottle of water with me and I can use that to clean it over a public restroom toilet, but of course this only happens when I am doing stuff like overnight trains.
It’s hard to imagine, but it’s all quite not as gross as it sounds. Tampons are gross because the blood has had time to dry and grow bacteria and get smelly. They are like an old bloody band-aid. Ewww. DivaCup blood is fresh and not smellly- more like clean blood from a nosebleed. Not the most pleasent thing in the world, but not as gross as it would first seem.
I tried breaking the suction, but when I did I couldn’t grab hold of the silly thing to actually get it out. I could do one or the other, but not both. It didn’t occur to me to use my muscles… standing in the shower may have contributed to my problems as well. Getting it out was an adventure, for sure. After a bit I was getting too panicked to be useful, but luckily my shiny new boyfriend was around to save me. It was a bonding experience I never thought I’d have 
Anyway, after reading this thread I’ve decided to rethink things a bit. I ordered some luna pads and a new diva cup (I threw mine out after it collected dust for 7 or 8 months, thinking I’d never use it again). I’m all excited, and hope they arrive before my period starts again!
I tried Instead and it was okay. I don’t think I had it quite in the right spot, but I did get to see how much easier it is to maneuver around in there while sitting on the toilet.
Another thing that helped for me: the drier your fingers are the easier it is to grip. It’s much harder to hold onto if your fingers are slippery. Since you’re putting your fingers into a naturally lubricated environment, that makes it seem impossible, but here is how I do it. I put my thumb and pointer finger together before I reach in. Keeping them pressed together keeps them mostly dry. Then I sort of slide them apart and onto the cup in one motion.